Month: March 2005

  • I was searching for something else...and found this poem.  I don't know who wrote it, but it made me think of someone who blogs almost daily of waiting.   This is for her...I think she'll know who I mean. 


                                     WAIT


    Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.


    Quietly, patiently, lovingly, He replied.


    I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate.


    And the Master said gently, "Child, you must wait."


    "Wait!  You say,  "Wait," my indignant reply.


    "Lord, I need answers.  I need to know why.


    Is your hand shortened?  Or have you not heard?


    By faith, I have asked, and I'm claiming Your Word."


    My future and all to which I relate


    Hangs in the balance and you tell me  "Wait".


    I'm needing a "Yes", a go-ahead sign or


    Even a "No", to which I'll resign,


    And Lord, you promised that if we believe,


    We need but to ask and we shall receive,


    And Lord, I've been asking and this is my cry,


    "I'm weary of asking.  I need a reply."


     


    And quietly softly, I learned of my fate


    As my Master replied once again,  "You must wait."


    So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut


    And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting.  For what?"


    He seemed then to kneel and His eyes met with mine,


    And He tenderly said,  "I could give you a sign; 


    I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.


    I could raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.


    All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.


    You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.


    You'd not know the depths of my love for each saint,


    You'd not know the power that I give to the faint,


    You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair,


    You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there,


    You'd not know the joy of resting in Me


    When darkness and silence was all you could see.


    You'd never experience that fullness of love


    As the peace of my Spirit descends like a dove.


    You'd know that I give and I save for a start,


    But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart,


    The glow of my comfort, late in the night,


    The faith that I give when you walk without sight,


    The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked


    Of an infinite God that makes what you have last.


    And you never would know, should your pain quickly flee,


    What it means, that "My grace is sufficient for thee."


    Yes your dreams for that loved one, overnight could come true


    But the loss - if you lost what I'm doing in you!


    So be silent, my child, and in time you will see


    That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.


    And t hough oft, when my answers seem terribly late,


    That my most precious answer of all, is still, Wait.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


     

  • Well I got two pokes.  *sniggers*  And then found myself reluctant to put it up anyhow.  silly me.  Its a part of me I haven't revealed much of on my blog I guess.  Soooo put yourself into a fantasy mind set, and enjoy.  Or skip it if fantasy isn't your gig.  Cause this is totally a foo-foo story. 


    This is written about one character who I have *just* begun to write a bit of.  And another character who has lived in my head along time, but I haven't found the right place for her to live.   And now your thinking I've lost it.  Its okay, I didn't understand until two ladies led me to some facinating boards several years ago.  *giggles*  


    Oh yes...and when I began to write Taylie....I had something *totally* different in mind for her...and had no connection between these two characters.  And suddenly they just clicked together.   And one thinks they can control what they write. 


                   Beginnings and Endings



    “NOOOOOOOOOO!”   The blonde haired elf screamed over and over.   The anger and grief she felt as she saw the dead bodies of both her parents and her husband overwhelmed her.     She ran through the house frantically looking for her daughter, praying beyond some hope that she had been hidden, safe from whoever had done this terrible deed.   As she ran she completely missed the fact that there was still someone in the house.  


     A bald man stood quietly beside a door admiring the view of the blonde elf.  He nodded his head quietly to the two female slaves who stood beside them.  “Bind her.”  He spoke softly.  The women frowned but quietly used their magic and did as they were told.   Immediately Tres froze in mid scream.  She could see, hear, feel, and speak but not move.     “Leave us alone.”  The man commanded to the blonde serfs.   They quickly obliged they had no wish to see what was to take place.


    As Maureen and Crystal left the room the screams grew louder and louder.   The slaves sighed quietly.  They had heard it before, they would hear it again and yet to protect their own children held hostage by this man they could do nothing.    The blondes headed outside desperate to get away from the sound.   As they walked into the yard they noticed a rose bush quivering.    Maureen looked at Crystal with a question in her eye.     Crystal bent down and peered through the bushes.   “Hello?”  She asked.


     A small girl no older then three years old peered out of the bush.  “Shhhhh!”  She said holding her finger up.  “Grandpa told me not to talk to strangers.”   


