so so very tired, and just exhausted, and mind numbing weary.

Get the picture?  LOL

It was a LONG day.   A good one, but a long one.

We had my grandmothers homegoing celebration today.  AKA  Memorial.

It was good.

We sang upbeat songs, enjoyed visiting with family, and laughing about the good things.

Both my dad and my uncle were determined it be a celebration...and it was.   Right down to clapping in time to Victory in Jesus, one of my grandmas favorite songs.

God gave me the miracle of being able to dance my fingers through The Holy City.   It is an extremely complicated piano arrangement, and I had lost my copy.   I didn't get the music until Wednesday, and had little time to practice it.   I was terrified I would flub.   And I just watched my fingers play and do it, only hitting one bad cord.

My aunt who is an extreme perfectionist said it sounded "perfect"  "I didn't notice a single note out of tune, it was wonderful."   To get this kind of praise from that aunt...means God truely intervened.

The song...it just puts shivers through my spine every time I play it.   It is just incredible.

The holy city

Language: ENGLISH

      Last night I lay a-sleeping

      There came a dream so fair,

      I stood in old Jerusalem

      Beside the temple there.

      I heard the children singing,

      And ever as they sang,

      Methought the voice of angels

      From heav'n in answer rang.

      Jerusalem! Jerusalem!

      Lift up your gates and sing,

      Hosanna in the highest!

      Hosanna to your King!
      And then methought my dream was chang'd,

      The streets no longer rang,

      Hush'd were the glad Hosannas

      The little children sang.

      The sun grew dark with mystery,

      The morn was cold and chill,

      As the shadow of a cross arose

      Upon a lonely hill.
      Jerusalem! Jerusalem!

      Hark! How the angels sing,

      Hosanna in the highest!

      Hosanna to your King!
      And once again the scene was chang'd;

      New earth there seemed to be;

      I saw the Holy City

      Beside the tideless sea;

      The light of God was on 

      its streets,

      The gates were open wide,

      And all who would might enter,

      And no one was denied.

      No need of moon or stars by night,

      Or sun to shine by day;

      It was the new Jerusalem

      That would not pass away.

      Jerusalem! Jerusalem!

      Sing for the night is o'er!

      Hosanna in the highest!

      Hosanna for evermore!
The amazing grace and power that God

gives, the amazing hope of a future without flaw

wow.

It makes me want to cry, sing and dance all at the same time, 

and it makes me want to share.

It also makes me sad for those who don't

have that hope.   For those who don't

have a faith and a belief.   And knowing

that I can't force them, I can't even 

get them to listen for a moment.  All I

can do is sit and watch, and pray that their

eyes and heart will be open.

Memorial services should be glad homecomings.

And how many familys go into them knowing 

they are not?

Xanga is doing strange thigns with my typing

sorry about the double spacing.  Very bizarre.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the memorial service we ran out to the

property to show my parents.  It was POURING,

but my mom picked out the spot she

wants to put her vacation home.  *giggles*

My dad pointed out a couple trees that are

dying and needs to come down.   And God

pointed out a raven that some IDJIOT had

shot.   Its wing was broken, and it was hoping

wet and cold. 

My dad armed in his leather coat managed to

get it, and took it to a raptor recovery

center.

My grandma would have been thrilled to see

us.

And yet, at the same time I cry.

And am crying as I write.  Its the tired,

and the emotion, and life.  LOL

 And yes I should be in bed...but this had to be written somehow.   No its not based on tonight.    But well *shrugs*  I was inspired.  

The ghosts in the schoolhouse

copyright Tonia Signor

The house was quiet.   There was no noise from within.   The silence was overwhelming.    And yet as I focused on the silence I heard the humming of the fridge, the soft whirring of the fans, and off in the distance outside of my quiet little nest a few out of season frogs croaking.

            I was alone in my big dark bedroom.   The lone night-light silhouetted the room casting strange twisting shadows, making the cheerful place seem dark and sinister.    The ghost’s of the schoolhouse I lived in were walking tonight.   You could see them in your minds eye, fighting, playing, and holding grudges against the living.  

            I shook the feelings of fear off and focused on the book I was reading.   I had no business reading it in the house by myself.   The dark house with the creaky floors was attempting to over power me.   I heard movement upstairs and let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.   I wasn’t alone; my kids were upstairs.   Focus, breathe, your fine read your story.    The story however was no help.

            The characters in the story had just left their campsite to return home.   When they got home there pets were dead, the food was moldy, and their parents were gone.   I wondered what had attacked, who had done it, and I heard the silence of my house.   The book enticed me, called me to read just a bit more.    I studied the words absorbed in the words of make-believe, and terrifying myself as I did.   When suddenly a loud male voice coming from outside my French doors said.   “Knock it off.”

            The book fell to the floor with a loud thump.    I didn’t want to move.   I didn’t want to look.   Who was at the door?   I froze lying perfectly still facing away from the sound.    The door began to rattle and shake.    I didn’t want to look, but at the same time I was the defender of my children this night, so I must.   I rolled over forcing myself to look at the door.   There was nothing there.   “Its just the wind.”   I whispered to myself out loud.   “The voice, it was just the neighbor walking his dog, relax, breathe.”

