So today was a lazy day...it seemed like, and yet we did get stuffers done.

Rob got a clean teeth check-up...and they are.  *growls*  Dentist told him he didn't need to come back for 5 years. 

Its just not fair.  *big whine*

Kids and I played at McD's.  Just a wee bit chilly at the time we were out and about.

We also went and bought daddy a little pedometer for jogging.  This is my oh-so-romantic Valentines Day present. 

And then after daddy was done the dentist we headed to the BAgel shop...for which Zeria still won't forgive us.  "She doesn't like Bagels".  WAAAAAAAAAAA (sympathy ooozes for her)

Daddy's real present was a chain for his chain saw.  It was one of those errands he's put off for months.  So for the last hour he's been out playing with it.  He LIKES his saw.  *giggles*  Manly stuff ya know.    The day he bought it was all rather hysterical.   He came out beaming like a little boy who just got his first bee-bee gun.   

And mommy's valentines day present?  3 orchard trees.   We bought one of those 3 for one trees.  Which has Rainier cherries on it, the breeder for those, and one other brand.     We LOVE Rainier cheeries.     Also picked out a yellow plum tree (can't remember its "official" name.  And a nectarine.    The nectarine is rather an experiment...I've never heard of anybody growing them here...but the lady at the store...who is really good at what she does my parents have been buying from her for 35 years LOL said that people have been growing them.  So we'll see.

And we planted them.  And its just so exciting somehow.  *grin*  We haven't put money into landscaping in this house yet...just been too busy with kids.  And we would have loved to do more trees...at least 3 more...but decided we'll get these ones situated and try for 3 more next year. 

DH will probably get me some other little thing...but I'm just tickled with my trees.   Can't wait to watch them grow....and told Zeria Lord willing she'll be eating fruit off them until she's 18. 

I'd show you a picture...grin....but right now their just little stick things...well not that little about as tall as I am...but rather pathetic looking anyhow.   Maybe when they bud out. 

Oh speaking of which still need to prune them.....

Morning!

Its gorgeous again today.  And hubby doesn't have to work 'til Monday. 

This morning is dedicated to the dentist....Rob's turn this time.  The kids and I are hoping to go to the Dream Park....its clear we'll just have to bundle up well so we don't freeze to death.

Two wake ups from Zeria last night.  *growl*  But other then that a quiet night.   Well that and the bizarre dreams I've been having recently. 

Feeling a wee bit less emotional today.....

Will surf the boards for a bit, and then get 5 kids in town clothes.  hahahahahahahaha

Sooooooooooooooooo anybody curious what Rilya looks like?

Here she is...in a year or two.  *grin*

OOPs....forgot to fix her eye color...must do that.  *grin*

Admire until then. hehehehe

Okies...

I'm here.

My husband sent me back to bed as I was so icky.  Aleeve is working now.   So now I have that clouded over feeling instead.

Stares at blank computer screen.  All thoughts in my head are so jumbled I can't even think as to where to begin.

Okies....the period.  I'm suprised to find out I actually WANTED to be pregnant.  This is rather amazing considering up until now it rather terrified me to do it again.   So, I was more upset about that then I thought possible.   And its all rather silly considering I have 5 kids huh?  Apparently...I'm a sucker for kids.

Toddlers...Rainee is just going around getting hurt.  Its terrifying me much more then any of the other kids.   Of course the whole broken leg thing.  And then some rather terrifying holes in her head.  And this morning she tipped her high chair over and banged her head.     Lets just say accident waiting to happen...and my rainee-hoverness-thingy is kicking in.

Energy...I have none.   And every time I push a bit too far like Saturday when I burned...for the next six days I'm a walking zombie in severe pain.    Its not worth it.    The words chronic fatigue are being thrown out in this house more and more often.   I've passed all the other possibilities in medical tests.

Pats my saintly husband.  He did all the laundry yesterday.   We've reached some kind of order...especially with someone coming in doing the heavy cleaning.    I keep the laundry turned around.  And fold as I can.  He catches up the rest of the folding on Wednesdays.  This makes for a few wrinkles but it works.   

Yesterday he folded 9 loads.  Definitely a saint.  And let me cry...even more saintly.   Crying is therapeutic.  *grin*

Destructive...oy is that girl destructive...right now she's experimenting with the on & off button of the computer printer.  EArlier she got into the corn meal and was using it like a sand pile.  She likes to "open" any mail on my desk.  Last week she ripped a 1,000 check I had put up here for safe keeping.   Yeup...she's a toddler.   

