Yeah   My homeschool stuff has a home and is organized.  Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!   Now I just have to start schooling them. 

We have had such a nice relaxing day today.  We woke up and decided to go out to breakfast at Chestnut Cottage.  It tasted sooooo mmmmmmmmmmm   And our kids were angelic.  Which was very very nice.  

We then proceeded to Walmart got the oil changed (over-due)  and picked up some odds and ends.  Mainly shoes for the girls who aren't gonna be able to wear their sandals for more then a week or two before it starts raining.  And some wire shelf stacker thingy-ma-bobs to store homeschool stuff on.  The kids were again  98% well-behaved.  The 2% being Samuel...we do not know how to get him to be calm in the store.  He's a looky-lou.  And forgets that he's supposed to stay with us.  So today we thought we'd try a new approach and not nag him about coming.  We were hoping to "loose" him in that we would know where he was...but he wouldn't know where we were in an attempt to scare him into staying with us.  UGH!  didn't work.  He thought that meant the freedom to run round & round aisles.  Fortunately nobody was in the store or that could have been disastress.  SOOOOOo how do I keep a 4 year old walking quietly beside me.  I'd love to just stick him in the cart, but theirs no room.    And i've also tried making him hold the side of the cart, but then he keeps pulling the cart the direction he wants to go which is VERY annoying.  Suggestions??????

If it stays nice this evening I was contemplating asking Rob if we could sleep outside on the trampoline with the kids.  But now the clouds are rolling in...so we'll see closer to the time.

Father God, thank you for letting me get stuff done today.  Thank you for your love.  Enable us to honor you today.  In your sons name, Amen

Good morning

Rainee and I have been awake since 5:30 am.  I gotta figure out how to convince her to sleep in.  HA HA HA HA HA  I know part of the problem is she's been falling asleep for the night at 5:15 pm.  But I can't keep her awake.   So now what???

The fair ended up being fun.  The kids enjoyed themselves a lot.  We didn't do the rides at the carnival.  The line was very very long just to get the tickets.  And it was 85 degrees.  It was soooooooooo hot.  So as Samuel had gotten to do rides with my sister the day before I bribed Zeria and told her I'd bring her back in the evening.  The babies couldn't care one way or the other.

Rainee did not get wheezy in the animal barns   That made me very very happy.  I did keep her out of the petting barn however as much more fur was flying there.  I also gave her preventative meds BEFORE we went inside the barns. 

We got all kinds of comments when we were at the fair.  We had the double stroller and the jogger.  And everybody but Princess was riding.  Samuel had the opportunity to walk, but he found it unnecessary to pay attention to us...so he was given his chances and then rode the rest of the day.   The comment of the year???  "You've got your hands full."  Okay I'm VERY VERY VERY sick of that comment.  Get a original statement folks!

Oh and then their was the kind old gentlemen who is in his late 70's early 80s.  He's a dear friend from the past.  Whom I haven't seen in quite awhile.  And he had to tell a long story about how he used to live next door to the "colored" neighborhood and his best friend was "one" of them.  I was CRINGING big time with the way he worded things, and desperately trying to come up with a way to put a damper on his conversation before my kids over heard.    It was my first very uncomfortable conversation in regards to my kids ethnicity.

Oh I forgot to mention the other MAJOR irritant.  If your gonna be around adopted kids.  Please oh please, oh please do not refer to the biological children as your "real" children.  UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH    I heard that comment at least 5x yesterday.  And I said their ALL my real children.  And then the person would say "you know what I mean."  And I'd say...No tell me.      Okay so I was getting peeved.  But can we hurt my kids any more?  Biological IS a big word...but use it.  Or Natural children.  But REAL??????? come off it everybody's real.  Okay stepping off the band-wagon.

HMMMM James was apparently hungry this morning.  He ate his bowl of cereal...then climbed across the table grabbed Princess's took it back to his high chair and ate that too

Today I have NOTHING to do.  NOTHING.  I don't have a doctors appointment.  I don't have to be anywhere, I don't have to do anything.  I haven't had a day like that in over 3 weeks.  My house is reasonably tidy thanks to dh.  Soooo I think I shall enjoy my kids.  Possibly change the laundry around, possibly not.  And put something in the crock-pot for dinner tonight.  That'll be about it.  Oh can I handle it?????????

Father God, let today be a day of peace.  And let us honor you in it.  In your sons name, Amen

Good morning   I being with this thought from the Psalms.

¹ O Lord , our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!

You have set your glory
above the heavens.
² From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise ^[2]
because of your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.

