May 23, 2005

• Change.

  
  

  I’ve been contemplating a MAJOR change that quite frankly terrified me beyond all belief.   Reasons following in a bit.  Any ways the change is in regards to schedule.  I’ve been thinking it was time to sit down and write down what NEEDS to be done in our day, and WHEN its going to be done.

  
  

  It has been a major UGH.

  
  

  I don’t do schedules/goals well.   I see inability to reach said goal/schedule as complete failure.  Capital F FAILURE.

  
  

  Background for this.  I went to a Christian school from K-8th grade….with one little year blurp in their at a PS.   At said Christian schools we worked on a self-education program.   We were required each day to set goals a minimum of 16 pages.   Which equaled about 4 pages in each workbook.  If we didn’t complete our goals we brought home the work to do at home.  It HAD to be done in that day…PERIOD end of subject.

  
  

  We wrote these goals a week at a time. 

  
  

  These goals were set by ourselves from the age of seven on.  Yes, seven.

  
  

  Seven year olds…don’t handle this too well.  Well a lot did.  I didn’t.

  
  

  On top of these goals–being the entirely too over-eager beaver.  I set goals of how many books I wanted done by such & such a time.  Those goals oh my word were just over the top.

  
  

  By half way through the first year I had to do this, I quite literally had a nervous break-down.   I had stomache aches, colds, you name it all so I could call my mom and go home.   And they were NOT faked. 

  
  

  My extremely wise mom recognized something was wrong.   My extremely wise principal had dealt with this over-doing-it syndrome before.   For the rest of the year I went home at noon.    And baked cookies and was allowed to be a little kid.

  
  

  Fast-forward.  Different Christian school.   Half way through 4th grade.  Same issues.  Colds, Stomache aches, and “Mom can I come home?”

  
  

  Same terrible problem.

  
  

  Finally to solve it…the Principal (diffy one) and my mom made a new rule…just for me.  (lucky old me).   I was NOT allowed to set more then ten pages of goals.  I was NOT allowed to.  ROFL.

  
  

  And man did it urk me.   But I stopped being sick, and school became relatively enjoyable from then on out.

  
  

  When we moved to a new area my mom h/s and she set my goals…it was just easier that way.  *snicker*

  
  

  I’ve always set for my self UNATAINABLE, UnACHIEVEABLE goals…and shot myself and made myself sick when I didn’t reach them.

  
  

  Soooooooo schedules/goals scare the bejeebers out of me.  Its easier not to set them.

  
  

  But if you DON’T set any goals…you don’t accomplish any.

  
  

  So…I’m back on a band-wagon.  *snigger*

  
  

  And its a baby-step one.   I believe this schedule is doable.   And I’m saying over & over in my head it is MEANT to be flexible.

  
  

  Maybe this time at 33 I’ll believe them, and not live in the true terror I’ll have homework.  (sarcasm read here)

  
  

  Wanta see it?

  
  

  8:30-9:00 Wake up/nurse babies

  
  

  9:00  My computer time while daddys home.

  
  

  10:00   P.E. Combined with Math 

  
  

  10:30  Individual reading with each child.  (older ones reading to me, me reading to little ones)

  
  

  11:00   Lunch

  
  

  11:30  ALL watch Scrapbooking on DYI  (my kids love this)

  
  

  12:00 Household chores which ALL participate in.

  
  

  12:30-2:00  Free time do NOT bug mom–entertain YOURSELF

  
  

  2:00 Craft time–Scrapbooking, beading, etc.

  
  

  3:00  Hike or Bike together

  
  

  3:30   Dinner Prep

  
  

  4:00  Dinner

  
  

  4:30 Call Daddy watch Food Network (The secret life of …)

  
  

  5:00  Clean bedrooms get pjs on.

  
  

  5:30   Mom reads “big” story aka Little Princess or something.  (Currently its Karen Burton Mains book Tales of the Kingdom)

  
  

  6:00   Bedtime…which umm takes an hour and a half.      They wind down slowly…. 

  
  

  And then…mommy does a happy dance!!!!

  
  

  Today I modified schedule…as its allowed to be.   And did it.  It worked extremely well.  *grin*

  
  

  The kids were eager, and thoroughly enjoyed all the mommy time.  Actually they were quit MIFFED when that whole FREE TIME thing came up.    *snicker*

  
  

  Just as I was thinking Man I’m exhausted I realized I’d hit free time, and regained all the energy….and before free time was over found myself restless and looking forward to tackling the next project.

  
  

  May this work.

  
  

  If it doesn’t….I refuse to get stomache aches, and or colds due to stress.

  
  

  Of course…just the thought of writing it down last week cause me an anxiety attack–and 2 hours later I was flat in bed for a week with extreme back pain.    I’ve wondered all week if it was my old stress thing coming back, or…guess we’ll never know the answer to that. 

  
  

  All I know is I sat in morning Service praying and felt called to write this schedule.  I wrote it on my kids notebook…and peace absolutely flooded through me.

  
  

  And…my back hurt less then it had all week.   The pain lingers mildly, and its a good reminder to do my back stretches, plus some new ones.   But….hmmm I think this might work.

  
  

   

  • 10:38 pm
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