     Crystal got down on one knee.  “Its okay sweetie, we won’t hurt you.  But you’re not safe here.  We must hide you better, while you have a chance.”   Maureen shuddered.  “We can’t, we’ll pay for it.”    Crystal shook her head no in argument.  “We must, we can help this one, and if we hurry no one will know.”     Maureen sighed for Crystal was too softhearted.   She turned her back.  “You’re on your own with this.”    She said.   She wouldn’t reveal the secret, but she also wouldn’t help.


     Crystal gestured to the little girl.  “Come here sweetie, lets get you farther away, you’re not safe here.”    The little girl shook in fear, but came to the woman assuming that only men were strangers.  She crawled out of the rose bush and stood close to Crystal not willing to make eye contact. 


     Crystal bent down and picked up the girl.  “I’m Crystal, lets get you out of here, fast.”   She began running in the direction of the woods she could see.    “Surely there must be a safe place in the woods.”  She muttered to herself as she ran.  “What’s your name honey?”  She asked as she continued to move into the safety of the large cedar trees she saw in front of them. 


    The little girl whispered. “Taylie.”   “What a pretty name, for a pretty little girl.”  The blonde slave said whispering back.     “Now where is a good place to hide?”  She said looking around frantically.      And then she saw it a large tree, or rather five large trees that had grown close together.   In the middle was a dark hole that you couldn’t see unless you peered hard through the branches.  She doubted her boss would be so thorough.   “Climb in there Taylie, and pull the branches over your head.  Don’t move until your mommy comes for you.”  Crystal didn’t bother mentioning her mother might not come.  She hoped someone was alive to take care of the winsome youngster.  “Remember be very very quiet.”


     Taylie nodded her head and burrowed into the tree.  She had played hide and seek with her father before and was very good at it for one so young.   She pulled branches over her head, and was soon fast asleep.


     Time went on; the hairless man had left, the spell wore off.   And a tortured and wounded female elf lay on her childhood bed unable to move.   Tres had no tears left, no emotion left.  She was just tired, and refusing to allow herself to feel.    Hours, days, she had no idea how much time passed until one thought rose to Tres’ mind.    Taylie   “Taylie?”  She spoke out loud in a whisper.  “I must find her, if she’s still alive.”


     This time however she wouldn’t shout.  The man whoever he was might still be lingering.  She opened her mind and used her telepathic abilities to see if she could sense any beings near-by.  The house seemed empty.   She continued to lay still.  She was unsure if she could move or not.   She was bleeding from many places.   A moan escaped her lips as she struggled to sit up.   She wanted to cry mommy.   But her mother was dead in a nearby room.    She struggled all the way up.  “Must, move.”  She said out loud.  It made the silence around her deafening.


     Once Tres stood up she began to think a bit better.  She stumbled outside to the well and began to pump water.   Soon her face was clean, and her wounds purified of the bald man germs.     She needed bandages to wrap several spots.  She needed a healer for some of the others.    She had deep gashes from her neck down across her breasts.   She found some moss her family often used for healing and packed it tightly on these wounds.    It would stop the bleeding and keep things clean.


     These rituals completed her worries about her child could no longer be abated.  “Taylie?  Taylie?”  She called quietly, and then increasingly louder.  “TAYLIE?”   She was beginning to grow frantic praying that at least one member of her family was alive.   If she’d lost her child…she couldn’t and wouldn’t allow herself to go there, or to even contemplate the thought. 


     In the meantime Taylie had had a long nap.  She woke up confused as to where she was.  “Daddy?  Mommy?” she called under her bed of branches.   Daddy and mommy didn’t answer.  “DADDY?  MOMMY?  GRANDPA?  GRANDMA?  UNCLE SOREN?”  She called loudly.   And then she remembered.    She was supposed to be quiet.    Mommy was hurt, she was supposed to play hide and seek.     But the game had gone on so long, and nobody had come.   Taylie began to cry.   She wanted her mommy, she wanted her blanky, and she was hungry. 