            My voice was not calming me.   “Why did he have to work tonight?”   I asked myself thinking of my husband who was supposed to protect me from these kinds of things.

            The door shook again.   I looked; the farm cat was hoping to come inside.   “Sorry, not tonight, I am not unlocking the door.”   I muttered to the cat.   “I can’t believe I just got scared over a cat.

            I started to laugh nervously, and turned back to my book.    The story continued, more dead pets, no radio reception, and no television.   I was back in the world of terror.    And then I heard a piercing scream coming from upstairs.   I reached for my faithful shotgun, making sure to load it and headed up the stairs.     When I had made it to the top the room was silent.     There was no noise.   Were my children alive?   I knew I had to look, and yet I did not wish to see my worst nightmare come true.

            The moon filled the windows of both of my children’s bedrooms.   I peered down the dark attic spaces and struggled to see their silhouettes.   One, Two, Three, Four, Five, each child was accounted for.    No monster was hiding in the dark.   “It must have been a nightmare, you really shouldn’t be reading that stupid book.”   I muttered to myself and headed back down the stairs thoroughly riled up.

            I picked up the stupid book again.   I was awake, I may as well find out what was going on in the world of make believe.   I laid the gun beside my bed.    It just seemed necessary tonight.    The author had a way of writing that was believable, and engaging.    I was immediately caught up in the plot again, and once again scaring myself half to death.

            The silence in the house was deafening.   The darkness was swirling around trying to win, to pull me into its web, and entice me to sleep.    My eyes grew heavy; it was almost time to place the book down.    As I reached to turn out the light I heard another scream.   This one was higher pitched and coming from outside.   I barreled out of bed grabbed the shotgun cocked it and headed through the house to the front door.

            There was something out there, and once again it was my duty to determine how to handle the situation.    I lived in the country, there was no one there to help, no cops to call, no parents to interfere, just my children and myself.    I stared through the picture window looking for the boogieman, the alien, and the sexual predator.   I saw nothing.   The scream pierced the air again.      I recognized it finally.   It was the cougar.   A neighbor in the area who didn’t know better had been feeding it.   I opened the door cautiously.   I couldn’t see it, but I didn’t want it around eating the cats.    I released the trigger from the gun and then something touched my naked legs.

            I screamed.   I screamed and screamed and screamed.    I managed not to let the gun go off.   I turned and looked to see what had touched me.   It was my daughter.    SIERRA!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF BED??????    My whole body was shaking.   “I need a glass of water.”    She said quietly.

            I took a deep breath trying to come down off the panic.  “Water, I can do water.”   I muttered desperately holding onto the last of my sanity.    I handed her a glass of water, kissed her good night and watched her go up the stairs.   

            The house returned to quiet.   The sound was deafening.    And I was afraid to sleep.   What other noise would come.   Would the next one be real?   I sat on the rocking chair holding the gun in my lap.   I would protect my family.    I would not pick up the book again.   The ghosts were prowling tonight, and I would be vigilant.  

the time it takes to clean the house for the realtor...2 days

the time it takes Jer to trash it...5 minutes

 

 

Wow....

I always wondered what it would feel like to win the lottery.

The relator came today and did her market analysis.    She didn't give us a "offical" answer, as she had to do some research.    But the low-end estimate was 60,000 dollars MORE then we had guessed.

Apparently this little dump of a house that I love is worth a lot.

If all works well, and God allows it to sale etc.   We will own the property in Clallam Bay free and clear.

This is just...well leaving us both numb.   And shocked, and almost afraid to believe it might be the truth.  

In theory...we could actually have money left over..if we wanted to wait.

I don't think we will...I think we'll actually sale it for a bit less just to get it sold, but wow.

God is good.  

 

And Munchkin mommy tagged me, but this is always a good thing to be tagged about. 

List 10 things that bring you joy and tag *SIX* friends to do the same....

1.  Rainee's laughter

2.  My husband

3.  The view outside my front window

4.  God's love

5.  The ocean

6.   My kids sense of humor

7.   The colors of nature

8.   Writing

9.  Playing the Piano (and man I need to do that more)

10.  Finishing a task that looked impossible

And I tag;  Flute, KerriW, Mrs. Moore, Wommie, Jennyfur, and Shadow.  

On the extremely funny side of life.

My kids started talking about Jr. Church on the way to Clallam Bay this morning.   "debbie had the boys plug there ears, close their eyes and told us something."

"Oh? what did she tell you."

Z;  "It was about boys."  (lots of giggles)

Me;  What about boys??  (more giggles)

Z;  Umm, Umm, about boys

Me;  What about them?

Sam;   It was about boys and marrying

Z;  Yeah  *giggle*

Me;  What about them?

Sam;   Men control women, and so they have to be careful who they pick.

Zeria;  Yeah like wether they drink, or smoke, or hold a good job.

