May 20, 2004
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Soooooooo a wee bit of a parenting dilema. And I'm desperately trying to decide how to proceed.
Zeria came to me this afternoon to discuss something that happened in SS. Its Thursday. So I'm not sure if it means she was upset and hid it...or was bored and wanted something to talk about.
I'm still fishing for details and will be talking to my niece who is a year and a half older then Zeria and rather close to 18 in terms of emotional development. *snicker* Their not home yet...so waiting on the conclusion of the story.
A new girl in SS (8 or 9?) whose mom seems to be very sweet. And enabled my biracial brother to get a good after-school job. (see nice LOL) Anyhow she says. "My sister doesn't like black people." Which Zeria was of course sad about. And then apparently grabbed a piece of white chalk and tried to change their color for them so they'd be white. (White being better of course).
Apparently this happened in opening. Where the teacher was I'm not entirely sure.....
Andria's response to Zeria was. "She's not very nice 'cause she doesn't have Jesus in her heart yet." Andria's smart. *grin*
Sooooooo do I go parental (after confirming story with my niece) and talk to the mom or the teacher. Or wait for something similar to happen? Or drop it?
I don't want to be over-protective. But I also want my kids to feel safe and proud of their color and their heritage.
HELP?
Comments (5)
i would def talk to your neice. than i would def talk to the teacher, and the kids mom.
Tonia, my vote would be to address this with someone. The reason is because, at the very least, interactions with this little girl needs to be more closely monitored. I'm so sorry this hurt Zeria.. please give her a ((((big hug)))) from me and tell her I think she's absolutely WONDERFUL!!!
I would speak to the teacher, explain the situation as you know it. She can use it as a teaching opportunity. Maybe offer to bring in some books that she can read to the class. I know as a SS teacher I would want to know so I could use it as a learning opportunity. Maybe suggest that she send home a generic letter to parents telling them that she is dealing with this issue, asking them to further discuss it at home. If you think you can approach the mom directly in a good way, then I'd do that too. I have a child with special needs and know that I would talk to any parent of a child who made unfeeling comments - using it as a tool to educate.
:sunny: I think Kit's advice is wise. I would take the "I just thought I'd let you know that Zeria was a bit sad during the week..." angle... It's sad that she's had to face this sort of thing, especially at SS... but Kit is right... it's a good teaching point for the teacher to take up! I'll be praying about it!
You know, it's funny, we had a similar discussion on another board where someone's child said something less than desirable about another little kid like what happened here. When the parent found out, she was horrified! She had no idea her child had picked up such an idea and didn't know where from. I would address it with someone, but I wouldn't get too freaked out about it--yet. It is possible the child really is just repeating something not understanding how offensive it could be taken. Just like kids say other mean things just to be mean, whether it's racial or not.
Now if this kid's parents actually agree with the statement or don't see anything wrong with it, well than that's an entirely different story... Although I do wonder why the teacher didn't hear and address it in class? That could be part of the problem.
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