     Small fae began to flit around her.   They could sense something was wrong, but were unable to communicate with the wee elf.    One fae dropped a couple big berries in front of the little girl.  Taylie grabbed them greedily and began to eat.   They were good.  “Tank you.”  She said politely as her parents had taught her.  “Do you know where my mommy is?”  She asked.  The fae just continued to swirl around and one dropped a couple more berries.  “Your no good, no help.”  The youngling said shaking her small finger at them.   The fae didn’t like the anger and quickly flew off looking for something else to entertain them, one of them snatching Taylie’s hair ribbon away as it went.   


     “MOMMY!”  The little girl screamed one last time.  And then just melted into silence.   There was no mommy, no daddy she was alone.


     Meanwhile Tres was beginning to come to the same conclusion.  There was no Taylie, no husband, no parents she was alone.


     And the same small fae came and danced around her.   One of the wee fae was flying around in the air doing air acrobatics with a swirling blue ribbon.    Tres was not impressed with the company.  “Go away, leave me alone.”  She said angrily.   The fae continued to prance around.   The small one with the ribbon began to swirl the ribbon around Tres’ face.   Tres stared at it.  “That, that’s, my daughters.”  She said.   The fae began to bounce up in down with excitement.     “Give that to me!”  She demanded fiercely.   The fae darted out of the blonde elves reach.    Tres darted after her as quickly as her wounds would allow her to.  “Come back with that, its mine!” 


     The fae continued to dance staying just out of the elves reach, and leading Tres consistently closer to Taylie.   Tres was distraught enough that she didn’t realize what the fae were doing.  Instead all she could see or hear was the grief of losing all of her family except her brother who was currently traveling some unheard of place.  


     And then all of a sudden there in front of her was Taylie.  “TAYLIE!”  Tres cried out with joy.  “Oh, baby, your okay.”  She said sweeping her daughter up in her arms and rocking her to herself.  Taylie just held onto her mother for dear life.  “Mommy, you was losted.”  She said touching her mommy's tears.  “Don’t do that again.”  She said sternly.


     Tres stared at her daughter with grief in her eyes.    It wasn’t safe here.  They couldn’t stay.   She only knew the world her brother had gone to, not the actual place.  And any minute the bald man and his lapdogs could return.    “Baby, we’re going to need to leave soon.”  She said thinking out loud.    “Mommy didn’t want to be lost, I would have much rather been with you.”  


     Tres couldn’t think of the nightmares she would have for the rest of the life, she just needed to assure hers and her daughter’s safety.  “First, first we need to say goodbye to grandma and grandpa and daddy.    They have moved on.”  She said hesitatingly searching for words to explain why the permanent fixtures in her daughter’s life were gone.  She had none.   “Sweetie, stay here for a bit, your safe here, mommy will be back.”   Taylie nodded her head without truly understanding and longed for her blanky and her daddy in that order. 


     Tres quickly shifted into her other form that of a golden dragon.   She then made her way above the trees and over the house that had been her home all of her life.    She opened the bellows of fire in her lungs and began to torch the house.  She had no time to bury her family, so instead she would give them burial by fire.  In a moment of weakness she thought of hers and her daughters clothing, their special treasures, but shook her head and continued to flame.   Things could be replaced, people could not.   She had to run, she had to find her brother. 


     As the flames began to incinerate her house she heard the sound of someone coming.   Panic mode set in she couldn’t be found.   The magic that had been used against her was powerful.   She had to flee. She had to run.   If she had only stopped and looked around she would have noticed her brother coming back home.    Instead she panicked and ran.  


     Her brother Soren was standing there not understanding.   He was returning home with his bride.  From his eyes it appeared his sister the golden dragon had lost her sanity and scorched his parents while they slept in their house.  He burned with anger, and swore vengeance on his sister.   “I will find her, and find out why.”  He screamed with grief.  “I will never become her, a dragon, capable of killing my own family.”  He said as tears poured down his face. 


     Tres remained oblivious to this drama.  She landed quickly beside her daughter snatching her up in her dragon claws as she had many other times and flying fast and far away.   She had to find Soren; she had to find help.    The only piece of information she had about where he went was it was a planet named Terra.   She had no idea how big that planet was, but it was a start.   She opened a portal and flew in her daughter still tight in her grasp. 