³ When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
⁴ what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
⁵ You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings ^[3]
and crowned him with glory and honor.

⁶ You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:
⁷ all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,
⁸ the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.

⁹ O Lord , our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Today we are going to the county fair.  I know, I've been running like a chicken with my head cut off, and the last thing I need is another day of hecticness.  But we look forward to this all year long and its only for the next 3 days.  So we will come home when we're tired.  And pray hard that the animals don't get Rainee wheezing!!!

If I remember I'll put my camera in to take pictures.  But no promises.   

And now for my friends who love slings....I found this picture in the stuff my grandpa took.  And I just had to upload it.  This is my mom carrying me in a sling as a baby. 

I was so psyched when I found this picture.  I knew my mom had used a sling, but I'd never seen pictures of her doing it.  And now I have proof LOL  

Okay small things amuse me.

About the pulminologist visit.   I was impressed with the people there.  And they were on my side.    They told me that I was right to advocate for Rainee and the doctor from last week made a BAD mistake in sending her home.    She complmented me and told me to trust my gut in regards to when Rainee is in distress and keep demanding that the doctors over here pay attention.  And apologized that they weren't.   She also complimented me on my knowledge of asthma.  Which made me feel good.

So now I'm gonna be doing research about the barium swallow.  Anybody ever had one???  I'd love to hear your comments.  TIA

Okay kiddos are waking up, so better go.  Oh yes, I got a heavenly nights sleep last night.  About 10 hours or more.    Sleep is a wonderful thing!!!!

Good evening

I have toothpicks propped up under my eyes, and the diet Coke I drank is just not working.  Is it bedtime yet???  Unfortunately my kids don't think so.  Their IN bed, but not asleep yet.  The second they are even slightly asleep I'm joining them.

Rainee and I have been awake since 5:30 this morning.  AFter having slept in a motel with a noisy air conditioning.  The air condition was wonderful as it was very hot.  But I kept waking up over and over.  I finally figured out why about 3 am.  I'm used to being able to wake up a little bit here that Rainee is breathing reasonably well and go back to sleep.  I couldn't hear her over the air conditioner.  So I moved her into bed with me and then slept fine.  Except she was up and bright eyed at 5:30 am. 

Well I survived my visit to the pulminologist.  I'm too tired to decide if she helped.    We did change the meds from Pulmicort to Flovent.  I hope it helps. 

Next Friday I will be going back to Seattle (again )  And they will do a barium swallow to see if they can determine WHY she is wheezing.  At this point nobody's very sure. 

Breathing in and out...and praying hard to survive.

Good morning

I bought my scanner   And had fun playing with it last night!  Here's the first picture I uploaded.  This is my grandpa when he enlisted. 

I won't inundate you with old pictures...but I also had to share this my grandparents wedding picture as well.

On the picture frame that my Grandpa made to hold this picture it said... United to make Christ known.  I like that statements a lot!

As most of you know I have been struggling with depression since Rainee was born.  It tried to get ahold of me again in the last couple days.  One of the things I learned about my grandpa was the fact that he struggled with depression for about 10 years.  He said when he finally got release was when he prayed and read the psalms every day.  So  I think I'm gonna start there. 

My kids bags are all packed.  The two youngest are going to grandpas.  My oldest is going to sil's to play with her girl cousins, and the next one is going to my sisters to play with his boy cousin.  They should have fun.  I'm most worried about Kaylin however.  To the point that I seriously considered taking her with me.  She has been insisting on sitting with a fuzzy blanket, sitting on our lap and sucking her finger since we've been back functioning as our family.  I know it is upsetting her a lot to be farmed out so much.    She's such a mommy's girl and is still nursing.  So she's giving up a lot being gone so much from me. 

God is IN control!  I learned this song at college I have to share it with you.

God never moves, without purpose or plan, when trying a servant or molding a man.  My father knows best and brings us sweet rest.  In darkness he gives us a song.  Oh rejoice in the Lord, He makes know mistakes.  He knoweth the end of each path that I take.  For when I am tried and purified, I shall come forth as gold.

I feel like I'm being put through the refiners fire a LOT.  And its very hard to remember to stay thankful during it.  I've been making myself fall asleep at night by making thankful lists.  Today I think I will share one here.

I'm thankful for having a SUNNY summer this year.

I'm thankful for Princess being such a good helper.

I'm thankful for Handsome dude taking such good care of james yesterday.

I'm thankful for my husband who makes breakfast every morning for the kids.

I'm thankful for my husband doing laundry the last couple weeks while everything has been so hectic.

I'm thankful for family who can watch my children.

