Good morning

It is VERY VERY foggy outside.  I can barely see the trees across the road. 

So this is the scope with Rainee.  They *think* she has tracheomalacia.  What is that?  It is a trachea that is not functioning quite right.  It may have some kind of small obstruction on it~or just be floppy.   They will confirm this by doing a bronchoscopy on her.  The bronchoscopy will mean having to put her to sleep for a short while and they will put a tube down her airways and see what they can see.  It is very invasive but if it helps us help Rainee feel better I would be VERY greatful, as would she. 

The fix for tracheomalacia?  Well there are two options.  Conservative therapy is moist air (humidifier)  and chest physical therapy.   This is *probably* the option they will choose with Rainee.   Invasive therapy is surgery to repair whatever the problem is.   So back to a holding pattern.

The good news is she's officially off the flovent~~wasn't working AT all.  And we're gonna try giving her nebs of saline instead of albuterol to see if its just the moisture thats helping her.  This would be nice too cause I'm so sick of the medicine that we've been cramming down her throat.   

I have a pile of dishes to do today.  Dh is the chief dish washer but I offered to do them as he was so tired last night.  So thats my number one goal.  And I need to go into the pharmacy with 5 kids in tow.    Not looking forward to it but have to get the saline for Rainee and a nebulizer as well as ours died.  It was 4 years old, but I wish it hadn't died right now money is just so tight. 

I also need to find a humdifier.  Considering calling around and seeing if I can borrow one.  To save some pennys.  The humdifier is highly recommended for the bug (rainee)  so everything to keep her from sounding so terrible. 

As to the reflux~~they feel that she is developing reflux due to the fact that her stomache is always working so hard to get air through her passageways.  This made me feel good because I could have sworn 3 months ago she didn't have it and now oh man does she ever.   

So thats her medical history up to date.  Don't you feel educated?    

Oh and I just have to say I love the net for its medical info.  I could go home after the appointment and do searches and get my questions that I had 2 or 3 hours AFTER the appointment answered. 

I so desperately hope we're on to something, but we shall see. 

We continue to fight the battle as to what is wrong with Rainee.  And *may* have got the doctors on the right track.

I'm too tired to think about it too much right now.  Its been a long day.

But first a couple funnies.  We slept past our alarm~~and Rob woke up 40 minutes AFTER we were supposed to be on the road.  So we zoomed out of the house VERY VERY quickly, no showers, etc.  We had to switch the carseat to the Geo (better gas mileage etc)  So we did that quickly.   And headed down the road.  The carseat was not fastened down right.  I turn around to see it laying on its side and Rainee playing quite contendtedly on her side.   

So we pull over to fix this.  I jump out sprain my ankle in the dark on the side of the road.  Get the #$@*&( carseat fixed and we move on. 

Eventually (3.5 hours later plus)  we get to the doctor.  Well umm mommy was missing her other nursling.  And I was sooooo drippy.  And Rainee wouldn't nurse.     She'd latch on and let go.  And got me spraying.  And I don't mean a little spraying.  I wet my pants with milk   I drowned my shirt and sprayed ALL over the floor.  ROFL  I thought Rob and I were gonna die we were laughing so hard.  And every time I turned around I'd let down some more.    hehehehe. 

I GOT MILK

God answered abundantly above all I could ask.

Rob intervened and said he would drive me.  I was greatful to submit to this decision.  As the drive (4 hours plus including crossing the Tacoma narrows during morning rush hour)  just overwhelmed me.  I've done it before.  but right now mentally it just sounded like toooooo much. 

Any how it still sounded overwhelming to have 4 kids STUCK STUCK STUCK in the car with us for hours upon hours.    And poor Rob entertaining them in the waiting room and the many many potty stops we would have to make.  Etc. 

When I went to Bible study I mentioned how tired I was of dealing with all of the gunk.  And my mom says why do you HAVE to take the kids.  I said~~cause we feel bad leaving them because we've had to ask for help so many times recently.   

Anyhoo mom and sil said thats silly.   And before I knew it my mom volunteered to keep the boys and sil is keeping the girls. 

The boys are already gone and the girls leave in an hour or so. 

So we get an unexpected break.  And Rob can actually meet with the specialist and possibly ask questions that will get some REAL answers. 

