June 19, 2006

• Each day I parent...

  
  

                 ~I know a little less

  
  

                 ~ I cling to God a little bit more

  
  

                 ~And I wonder if I'll survive until the last one reaches adulthood.

  
  

  Jamari has continued his lying.   And his getting Samuel in trouble.  He did two very obvious ones in three minutes.  He got in trouble for the first one, walked into the bedroom, pulled a stunt, and lied about that.

  
  

  Oh man.

  
  

  I remarkably stayed calm.

  
  

  He didn't.

  
  

  I have a bruise on my leg from where he kicked me.  I've NEVER had one of my children kick me.  He did it 3x, or more I started loosing track after awhile.  And amazingly I never lost my temper.  There was a angel watching over me on that one.  Doesn't mean I'm not still shaking however.

  
  

  And we got it resolved...eventually.  And we snuggled.  And then i called Rob for comfort.  LOL  I'm so glad he works at a job where I can do that 90% of the day.   There's only 3x a day he's "slightly" busy...with the exception of the rare emergency.  The rest of the time he's just there on-call.   And everyone knows me, and is quite comfy saying "Oh he's busy, I'll have him call you back when he isn't."  So, its quite good.  And one dear lady who spoils me rotten, will say "You sound stressed, I'll go do pill line so you can talk, " which btw I *never* let her do ROFL.  But I love her for offering.

  
  

  Anyhow.

  
  

  Parenting. 

  
  

  Pr 26:28 - Show Context
  

  A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin.   That would be my son right now.

  
  

  I went and hit a bunch of parenting sites about lying.  Most of them were secular, and left me cold.  One actually gave me some practical ways to make the lying less of a battle scene.  I will try it.

  
  

  And yes, I know some of the cardinal rules.  "Don't force your child in a lie."   I.E.  "Jamari did you clean your room?"  When you know jolly well he didn't.  Instead it should be "Jamari you didn't clean your room, go clean it."

  
  

  This I get, and I avoid if at all possible. 

  
  

  The thing is he doesn't do those ones he does stupid ones.  One of my favorites was when we were playing with the aerobee.  Samuel was about 75 feet away from me throwing it to me.  Jamari was climbing the playground equipment behind me.  So there was 100 feet between us.  Jamari slipped and hurt himself.  I asked him "What's wrong?"  He said.  "Samuel hit me."

  
  

  Umm no.   He did that when he was four.  And didn't get in trouble for it--at four kids kind of have issues with reality.  He did get told he was lying.

  
  

  He's 5 and a half now, and he *can* tell the difference.  He just enjoys seeing Samuel get in trouble.  He's admitted this to me on several occasions.  Nobody who in the house actually did the issue its "Samuel."  In his eyes. 

  
  

  The irony in this is.  Samuel gets in 500 more times trouble then Jamari EVER does.  I mean EVER.  Jamari really is a good kid.  He doesn't destroy stuff,  He doesn't beat up on people, he doesn't get excessively hyper, he and Kaylin are my two mellow children.

  
  

  So I'm stepping back trying to figure out how to approach this without compromising my faith, and while still managing to love my son. 

  
  

  Big key one on one time is always helpful when theres a major issue.  So, guess its time to try to carve some out with him...even more then he already gets.

  
  

  Second key.  The counsel I read tonight suggested that rather then "battling" the lie out giving a child a chance to make it right...by sending them to their room to think wether they want to stick with their original story.  Not a time-out just a time for repentance.    It would be a heck of alot better then getting kicked by him.

  
  

  And when he's calm and rational he can say.  "Mommy, I did it, Samuel didn't, I didn't want to get in trouble."  Which means he's aware, but he always picks the lie first. 

  
  

  I guess I'll keep praying, and try two hundred.

  
  

  Man, nobody told me parenting was gonna be this hard of work. 

  
  

   

  • 10:37 pm
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