I'm thankful for BLUE sky.

I'm thankful for a God who listens to me complain daily, and never condemns.

I'm thankful...that "There is therefore now no condemnation in Christ Jesus."  Romans 8:1 (?)

And I'm thankful for the song I've had stuck in my head lately.  Beautiful, beautiful Jesus is beautiful, and Jesus makes beautiful things of my life.

I end with the picture of Rainee on her first airplane ride.  She did so well on the plain.  We rode on all stump-jumper planes.  And we hit quite a bit of turbulence just before Calgary on the way up.  Every time the played jiggled...she giggled it was too hillarious! 

Good morning   Well, I think my hospital junk is finally in the dirty clothes for the most part.  But the kids junk is not even in out of the house yet.  One day at a time.  Have to pack for them again for tomorrow, so I can take Rainee over to the specialist.  Its a 3.5 hour drive in good traffic.  And I can't guarantee good traffic.  And my appointment is at 9:15 in the morning.  So I'm gonna go over the night before.

Rob has taken way way too much time off, so we have to farm the kids out again. 

My brother had cancer when I was little.  I remember being farmed out a ton because of that.  Mostly I remember it as being fun.  With a little bit of worry as to what the heck was wrong with my brother.  I hope my kids remember it as fun, because I'm really resenting having to farm them out so much.

In regards to the funeral.  My grandpa started out World War II as a C/O (Concientious Objector)  He did not believe Christians should fight.  They put him in a CO camp.  He looked back on it as the worst time in his life.  Everybody else that was there was Draft Dodgers, whiners and complainers.  He was there for his faith.  Finally he decided to enlist.  God protected him in that enlistment and they placed him in a supporting role of making shoes, and cutting hair.  He did not ask for this job he had decided he was willing to fight, but God saved him from that.  I have some military pictures of him...but have to buy a scanner first.  Which I'm gonna do as soon as I can get 3 minutes together to get to town. 

So instead of pictures of my grandpa in military garb.  I enclose two of Rainee one on the ferry and one on her first airplane

This is Rainee on the ferry.  I told Rob I was doing my darndest to be an obnoxious American   I took her in her red/white/blue blanket, and was wearing my red/white/blue jeans star shirt.    To go to my very strong Canadian grandpa's funeral.

My grandpa was extremely patriotic to his country.  And the quickest way to get him grumpy was to criticize the Canadian military.

Soooooooo what did we do Sunday after the funeral?  My Canadian relatives discussed how bad Canadian politics and the military were.  We all decided Grandpa was rolling over in his gravel.

My computers running slow, so I ran out of patience to show Rainee on the airplane.  I'll do that another day.......

Father God, there's so much to do, and I have so little energy.  Give me the wisdom to do the necessary stuff, and the wherewithall to ignore the rest.    Let us also have fun today in spite of all the stuff to do.  In your sons name, Amen

Life looks much better after 10 hours of semi-uninterrupted sleep in a dark bedroom.  Hospital rooms are just so stinking light it is so hard to sleep in them.  I also was able to remember the song I walked down to at my wedding and the song my Grandpa had sung at his funeral.

Because he lives, I can face tomorrow, Because he lives all fear is gone.  Because I know he holds the future then life is worth the living just because he lives.   (the chorus)

God sent his son they called him Jesus He lived and died to buy my sin, and on that cross he sealed my pardon an empty grave is there to prove my Saviour lives. 

Because he lives, I can face tomorrow, Because he lives all fear is gone.  Because I know he holds the future then life is worth the living just befause He lives.

I enjoyed a very special time with Dh last night which also improved my mood.  So all and all I can do another day.

Rainee is still wheezing something fierce.  But no retractions so I can sort of live with that.  At least until Thursday and we see the pulminologist. 

The time spent up at my grandpa's was pretty incredible.  We came back with a bunch of pictures that are 80 years old plus.  I'm going to be scanning them and putting them onto a family web site.  I think I'll share a few here too

My grandpa was a homesteader in northern Alberta.  The house he built still stands.  My great-grandparents were also homesteaders.  Their house also stands.  Here is a picture of 3 generations standing in front of it.  My mom, Rainee and I.

My grandpa was a man of God.  A father of 8 children.  A WWII veteran and a hard worker.  I hope to share over the next weeks some of the things I learned or already knew about him.  I think they will encourage you.

The thing that sticks in my head this morning.  Is my Grandpa worked until he was 70 years old.  He said when he retired that he had never quit a job that he could not go back to.  I can not say that.   Can you?

I'm back.