I'm so greatful for both of them pitching in.  And greatful for God giving me a calm heart in the midst of making the decisions.  God is good!

Good morning

Today is my dh's birthday.  We are celebrating Monday (his first day of vacation)   But stupid me forgot yes FORGOT to say happy birthday to him this morning.    I feel so bad.  I had it firmly planted in my mind that it was tomorrow.  UGH.  So he's in bed napping now.  I feel terribly guilty.  BAD BAD me. 

Tomorrow I have to take Rainee to the specialist.  What I'd really like to do is go over tonight and stay in a motel.  Because the wretched appointment is at 9:15 in the morning.  Which means I'll have to get up at like 4:00am at the very latest.  I'm not sure how good of a driver I'd be then.     Money however is very tight.  *sigh*  So another option would be for all the kids and Rob to go~~which once again would get spendy cause we'd end up eating meals etc etc.  Or I'd have to rush around packing at least 2 meals.  Gets complicated huh?    So what I really should do is just go myself with her.  But oy it seems so overwhelming today.

Growl I just hate making decisions some days.

My kids are getting very restless.  So I guess this blog has ended before it began.

^{Mark 8:34}   And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
³⁵   For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it.
³⁶   For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

Priorities.  Its so easy to loose sight of mine.    I think I mentioned I bounced some checks.  We're still dealing with the bulk of that.  And last night our online service got disconnected.  But I didn't realize it until they were closed.  I was FREAKING out because I was absolutely 100% convinced we bounced a bunch more checks.  And their should have been about a LOT of money in their.  Major anxiety.  Woke up dh.  Cried.  Thought some terrible things about how useless I was.  Scared myself by thinking those thoughts.   Then dh remembered we had 24 hour phone banking.  So he called them~~we had the money.  We were safe.  

Now we have to figure out why our online service is being butts.  We have a receipt saying we payed them, but for unknown reasons they can't find it.  Just forwarded it back to them.  UGH.

And I've officially resigned from doing the books. 

In Bible study it says God will always make a way to escape from temptation.  We've talked about this a lot.  Well I was stressing about how to fix the books, how to how to how to I can't.  And Rob was just standing their quietly saying you don't have to I will.  But its MY job I said silently.  But Rob said I can do it.  So I listened to the way to escape and am giving it back to him. 

How often do we do that with God.  We think we HAVE to do something.  But God says no you don't.  And we say but EVERYBODY expects it of me etc, etc.  But God says NO child *I* don't.    LET GO LET GOD.  so so easy to say and so impossible some days to do.  So I let go of something.

And I feel relief.  I denied my pride and gave it to God.  phew I can function again.

Good morning

You wanta hear something VERY VERY weird?  My house is clean.

And we didn't hire anybody to make it that way.  It hasn't been clean by our own hands in  I don't know how  long.  Its kinda scarey.  I'm still trying to figure out how it happened. 

Now don't get me wrong their are still *messy* spots.  But in general its clean.  *gasp* Does this mean things are finally settling down?  I'm not sure~~still in shock that its actually clean.  LOL  Don't worry didn't do it on my own~~dh had a big part to play.

Finally got a mask for our nebulizer machine.  So trying the mask instead of blow-by for the albuterol for Rainee.  She HATES it!  But maybe it will help. 

Our old babysitter is back for a week from college.  She's so awesome.  She called and asked if she could babysit cause she missed the kids.    We miss her lol.  So she came and babysat last night.  The date night was not super romantic but it was a break from the kids.  LOL  I was just too icky from my cold to enjoy it a ton.

This morning my cold feels MUCH better.  And so we will continue on.  I think we're gonna go for a drive and get some more rocks for our landscape project that we're doing in little tiny segments. 

Next week Rob has two weeks off.  Hip hip hooray.  He's actually getting his vacation after all.  We've decided we're not going anywhere.  'Ils will just have to wait until next spring to see us.  So we're gonna tear down our old deck and put slate steps in instead.  Our deck is dead.  And if we don't replace it soon somebody's gonna get seriously hurt on it.  We can't afford to replace the deck so instead we're hauling in slate from a old pit we know of and doing it ourselves.  Here's hoping it works. 

and now my mind is a perfect blank so it must be time to hit submit. 