     The place she found was cold.   The wind was blowing in a fierce gale.   Snow and ice whipped around.  Hold on Taylie; Tres sent telepathically to her daughter.   It was a barren place, a few shrubby trees no obvious houses.   Tres shuddered with cold and with fear.   She couldn’t believe this was where her brother had gone.  But her wounds were catching up with her, even in another form.  She had to rest, she had to have a save haven for Taylie.     She was fading fast.    The strength to open another portal wasn’t in her.


     She landed hard on the ground just barely avoiding hurting Taylie as she did.  A moment later Tres lapsed into unconsciousness returning as she did to her elven form. 


     Taylie was crying again.   It had been a long day she hadn’t eaten anything except those few berries, and now her mommy was not talking to her.    She decided she had, had enough.  It was time to go for help.   The cold was daunting and she wasn’t wearing a coat.  It had been mid-summer at home.   If the fates had been against her she would have been dead in minutes.   Fortunately for her however a barn was close by and she quite literally bumped into it.  She made her way to the door and walked inside.   “Soo-ee-ad.”  She said trying to imitate her parents Suliad.   “Soo-ee—ad?”  She called out again.


     A farmer who had been quietly milking his one cow jumped startled at the sound of the small voice.   He soon found the maker of the small sound.  “Hello, where did you come from?”  He asked gently.   Taylie smiled, she had found a nice man.    But she didn’t understand any of his words.  He spoke a language she had never heard.    She tried to tell about her mother needing help.  She babbled on and on.  But the man just shook his head in puzzlement.  “Your going to freeze out here, where’s your parents?  You sure are a long way from nowhere for such a tiny little half pint.”  He said talking on unsure what to do with the wee one.  “Let’s get you inside and warmed up.”   Taylie was safe and cared for.   As the weeks went by she would wake up screaming from a nightmare.   The people she would come to know, as parents would comfort her, and sing her back to sleep.  The nightmare would fade and she would forget that she had come from another world.  She would forget how her mother had saved her.  The only thing she would have was a small ruby necklace she wore around her neck.  It was a gift from her recently deceased biological grandmother.   


     Tres in the meantime wafted in and out of unconsciousness.  She only stayed alive because of the hearty nature of her elven self.   When she finally came to enough to begin to seek help she could remember nothing of whom she was, or how she’d gotten there.   She had no recollection of family, no recollection of home, no recollection of her magic.    She stumbled in the opposite direction her daughter had gone.   Eventually her walking led her to an empty highway, where a not-so-nice trucker picked her up.   The terror of a new life with no hope began. 


     And thus began two new lives.  One would live a life of terror, the other a life of comfort.   Do the two find each other?   The answer for that is for another day.  


     


     


     


     

  • Good morning


    Zeria is rather proud of herself.  She sent her first e-mail last night.   And now is fully intrigued by what goes on online.  IN fact both Sam and Zeria are leaning over trying to decipher what I'm writing.  


    Sam is getting good.  LOL       Maybe I'll get her inspired to read on her own one way or another.  *giggles*   Now she's sounding out r-a-th-e-r.   *sniggers*


    Then again maybe not...she got mad that she couldn't get rather on the first try and wandered off.  *sigh*


    She just doesn't want to work for reading.  If its a "easy" word she'll do it and read right along.  But the first time she stumbles she's done.  Such a frustrating personality trait. 


    I'm rather at loose ends at the moment.  The housework is caught up, and I don't have anything I *have* to do today.  So I'm staring around the house trying to decide what will happen.    I could scrapbook, or well we shall see.    Its rather an amazing concept to not have anything I *have* to do......


    Mischief, looks for mischief. 


    Have  you seen mischief anywhere????


    Oh...and if a couple people are intrested in my short story I might put it up here...but first someone has to poke or ask.  LOL


     

  • Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  quiet.


    Well relatively so.  Screaming Jeremiah screamed himself to sleep.   After scratching much skin off my neck.   Man that kid has a grip for being all of 3 months old.  (OUCHY!)


    Boys haven't thump, thumped thumped across the upstairs floor in a good five minutes.


    And I've only heard Rainee's sing-song voice once in the last ten.


    It may actually be bedtime.


