December 19, 2007

  • Tomato Staking

    Samuel this weekend did some stuff that scared us.  I don't wish to go into details for his sake.  But his world ended Sunday night, and we went back to treating him like a three year old.  He lost the privledge of his bedroom and has been sleeping in the living room on the couch.  Every time EVERY time he broke certain rules there were consequences.  But mostly he couldn't leave Rob's or I's side.  and I mean he had to be five feet a way.  The first four hours of it sucked for all of us.  And I do mean sucked.  He absolutely couldn't grasp the look out for other people don't knock them over, or hurt them rule--even when he was not allowed five feet away from us. 

    All of Monday was rather hellish quite frankly.  But we persisted.  Each time Rob did a chore Samuel had to join him in it.  Each time Rob left the room Samuel had to go.  Tuesday same way--except we told him he could have ten feet from us.  This was a suggestion given to me at Breastfeeding.com  YEARS ago, and I've never had the courage to try it as its exhausting. 

    But we'd tried everything else to get through to Samuel certain things that he's just never truely grasped.  The two biggest are if its not yours don't touch it.  If its not you don't touch them.

    So we're on day three.  And ya know suddenly its clicking with him.  We have gone almost six hours without a single incident.  He's maintained his behavior ten feet away from me.  And was even allowed to go outside *gasp* all by himself for fifteen minutes and came back inside without a single kid crying cause he hurt them.

    I'm not gonna say all the problems of the world are cured.  But I do believe tomato staking is working.  Its not for the faint of heart, but that's okay, as long as the end result is a son I can take in public and leave with a babysitter, and trust that's fine. 

    Tomorrow *if* things continue to go well he's gonna be allowed in another room out of my sight.  But if a single breaking of the rule happens he'll be back to five or ten feet depending on his breaking.  As I told him, if you want to act like a three year old I will treat you like one until you can prove to me again that your nine, and you can be trusted. 

    Breathes, there may be hope.

Comments (5)

  • Train up a child....

    Here's some encouragement to you - for having the strength and fortitude to do what is needed for your kids.

  • I want to comment on the train up a child.....I keep telling myself that God doesn't say how old before they return to what they were taught.  SIGH You are such a good parent to do this for this child and to stick to it reguardless of how stressful it is on you.  Punishment/disapline of children is as hard or harder on the parents most of the time.  Especially if it is being done correctly and with love.

  • I have heard of that term, but have not attempted it.  Especially since once you start you have to continue.. it is very hard!  and with a 9 year old .. wow!  You are an incredible mom!  You have always and continue to be an inspiration to me. 

  • I am thinking you have had a stressful few days.  Wow!  My grandmother always said it scared her when there wasn't a problem to tackle or get through.  I find that is how my life is sometimes.  With young people in your life, that makes for special problems.  Hope you and your family have a blessed holiday.

  • You're doing a great job!

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