February 28, 2006
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Oh man,
Life is just...
*sigh*
I fully recognize that I have chronic fatigue. And...I'm just frustrated. I've known it for about four years. No, I haven't gotten the diagnosis. I just know it in my bones.
You can go on about me having six children, and home schooling, and having babies. I *know* there is something not right with my body.
I shouldn't have to deal with the amount of chronic pain in my legs, feet, back, neck, shoulders etc. I shouldn't have to cry when my husband bumps me certain ways.
And I shouldn't have to lay on the recliner chair or sit at the computer chair for two weeks because it is all I'm capable of doing.
And then i have a "good" day. And I see everything that wasn't done for the previous two weeks, week, month, and I go rather insane.
Man, its a terrible cycle.
My kids rooms haven't been truely cleaned since the last time I dug out of the fog.
What was that a week ago?
And EWWW!
I'm just...overwhelmed. And swimming fast and getting no where.
I know some baby steps to take...like getting off sugar. But...man that is beyond frustrating.
And yeah I could go to the doctor, but just not impressed with them. There immediate response is "you have 6 kids"
Yeah I do. But I do NO household chores. Rob does the laundry, the dishes, the vaccuuming. I am ONLY responsible for myself, and keeping the kids doing school. And still I'm beyond exhausted I'm in no moving land.
So, stuff. I recognize there's a problem, but I have no wisdom whatsoever.
I get bursts of energy, should I use them, or pace myself, or not use them. Its all overwhelming.
I'm not writing this for hugs, or smiley faces. I'm writing this trying to find a way out. And I don't see one.
The truth is my husband is superb, and extremely patient. He's a nurse, and his mother has chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia so he just deals. But UGH.
and double UGH.
"If any of you lack wisdom let him ask of God who gives generously to all without finding fault." James 1:4. I'm looking for some of that right about now.
Comments (4)
read the book- is this your child by doris rapp. it is about food allergies and how dramatically they effect our bodies.
Well, you said no hugs or anything so... Thank goodness for a great hubby and I can SOO related to being overwhelmed when looking around weeks (months) later and seeing/realizing how much things got out of hand and you never know quite where to start again because it ALL needs immediate attention. lol I usually take advantage of the sudden bursts of energy since there is no guarentee when the next one will be.
i totally understand how you feel - i am in the same boat - i can't my stuff together but i am responsible for keeping everything going in our house - i just need some time without kids/work/hubby to straighten up my house, clean up my desks, just go thru the clutter/crap in our house - but when?!?!?!?
I hope this isnt a sore subject, and I hope I know you well enough to bring it up....I have been losing weight, and my knees and back can really tell a difference. It's only a difference of about 20 pounds, but I don't ache as much and I am sleeping better at night. I don't have chronic pain, but I know a body can only handle so much. I have very bad knees, and especially after dislocating my left knee back in November (and I am still going to PT and limping) I knew I need to take some weight off. I have a long way to go, but I am going to try my hardest to get back to a decent weight. It could be a start to help with your pain.
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