My heads a whirl.  I actually got back a week ago last Monday. 

The funeral and family thing was good.  I learned a lot about my Grandpa that I had never known.  And I have memories to treasure and to share with you.  I hope to do that soon.

I stayed in a house up there that was very dirty.  Cat and dog hair galore.  It gave Rainee an extreme asthma attack.  I had all her meds and treated her as well as I could.  I wanted soooooooo badly to go to the doctor, but I knew we had no Canadian insurance, etc.  And she was still eating well and her color was still good so I kept battling it with the meds I had.

Monday morning I was supposed to fly back home.  I woke up to her being 10x worse.  She didn't like Alberta and she didn't like the house she was in.  I wanted to go home.  My dad wanted me to go to the ER.  My mom knew and understood my reasoning.  Soooooo I prayed Rainee home.  I actually called my doctor in Calgary she said go to the ER.  Once again I prayed and had peace to continue on in the flying thing.  When we got to Victoria her breathing calmed a little bit.  My dh made a doctors appointment for her and as soon as I got back on American soil I hugged my kids and my hubby and we drove immediately to the doctors.

Rainee was bad.  But her oxygen sat was still good, so the doctor said she could go home with steroids.  And to bring her back in the morning.

She did not improve.  Sooooooo the next morning we headed back to the doctor as she had requested.  She listened to her for less then a minute and had her admitted to the hospital.  They were doing albuterol every 2 hours sometimes less.  She was wheezing something fierce and her retractions were something intense.

The next morning (Wednesday?)  the doctor on call came in.  And he said....well we're not doing anything that you can't do at home...go home.  What the???????  Her asthma was NOT controlled.  I was so floored I went home without thinking.  Had to call hubby to come get me as I had no car.  (long story)

We did not know what to do.  We knew she was bad, and the doctor would not advocate for us.  I was too tired to think/reason.  I went fairly (okay just plain hysterical).  Rob wanted us to drive to Seattle and take her to the ER there.  Problem??  I'd left my #$@*&(@ insurance card in my moms van which was on its way back from Canada.     Plus we'd be going against doctors orders so the bill would be at least a $1,000.   Don't get me wrong I'm not against paying what's needed if her life was in danger...but she still had good color and her sat was still good. 

Meanwhile in Canada my mom was worried.  So they left 24 hours ahead of schedule and came home.  She arrived Wednesday afternoon.   I had crawled into bed in an attempt to make up some sleep.  I woke up about 3:45 Wednesday afternoon and Rob said my mom was home. 

I called her immediately.  Rob was still treating Rainee every two hours and she needed it more then that.

Mom being a good mom suggested I call the doctor I respected and explain that I was worried, etc.  This actually made sense.  But when your in the middle of a disaster you can't reason too well.  Especially sleep deprived. 

So I called the clinic and asked for the doctor to call me back.  She did about 30 minutes later.  I explained the situation.  She was shocked the doctor had sent me home doing albuterol that often.  And said bring her back in and the doctor on call will listen.  (a 3rd doctor )   He listened to Rainee for less then 30 seconds and readmitted her to the hospital.

That's where I've been ever since. 

Her asthma is still not under control.  She's home.  She has an appointment at a Pulminologist on Thursday.  Her albuterol is up to every 3 hours.  And she's doing pulmicort twice a day and prednisilone. 

We are tired beyond belief.  And wondering how much longer we can continue to function.  My kids are wondering what the heck happened to their mommy.  They've seen me less then half an hour a day. 

Rob is off tomorrow and the next day.  So hopefully we catch up a bit.  HAHAHAHA.   He couldn't take time off from work during all of this as he's already taken too much time off.

There's a good possibility we'll end up back in the hospital again.

I'm very very sick of all this.  And I would love to write a boring blog again some day.  Maybe someday life will be boring again.  I'm not holding my breathe.

I redecorated my xanga site...what do you think!

The biggest part of the scare is GONE.  I'm soooo relieved.  And ready to kill my mother-in-law.

Sooooo here's the deal.  We've worked very hard to remain anonymous in the face of my kids birth-mom.  She made some threats to us in regards to getting her kids back.

We got a package in the mail Tuesday from somebody in her home town.  Whom we did not know and referring to something we did NOT know about. 

Wellllllllll it turns out my mother-in-law decided to sign my kids up for a chain-letter to receive books.  Gotta figure how stupid one person can be??????  I'll work on my attitude in regards to her later   Sooooooo we know now whats going on! 

I am gonna keep my kids "name" changes.  And I'll continue posting here.  Its just too much work to change sites.

Tonia