Father God, may this day honor you, and may we give you glory in all we do.  In your sons name, Amen

Things I learned this weekend~~

What to do when 3 babies are crying at the same time~~cry with them

What to do when hubby calls when 3 babies are crying at the same time to say he'll be 2 hours late~~cry some more.

What to do when 3 babies who were crying 30 seconds earlier dump a whole container of baby powder all over the place~~Laugh uproariously cause crying is just too dang depressing!

God can heal!  Rainee was BAD last night at evening service very noisy wheezing.  Elders prayed for her and an hour later she had NO retractions and very quiet rasp the best shes been in weeks.  I thought she was headed for a stay at the hospital but shes doing ok now~~not perfect but MUCH better then last night!

~I have an awesome spouse.  many wives would have been raking care of babies by themselves when they were sick or grumpy but dh kept slogging on.

~babies do get healthier  mine are doing much better today!

~babies share their colds   so now i'm gonna go give baby rainee to dh and take my cold to bed

Good morning

I tandem slept/nursed two babies all night last night.  And Rob slept wrestled with James.  It was a LOOOOONG night.  Princess and HD slept all night long~~this is a good thing.  Bad thing?  That means they wanted up at their normal 7 am time frame.  Rainee wanted up at 5:30.  I stalled her to 6:15.  *sigh*  Please God I want some sleep!!!!!

No church today.  Too many colds to pass around.  Rainee's cold is playing with slipping down into her lungs.  I just keep praying hard.  I'll hear her juicy wheezing for a minute or two and think oh here it comes and then it will stop.  So I do NOT know what is gonna happen today.

Rob came home yesterday from work and said do you need to get away~~I was out the door 2 minutes later.    He didn't need to ask me twice!  I went into town and sat and read my book without interruptions and without having to wipe snotty noses every 30 seconds.  Yesterday that was a full time job.  hehe

In spite of being tired for legitimate reasons I *think* my thyroid med is starting to work.  The depression is lifting little tiny bits at a time, and my energy is slowly increasing.  Oh it feels so GOOD.

Enclosing a picture of my Handsome Dude~~isn't he just so cute

May you have a great day~

Good morning

Well last night our bedroom looked lie a refugee zone.  Wall-to-wall babies layed out on blankets on the floor.  HD has succombed to the cold.  As has James.  Last night HD almost ended up in the ER due to his croupy cough~~but we got it under control

Needless to say no soccer today.  Rainee has a version of it too but so far it hasn't slipped down to her lungs.  She however was awake from 3:30-5:45.  Mommy is very tired.  Because the other kids were awake before that.  Finally mommy took the bigger kids and put them on the floor in the living room left Rainee in her crib in the bedroom and caught an hour of sleep in front of the tv.  You know the kinda sleep where you just drift off and a kid kicks you.  And you just drift off again and one of them coughs, and you just drift off and one of them squiggles.  You know the kind.  The biggest bummer???  No caffeine in the house.  I NEEEEEEEEED caffeine right now.  

Yesterday we didn't have a date night due to our regular babysitter doing the play she's been practicing for.   So we ended up taking the pony over to my moms in the day time.  The original plan was to leave the kids just long enough to go get the pony and load it up into the van.  My mom offered to keep ALL of the kids for a couple hours since we weren't getting away.  IT was SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO nice.  We even left Rainee.   When we got away we realized it was the first time in almost 6 months that we've been completely alone. 

You have no idea how nice it felt.  We went for a short drive

and a small hike.  To a gorgeous view. 

Came back thoroughly refreshed and only in two hours. 

sick kaylin demanding me gota go

Good morning  

I woke up this morning walked into the living room & dh says.  "I've got to go find the pony."  No hi, how are you etc.   Isn't life romantic around here. 

The pony has decided fences are a challenge.  This week he has visited 3 sets of neighbours, the PUD man, and so on and so forth.  Its getting old.  So today he goes to my parents house (if we can find the latest place he visited). 

Kaylin and Rainee both have colds.  So we were up with them last night.  And babying them today.  I just layed Rainee down in a desperate attempt hope that she sleep~~it *might* be working.

I'm so scared the cold goes into her lungs.  Pray please!