Me;  CONTROL??????

Rob;  (cackling loudly)

Sam;  "YES that's what she said."

Me;  CONTROL?  I doubt thats what your teacher said.

Sam;  YES I KNOW THAT's what she said.

Me;  Sniggering super hard.  Umm, honey I think you misunderstood something.

Sam;  NOOOO  she said men control women.

Ooooooooooooooooooo  dear.

So laughing hysterically I told Debbie about this tonight...she's the least submissive woman I've ever met...never mind being "controlled" by her hubby.

She started giggling loudly.   And will be doing a review of last weeks lesson...to right some grieveous misconceptions.  *snigger*

Oh and the lesson was based on Titus and was about the older women were supposed to teach the younger women.   And one of the things was to "obey" your husband.     Which is rather a big lesson to learn...and we won't be getting into here.  LOL  I don't wanta touch that can of worms.

But obey is  HIGHLY different then control...its a choice.

And now....it must be time to have some heart to hearts with my children about my biblical beliefs as to how marriage works...since a new can of worms has been open.   

Once I stop laughing.

  

Woooooooo there we are in the porch of the house signing things away...don't I look thrilled.  *snigger*  I actually was...but freeeeeezin' cold.   Isn't the view from the porch purdy?

The house...a really crappy picture of it.   Its much bigger then this makes it look, with a very pretty closed yard.

And then the incredible advantages of 22 park acres.  Just beautiful.

Gorgeous BIG trees, all parked out underneath them...and then a little trail to my own river.

There's also a creek on it which we didn't even go see.  Plus some *almost* merchantable timber which can be harvested in ten years.  (alder the junk wood of the PNW)

     

Exploring a small piece of the river...its a very gentle little thing...barely qualifying as river.   And yes the house is out of the flood zone.   We asked 4x ROFL

I didn't take enough pictures....and the pictures just don't begin to describe the gentle and overwhelming beauty.   Rob was just in love, and so was I.

                  

some of the very large trees...the little blonde dot is Rainee.

Sooo just beautiful.  So beautiful.

My parents are wanting to build a vacation home on a corner of it, and we will of course cheer them on in this endeavor, sides it would give a good place for our 'ils to visit.

It is actually laid out to be campground, and we could conceivably use it for that if we wanted...or just enjoy a lot of space for my family to spread out on. 

 

 

wooooo

Well.

We just put earnest money down on that property. 

And when I get off of here I'm calling a real-estate agent to list our house.

Its contigent on us getting financing either by saling our house or other means...

and

WOOOO.

Wow.

Just absolutely incredible property.   I have pictures I will share when some of the finer rather terrifying details are worked out...the biggest being calling the Agent.

So

woo

This might be a major reality.  

*gah*

We went to the doctor.  He said it looks great, but he doesn't want to move it as itis not very "sticky" yet.   So another week of the sling.

Zeria cried when she got to the car.   And has been depressed since then.

I really can't blame her.

No play, just sit.  Drs orders.   Week 2.

*screams*

I guess I'll continue to be quite up online. 

I've discovered...she truely is dealing with depression.   Because her arm hurts the most when she's bored.    And tonight she's added stomache to the list.  I just can't blame her.

So we bought Papa Murphy's for dinner...and life moves on.    Now I just have to explain to DH where that money came from to do that...   He won't be bothered too much, except well money is very very tight right now.

Tomorrow is Awana, and I am going to let her go, she just won't be able to play games, so she has something to look forward to at least.    And life moves on.

*waves*   Headed out at 1:00 to do my errand to Sequim, and get Zeria's cast on.   I will be greatful when we don't have to watch her quite so closely.   

My favorite babysitter will come and keep the rest of the kiddos, they aren't inviting to a cast-setting party LOL.

Did I ever mention how she broke it?   I should scan down and re-read.  OH well. 

The princess was doing a trick standing on her bike seat racing down a hill, and rather forgot to steer.    She steered right into a stationary red-wagon.    Boom.  One could hope she learned something.

I'm so sick of the tv.  SICK.   But it keeps Zeria somewhat content, so it continues to blare on & on.

I keep going back and forth about moving.   The thought of going into debt even temporarily while trying to sale this house doesn't appeal much.   But also the thought of trying to sale this house with my kids in it...just exhausts me.   *shrugs*  Details. 

If God wants this to happen...he will work them all out.  If not, I have a house I love, and have worked hard on to make it this way.

Life is fascinating.    Peace is good.   

 

soooo brain-fart.   And the WMF meeting is NEXT week.  *sniggers*

Oh well.

And the mail hasn't come, and DH told me I could wait 'til tomorrow to take it.

Soooooo I'm twiddling my thumbs listening to JEr empty the garbage.

I'm totally caught up on the boards...Zero to do.   Needs somebody else to be board.  *snicker*

Should get off and do something profitable, but that will just remind Jer my arms are empty and he should fill them.    I'd rather not.  LOL

Twiddle, dee, Twiddle dum.

Woo four whole minutes of boredom, I'd forgotten what that looked like....