Temper...she has one.  You take one of her toys away from her...ya know the things that belong to someone else...or to mommy.  She screams at you and stomps her feet.  The stomping of the feet is actually rather hysterical.   Its all I can do not to laugh at her.  Fortunately for now she turns it off really quickly.   So I just ignore...and go find a place to laugh.

Opinion...oh my goodness.  I was drinking a pop yesterday.  Something she shares sometimes.  She looked at it and said MINE.  It wasn't.    Stink

Oy....I just looked in the mirror. 

That was sccccccarey.

musn't do that again anytime soon.

4,000 extra dollars in our back account right now thanks to our income tax return.  I'd love to ditch the kids at my parents and go to Hawaii for a week...that would be extremely irresponsible wouldn't it???

Morning

Its a new day.

so as days go this one went.

The best part of it was probably sobbing on my husbands shoulder just before Awana.

After sending some rather distorted thought in IM to Emma.  And deleting a post that really had nothing to do with the tears.

Gotta love my period. 

Basically I had a pity party.  

Over what?  The fact that I wasn't strong enough for someone who needed a friend.

That I'm just plain not strong enough.

That although life is getting more organized I'm not getting healthy.

I just feel weepy k?  I'm female I can be that way.

Pass the chocolate!  LOTS of it.     I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed it.

On the upside I found a "treasure" at Goodwill today.  My favoritest kinda book.  Its written in the 50's.  Based on the true story of a engineers wife caught in the philipino's during World War II.  I love history told from the perspective of "real" people.  NOt the military, political mukiety muks.  Just normal people caught in horrific situations.  If I could write a book that is what I would love it to be....

Even have the access to some fascinating journals about a man  during World War I Logging to provide spruce for the airplanes.  Oh to dream of writing that story....

To dream must remember to dream. 

Well crap.

Yup crap.

I feel like it...and crap.

So, yesterday I made a decision that I couldn't handle something anymore.

It had made my online time increasingly unenjoyable.  And I didn't know what to do about it.   So I stood up for myself...

And it feels like CRAP.

And no Emma this isn't about GH.  LOL  Thats rather an intriguing conversation...thats making me think HARD. 

Ever since I was little I have stood up for the under dog.   It is in the deep core of my making.   I got a fat lip oh in the third grade defending the boy nobody liked.   This has happened frequently in my life.  Getting hurt to defend someone else.  Catherine my role-playing character comes from me.

And yup sometimes I get in things that are way too much for me, but I still stand there trying to help.  But now that I'm a mom of five little ones.  And have fragile health, and a child with fragile health I've chickened out of those kind of roles more and more.

But crap.  this one snuck up on me.   And I tried valiently to do it.

I can't anymore.

I can't.

I'm not strong enough.  I can be a quiet friend.  I can laugh, I can cry.  But I can't counsel. 

Does this make me weak?  Or realistic. 

*yawns*   Well my visitor showed up...so not sure why I've been so miserable all month.  *shrugs*  And she was two days early...GROWL

Had another family disaster yesterday.  Involving a 2 foot piece of wood with nails in it.  *shudders*   God protected Rainee lets just leave it there.    And we've officially reached the terrible toddlers with her.    My kids have always been so gentle with her...but now she's a monster....and their not sure how to handle that.    This too shall pass!  It has to. 

My housekeeper will come tomorrow instead of thursday.  And I *should* be grocery shopping today.  But I'm living on painkillers just to survive....so I'll do it tomorrow when I can leave kids with dh.

Played with siggys again.  *grin* 

The avatar I chose is HARD to find pictures for.....keep contemplating a switch...but haven't found anyone worthy yet.  LOL

Anybody want a almost 2 year old? 

And something to snicker about this evening.  Twas a lovely weekend.  Blue sky, crisp, cold air.  And relaxing.   Got quite a lot burned yesterday...including a small spot on my thigh...and a larger one on my wrist..*snicker*

Today was church and then a babysitter for a quick date. 

And tonight we went to church to hear these guys  they were wonderful.   And on our way to church we drove past the beach just as the sun was setting OOO La la!

Anyhow the weekend was awesome just cause.    

I got to burn.    Its very therapeutic for me.    We have a huge pile still burning, and our yard is much better.  Stilll more work to do...but we got tired.  And knew when to stop.

So now we're watching Roy Rogers Trail of Rob Hood.  Mari LOVES Roy Rogers. 

Other then that life has been quiet....except for my fine blinkie that I made...okies I know I'm prejudice.