    Watches the mommy run around in circles doing a happy dance.


    Okay...in reality I'm so tired I couldn't happy dance if someone offered me a million dollars. 


    But I survived.  *grin*


    I'm not going to upload the dedication pictures....their not very good.  I will put a couple in Jeremiah's baby book, just so he knows we did it...but oy are they disappointing.    I think I like my old camera better then my new one.  *sigh* 


    I think from now on for indoor pictures I'm going back to my 3.2 pixel camera it just seems to do better.  Oh well.


    I'm having MAJOR carb cravings.  *sigh*   Resists the urge to binge....just barely.


    I wrote a short-story today.  Going to have my husband read it tonight or tomorrow and tell me what he thinks.  If he likes it I *might* enter it on the boards short-story contest....if I'm not too chicken.  I never win, but its a good exercise right? 


    Is it a bad thing when you re-read a sentence four times and your quite convinced its a complete sentence, but you grammer checker tells you it isn't????     I think I need to retake grammer 101.  *growls*


    But then we won't discuss the paragraph long run-on sentence in one of the Harry Potter books I found the other day.  Grammer is *highly* overrated.  LOL


     

  • growls....


    Its the day after a long weekend of six children being spoiled by grandma and grandpa.


    As a result.


    They refuse to entertain themselves.   Or go play.


    I'm so tempted to load them up somewhere, anywhere and entertain them more...which will of course only make this drudgery last longer. 


    It has the potential for being a long day for all of us.


    Of course the fact that I'd love a long nap isn't helping any.  *yawns*


    I can do this.  Yup, yup, yup.  I can.


    orrrrrrrrrr I could go insane.

  • good evening.


    In-laws have come and gone.  It was a good visit, nothing majorly significant.  Just a time for Rob and the kiddos to reconnect.  


    We did go on a nice walk yesterday, and found a tree house that we didn't know about.  The kids are in love.  LOL   So we'll have to go back.   We have neighbours next door to us with about 80 acres.   They've given us free access to it.  They own it, but no house on it.  Its full of trails, and every corner has something new.   This is how we could *find* a tree house.  *grin*


    The trails are still in winter lack-of-repair thanks to the major snow storm we had.  But it was a fun adventure regardless.   And nice that we didn't have to drive for it. 


    The kids ran around climbing many trees, and using the various country swings.   It was good to let the monkeys out of their cages for awhile.  LOL


     


    I'm of course incredibly tired tonight, but thats okay.  Their gone I can recover.  LOL 


    And I have a new favorite picture.  This one is just...wonderful.    


            


    Tis Grampa & Jamari checking out one of the swings.  *grin*


    Grandma had much fun playing with Jeremiah, and was quite frustrated that he'd only smile...when her camera was not out.  LOL   She tried and tried to get a picture of his smiling, but the second the camera appeared his smile disappeared. 


    Funny, I could have told her that...I have two pictures of him half smiling.  I just can't catch his ear to ear beaming one.  Its a fleeting thing he apparently does *not* want captured. 


            


    We did Jeremiah's baby dedication this morning.  And I hope to share a picture or three of it tomorrow.  But haven't got them uploaded, and I *know* they'll need some editing as they appear to be a bit dark.  Man I'm glad digital pictures can be altered.  *grin*


    My parents came for the dedication too, and the pastor included both sets of grandparents in the dedication process.   I love it that he does that, it makes it feel so much more significant.   When my grandma was still going to church he included her too.   Very cool to have that many generations committed to raising a godly child.


    Our SS department is starting a brand new curriculum.  I'm extremely excited about it.  Its called Faithweavers.   And has EVERYONE using the same lesson.     And worksheets for the parents to act upon the lesson each day of the week.      It looks very good.       Rob is planning on using the daily lessons as part of the morning Bible ritual.  Its fun to see family interactive worship.   


    Oh, and the lesson this morning was the Good Samaritan.  The "craft" for the 2s and 3s was delightful.   They had a picture of the hurt samaritan.  And they had to put vaselline on his boo-boos.  Cover it with a band-aide.  And give him some play money which they taped onto the picture.    Too cute, and sooooooo hands on.


    And that's life from this house.  Have a great weekend all. 

