January 16, 2004

• Morning.

  
  

  Good news is my kids slept in.  Until 7:40.  It was actually rather terrifying.  The bigger ones who share two bedrooms are typically awake at oh 6:00 am, not allowed out of their rooms until 7, but its rather hard to sleep through their shenanigans.  (Picture 4 Alcarins in a room).  *sniggers*

  
  

  The bad news....Rainee had a bad, bad night.

  
  

  I have to set up a reverse baby monitor.  I will do that today.  If I can find the cords for my other one I'll use it, if not I WILL be going and buying another one.  I have a monitor for the upstairs kids, but I need one for Rainee's room.  I had her oxy set up and her monitor, but was out functioning in the other part of the house.   Typically at night she's been doing ok.  Reasonably stable on the oxygen.

  
  

  So as I headed to the bedroom for the night I heard the alarm going off.  I just shrugged and thought "Oh, Rainee's taken the probe off again."  (she doesn't like red lights on her toes.  )  I walked in my bedroom to realize that it wasn't no probe it was a bad read.  I stared at it consistently reading 88.   I've talked to EMT/Paramedics.  88 equals a quick run to the hospital for a patient.  Panic.      Now Rainee will dip to 88 and lower, but she doesn't usually stay there.

  
  

  I stared at it.  I went and triple checked the oxygen was still turned on and plugged in.  (technical things are always goin funky).   They were.  I stared at the numbers again. 

  
  

  I finally snuck into her room and rolled her over onto her back.  Because of her birth defects she doesn't breathe well on her stomache.  Actually she goes into ummm "accute respitory distress"  according to the pulminologist.

  
  

  I stared at the numbers.  They went up to 90....still NOT good.

  
  

  Then I called my husband.   He's at work, and really can't do anything, but their are just moments you need a spouse.   We talked about possibly waking Rainee.  And I was trying not to cry.   It sucks to know theirs something wrong with your child you know???  

  
  

  And as I'm talking to him it occured to me I hadn't checked her cannula IN her nose.  She's been leaving it so alone that I forgot and I'd seen it taped to her face when I flipped her over.

  
  

  I snuck into her room again leaving the phone ON on the bed DH waiting.   She had bumped one of the cannula prongs out of her nose.  I put it back in and the numbers went up.

  
  

  I cheered.  And then cried.

  
  

  Mommys shouldn't have to do this.  And I had some how deluded myself for a couple days that Rainee was gettin' better.

  
  

  The numbers however didn't go up to where she should be.  They went into the "ok" range, but not the "totally safe range."

  
  

  Zeria was in the hospital for four days because of the range that Rainee was at last night.  You know its the range that kills brain cells 'cause of lack of oxygen, but doesn't hurt the rest of your body...........

  
  

  93-94.  on 1.5 liters of oxygen.  

  
  

  Apparently she isn't getting better....

  
  

  I knew that.

  
  

  But I always hate to be slapped in the face with another reminder.

  
  

  Life goes on.  And I take a deep breathe and try to move with it. 

  • 11:12 am
  • 8 Comments