September 17, 2004

  • Decisions;


    I was in so much pain this morning due to contractions I couldn't make the decision to take pain killer.


    How's that for a quandry.  The reason being of course.  I know that theoretically ibuprofen is safe.  It *is* a labor-slowing drug.  But who knows what its going to prove to cause to newborns tomorrow, or the next day.


    And I have a child with significant birth defects.  Did I cause that?


    So I sucked up the pain until I was in tears.  And finally asked Rob to make the decision for me.  He handed me the ibuprofen.   He doesn't like watching pain.


    Lets just say I was an emotional pregnant mommy and leave it at that.  Most of the time I can push aside Rainee's birth, and 18 months afterwards of hell away.     But sometimes the monster lurks up in the shadows trying to rule my life.     I can't and won't live in fear.


    God gave me this life.  And if its another Rainee.....may he or she smile so broadly, and be as entertaining as he or she's big sister.  


    And in the meantime I can't cry for the next 6 weeks.   And I will be if I have to deal with the pain.  I have to function as a parent.  


    And someone please remind me of this blog when the decision is made after the baby is born for my husband to get the V.  ROFL


    Its always so easy to say I'm done having babies when I'm preggers.  But afterwards....afterwards I start craving a baby pretty dang quickly. 


    My midwifes will both be purposefully attending this birth.   They wish to prevent the whole drama of calling the ER doctor up to stop my hemoraghing.


    I hemoraghed with Kaylin as well...but it was shift change and Debbie wanted to stay and see the baby born as I was pushing.  So when I began to hemorage they were both there.


    Rainee was born at 11:19 at night.   Mary was on her own, and it sucked rather badly to say the least. 


    So they are planning to purposely do this birth together...it will be the first time in their three years of working together they've done this.  LOL


    Of course...its me. 


    Mary asked if she could put my birth up as a request for her prayer group.   That was a easy answer. 


    On that note.  Mary has said I'm not allowed to have the baby the 6th of November as her son is getting married then.   Debbie has said I'm not allowed to have it on the 18th as thats'  her birthday.   So there ya have it 7th-17th is safe.  ROFL


    Oh God please don't let me go overdue......I haven't yet.  PLEEEEEEEASE!!!!!


    And thats the meanderings from a officially insane pregant lady.....

Comments (6)

  • Hehehe, good ramblings though...

    I remember 2 days after Caleb was born and I was still in the hospital waiting for him to be released, I ran into one of my OB doctors (military--you get to know a few. LOL) and she asked how things went and if I was ready for another one.  I told her now is NOT the time to ask. ROFL  It wasn't the most fun experience and at that moment I was already done eventhough he was my first.   I will say my non-military births went soooo much better. hehehe

  • take care you.  As my pregnancy progressed I slowly let go the horror of Devon's birth.  Let it go.  The panic subsides.  I promise.

  • Hugs

    After watching my friend attempt a natural home birth today, I admire all you mothers who can do that. You have to do whats best for you. It can't be good for the baby or the other kids (or Rob for that matter) to have you in so much pain. I'm still praying for you and I hope things get better.

  • You take care of yourself. I worry about you. Know that you are being thought of often.

  • I am praying for you.. Annaleah was also born with a small birth defect (cleft palate) and as I have been struggling to get pregnant again.. the fear still keeps coming back that I did something.. but you know what.. I then remember that it is all in the Lord's hand.  Trust in Him.. I am praying that your pain goes away. 

  • :heartbeat: I hope things get better for you!!!! :sunny:

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