  • Good morning.


    Didn't precisely get my walk yesterday.   Had too much to do in town, and then Rob had to sleep.  So I bundled all the kiddos up and took them.  It was exercise...of a sort.    Excercise of patience.   *giggles*  Jeremiah decided he didn't want to be in the bike trailer/jogger.   Oh yes Tracie I have a picture of it for you now...... So we stopped at the creek and I let them wade in it instead while I nursed Jeremiah.  Probably we could have gone forward after that, but the kids were of course wet, so we headed home.  It was fun, and I enjoyed being with my kids, so I don't begrudge my walk.  Although I REALLY, don't wish to get into the habit of missing it.  This is the first time I've missed it in 3 months, so I think I'm safe.  


    Okay pictures of said walk.  *grin*  I took umm 25?  ROFL   But I have 3 to show you.   And I played with them...I hadn't fooled around with editing in awhile.


                


    That's the bike trailer...to use it as a bike trailer you take the jogger handle off and fasten the handle by the front wheel to the back wheel of the bike.   I'll take pictures of that the next time we go......


              


    And there they are in the creek.  Its just a wee creek, but big enough that we see fish in it fairly regularly.   It was warm yesterday...but not really warm enough to go wading.  But as their kids of course that point never actually came up.  LOL


    Hmm that was weird, I just reloaded the same picture.    If it does it again...it will only be two pictures LOL  My in-laws are coming in for the weekend, and we're on keep the house semi-clean so we don't scare them mode.  *giggles*


    Actually its been relatively clean, so hasn't been too scarey to catch up.  I *did* do some extra thingys, but nothing too much.   Now I'm going to run into town and pick up Papa Murphy's for dinner (seeings we're missing date night, and bagette's and salad stuffys for dinner tomorrow night. 


                              


    Its amazing how calm I am about the whole thing....considering how poorly I dealed with my 'ils in the past.   Hopefully things stay calm, and the relationships I built continue to grow instead of struggle.


    Other then that have a great weekend.  And come see my picys. 


     

  • You know your threat was *HIGHLY* effective about going to bed when you hear them giggling on the way up the stairs.....


     


     

  • I want this tape.  http://www.brentwoodbenson.com/store/media/IAmAPromise_IAmAPromise.wma


    I do *honest*  It was my all time favorite kids cassette for YEEEEEEEEEEEEARS.    I found this "musical" with it in....and will probably get that, but I'd rather the original Bill Gaither Kids I am a Promise. 


    The words are just so good...and so applicable even today.


    I am a Promise.


    I am a Possibility.


    I am a Promise with a capital P.


    I can be anything, anything God wants me to be.


    Its a message everyone needs...all the time.   Even when doors are closing, we still have promise.


    Goes to search for the tape some more.......

  • Good morning. 


    I have several blogs I have to get out and work through today.  But first a fun one. 


    Kids have been keeping busy.  And life is moving on.  They were ecstatic to get back to church on Sunday and did a reasonably good job of staying in the sanctuary.


    Our pastor will be retiring April 27th.  I think it will actually be a good time for our church.   The last time we were without a pastor was the best time our church had in 20 years.  It forced the leadership to lead rather then to rely on the pastor.   Already one exciting thing is happening and that is a revamping of the Sunday School.  They are going to go to a joint sunday school in the summer encouraging familys to learn together.  If it happens it should be fun. 


    On a Sunday note...this is gonna be a favorite picture.  Because hasn't every little girl who had a foo-foo dress done this???? 


                 


    You can dress 'em up...but you can't make 'em act like a lady.  *giggles*


    And Rainee and Jeremiah's favorite time of the day.  They both just love to lay on the floor together.  Rainee gets soooo excited when she realizes mom has laid brother down. 


               


    So thats the light hearted blog.   I'll do a deeper one later.  About stuffs I'm learning.


    Oh yes,  got poked last night about some mythos stuffies.  It was a good poke, and I tweaked some things.   Made me put some thoughts concrete that I'd been writing rather half-hazardly.      I was greatful I was in just the right mood to deal with it rather then be defensive...which I do all too well.      


    Does this mean I'm maturing??? nah that would just be sure accident.  ROFl