I know my blogging has been less then spectacular.  My life has been busy.  Filled with victorys and defeats.  Mountains…and Mole Hills.
Some things are going really well.  We finally are living in a reasonably clean house.  This has been YEARS in the making.  And do in a lot to the fact that the kids are finally old enough to help clean rather then just destroy.

I am still struggling with fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue.  I have good months…and really really bad weeks.  Last week was a really bad week.  Ironically I could feel my body telling me up to four days before the crash that I was crashing.  I listened and cancelled one thing, but not enough.  And down I went.
On top of that Rainee’s health has been spectacularly going downhill.  And between the two I embraced a MAJOR pity party last Monday, and the stomache bug on Tuesday. Four days of laying in bed wishing I had the energy to lift my head off the pillow, and I finally found my way back to the sunlight.

I love this picture.  It fits my life right now.  When I moved to Clallam Bay I had two choices…embrace the horrible weather, or have a pity party about it.  I would like to say I embraced it fully, but in all honesty its a daily struggle to remember I was chosing to embrace it.  But the thing is when I look at the consequences of the weather…yet another full mud puddle and see beauty, or mud puddles. 

My kids were thrilled when the first big rain storm came…they went running and laughing in it.  They learned that from me.  LOL.  But I wasn’t too thrilled I was sulking. 

But when I went walking in it I found the beautiful maple leaf floating…and remembered God is in control.

Its a daily struggle.

Each time Rainee has a extremely scarey night (like the last two)  I can choose to panic, scheme to “cure” it.  Or breathe through it.  So in struggling with this over and over…and quite frankly loosing last week I was sitting on the computer grousing at the very slowly functioning computer, when God gave me a song…that was just so appropriate.

Can’t Take Away lyrics

All around
All of us
Fear has come and so we must
Ask ourselves
In who we trust
What we have here
Is not enough
So let it ring
In freedom sing

You can take away
Everything that I’ve been holding
You can take away the sun
You can take away the very air that I’ve been breathing
But you can’t take away my God
Oh, my God, my God

Waves will come
And winds will blow
But it’s not here I’ve found my hope
My beating heart
My very soul
Is held by one who won’t let go
And so I’ll cling
To You my King

You can take away
Everything that I’ve been holding
You can take away the sun
You can take away the very air that I’ve been breathing
But you can’t take away my God
Oh, my God, my God

A hope that can’t be lost
A love that can’t be bought
You can’t take away my God
Nothing high or low
Nothing you can control
You can’t take away my God

You can take away
Everything that I’ve been holding
You can take away the Sun
You can take away the very air that I’ve been breathing
But you can’t take away my God

No you can’t
No you can’t
Take away my God
No you can’t
No you can’t
No you can’t
Take away my God, Oh My God, My God.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you see that.  As long as I have God…who I can trust, whether I or my children can breathe or not.  I have God and for today in this moment, that is all that matters.