February 11, 2004

  • Well crap.


    Yup crap.


    I feel like it...and crap.


    So, yesterday I made a decision that I couldn't handle something anymore.


    It had made my online time increasingly unenjoyable.  And I didn't know what to do about it.   So I stood up for myself...


    And it feels like CRAP.


    And no Emma this isn't about GH.  LOL  Thats rather an intriguing conversation...thats making me think HARD. 


    Ever since I was little I have stood up for the under dog.   It is in the deep core of my making.   I got a fat lip oh in the third grade defending the boy nobody liked.   This has happened frequently in my life.  Getting hurt to defend someone else.  Catherine my role-playing character comes from me.


    And yup sometimes I get in things that are way too much for me, but I still stand there trying to help.  But now that I'm a mom of five little ones.  And have fragile health, and a child with fragile health I've chickened out of those kind of roles more and more.


    But crap.  this one snuck up on me.   And I tried valiently to do it.


    I can't anymore.


    I can't.


    I'm not strong enough.  I can be a quiet friend.  I can laugh, I can cry.  But I can't counsel. 


    Does this make me weak?  Or realistic. 

Comments (6)

  • :cry:   I can relate... ::sigh:: I don't know the details, but sometimes, there is nothing wrong with being realistic or weak.  Jesus will stand in the gap.  (((HUGS))) for your hurt. :heartbeat:

  • "Who's that? mommy, Who's that?"  Charlie's question about Rainee when I was trying to catch up on your site.  He thinks she is "coot" and he now wants ice cream too.  ROFL

  • (((((Huge Hugs))))) Been there, done that, totally agree with holding back!  Jesus is enough!

  • You are being realistic.  Sometimes the best thing we can do for someone is to be a silent supporter.

  • {{{hug}}}} realistic.

  • sweetie, you're giving all you have already.  Sometimes your'e jsut not ina  space to support others.  I'd say you'll be in that space in about 15 years!

    I think your survival intsinct is kicking in.

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