July 9, 2006
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A rough week.
I've been scarce online--rather obviously. I've dealt with a fair-amount of pain, and a huge amount of depression. They go hand in hand. I think I'm starting to climb out of it a bit.
Its been worse somehow since I moved to Clallam Bay--the cycles of hiding. But in someways its been better. I've hidden from my "online" life more. But from my family less.
In the past I would have buried myself online, now I'm just burying myself in my family I think its probably the better choice. Even if it does leave people wondering in the stories I'm working on.
I'm hoping to get back into it tomorrow afternoon, as things are starting to look a bit more right-side up.
If you haven't dealt with real debilitating depression for a period of time in your life...you just can't really understand what I'm trying to explain. Its this haze of gray fog that surrounds your head and makes it almost impossible to function. The simple things become almost impossible to conquer. You see yourself almost from outside of things and know that there's something wrong, but you can't fix it--just observe it.
My husband is a saint. He just rides through it. And last night he just looked at me while I was getting dressed and said quietly. "I want you to know, that no matter how your feeling I really do love you...I mean it."
Man God knew what he was doing when he had me wait for Rob. So I cherish my family, move a bit slower, and hold on until this bout of the blues disappears.
Comments (6)
I wish I couldnt understand, but I do.. It is so much better to hang onto family at these times. I have done the internet thing and it just leaves a big hole.
I just got over my really 'blue' time. I lost my mom three years ago may and it takes me all of two months every year to get back to some what normal. I will be praying for you!! Your hubby sounds like a great guy!
Hugs,
Jo
o/
What a good hubby you have!! Sorry you've had a rough week! You're in my prayers!! Hang in there .......
praying that the new week brings new hope. i so know that type of depression and it has been too real to me recently.
I may not understand from experience but I am learning about depression from watching friends deal with it. I will continue to pray for you though and I just want you to know that I care.
{{{HUGS HUGS and more HUGS}}}} But ya know what? I'm really loving your hubby right now. What a doll!
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