The birthday was fun....the zoo was freezing cold.

And I was once again reminded how poorly Rainee travels.  *sigh*

Rainee is beginning to take a step or two on her leg, but very cautiously.   The rest of the time she scoots.

The trip also reminded me of how tired I am these days.  I used to enjoy day trips.  Now I'm just dreading them.     Of course the screaming baby kind of helps this along. 

Oh and the overwhelming desire to kill my husband a good half of the day. 

He's kicking me out of the house this morning...

I need it.  *snicker*

But I had to post at Brendar Valley first.  Its an addiction.  And its for me.   I suppose that is selfish.  But I need something to do that isn't kid oriented some days. 

Okay I'm outa here before this blog turns into a whine fest......

So, I probably won't be online tomorrow...unless maybe a few minutes early in the morning...and a few late at night.

We're taking the kiddos to the zoo or the aquariaum depending on the weather.

Its Mari's birthday.  He'll be 3. 

And something sweet to stare at. 

Soooo it was a relatively quick visit.  The x-rays don't show it, but the doctor is "fairly comfortable that its broken"   Gotta love that phrasing.  *sniff*  missed Dr. W...this doctor just always gets on my grumpy side. 

He was good however.  And explained that very frequently toddler breaks don't show until later.  She has a mild bruise where she's been grabbing and it is swollen.  Putting that with the no bearing weight he said....it definitely was broken.

He offered a cast, but said it wouldn't protect anything and it would definitely slow her down even more.  So instead we're wrapping it well and preventing her from climbing for the next month.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okies got that outa my system.  She refigured out how to scoot finally so at least she is getting around.   And is quite nimble that way, and already climbing...she has 2 good arms and one good foot after all.

I forsee this being a VERY long month.

And yes I'm sick to my stomache.  And doing the whole guilt trip thing about "I shoulda watched her more carefully.  And suspect I will be crying soon...actually the crying would help......"

Its been a day. 

for those wondering.....she's still not walking or bearing weight, so we're off to more xrays at noon

Its clean.  Eyes my house and smiles big.  Oh its so nice to have it this clean again!  And she went above and beyond in several places.  MAJOR grin. 

Just as she was coming a major family incident was going down (details in a moment )  So a box of Christmas decorations that had gotten knocked down by Leopard the fierce kitten was laying on the laundry room floor.  I really wanted it swept in there.  But told her just to sweep around it, as I had to take care of the other issue. 

I came home to find she'd picked it all up and put it away.  *cheers*  Insentive, initiative and CLEANLINESS!!!  YEAH!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, so the bug was the major family incident.  *sigh*  Of course she was..she always is.  About ten minutes before Heather came one of the kiddos came inside to inform me Rainee had gotten hurt.  This is a normal occurence, somebody's always got a boo-boo.  A couple minutes later Zeria came in carrying her...she's a awesome big sis by the way.

I took her and she sobbed and sobbed.  I tried to nurse her and she didn't want it.  (NOT NORMaL)  LOL   So I got up and rocked her and she just clung to me.  I checked her out but no blood or obvious bumps.     I headed into the laundry room to get Kaylin clothes.  (she played in the hose AFTER being ready for town :-p)   And she just laid on my shoulder like she was asleep.

This concerned me a bit 'cause of concussion issues as I still wasn't sure where she'd gotten hurt.  (You try asking 4 kids how somebody got hurt, you'll get six different stories at the bear minimum )

Anyhow she wasn't crying and was mostly alert and Heather came shortly thereafter.  I loaded her up in the car seat and mostly forgot about it. 

At Walmart I got her out and put her down on the ground to let her walk into the store.  She whimpered and wouldn't stand.  I just figured she was sleepy....As the day drew on I began to realize she absolutely wouldn't put weight on her left leg.  *sigh*

She babied it for several hours.   If this was the Princess I would have assumed it wasn't serious.  But a 22 month old favoring a leg scares me.   So I decided to stop at my oh so wonderful pediatrician without an appointment.  I explained what was going on...and they walked me to the back immediately.   And after answering a few questions I got my favorite Dr. W.  *cheers*

They x-rayed it and it "appears" to be ok.  If she still won't bear weight on it in 24...we will do more xrays.  *sigh*

So I have a twenty-two-month old who can't/won't walk.

Paxil anyone?????

Morning. 

So the bestest news of yesterday was I finally have a housekeeper again.  She will be coming 2-3 hours a week to do the heavy cleaning.

Loud cheers!

On Sunday I heard a lady whom I've known since I was 13 say she baby sits her grandkids while her daughter cleans her brothers house.   My ears perked up a bit 'cause I've been looking ever since we fired the "nanny".   But then the conversation changed and I completely forgot.

So yesterday Cindy called me and was really hesitant.  "I was talking yesterday and noticed your eyes perk up when I said house cleaning, and my daughter is looking for work, and I told her I'd call you and if you were intrested...."  she didn't even get to finish the sentence *giggles*  I used to babysit her daughter.  *giggles*  And teach her in SS.  But now she's the new mommy of 2.  And has made some hard choices in her young life. 

The second I got off the phone with Cindy I was calling her daughter.  And today my house will get cleaned. *YEAH*  Cindy babysits the babies, and her daughter cleans.  It gives Heather a bit of spending money for herself...and *YEAH*

Happy dances all over the place.

So cold number 572 has hit our house.   It has hit Sam and Kaylin the hardest.  Rainee is *starting* to act like she's getting it today.  And yeup its a respitory cold.  *sigh*  Kaylin scared me yesterday...I kept looking at her saying you sound like Rainee.    But she's much better today.  Here's hoping all of Rainee's steroids keep her safe.   I mean after all its been a whole 2.5 months since her last pneumonia.  (sarcasm rolls through)

So, now I just have to figure out what we're going to do while the house gets cleaned.    Parks in January are just ewww.  And I'm really not into McD's playland.  Keep contemplating whose house to crash with five kids....*snicker*

Maybe I'll go to Walmart instead.  Time will tell.....My house is gonna be CLEAN!!!!

Writing...

I've always written.  Journals, daydreams.   And a few stories.

The stories however I doubted myself in...mostly cause I showed them to my mother, and well her words were never encouraging.  She has a bad habit of saying that was good "but".  I never heard the good, only the but.

So, I stifled it.  And did a lot of journalling but not a lot else.

The last year of role-playing has been intriguing.  Its been a challenge.  The struggle to find my own-writing-identity.   To rediscover what morals I wanted to keep, and which I now felt were "off" or could be stretched a bit. 

The stretch to use new words, to grow my characters and the world I developed into something believable yet grounded into fantasy.

The first person willing to "play" with me was Misty.  *grin*   And from there as I've learned more and stretched myself into places and things I would have never thought I could write others have come to "play" with me.

I know I'm still not good enough to sale anything.  But  I'm slowly gaining confidence and finding my feet.  And today, I actually wrote something that when I was done I was proud of. 

Its the first time.  And you know what?  everybody else may think it was garbage...snicker.  But for me it was from the heart and a fascinating experience to watch a character I write become something above and beyond the box that I thought I'd put myself into.   Its fun to step out of the box.  

Its fun to be stretched.  And I'm so greatful to each of the writers who have played with me, and allowed me to find a side of myself that had gotten so stifled I didn't even know if I still had it....

The house is noisy again...

And of course my first reaction is wow you guys are noisy.

hehehehehe.

Oh and we've officially switched companies.....it was very quick.  Here's to hoping we get a pulse ox that works SOONEST!

Good morning.  Its quiet in my house....Deathly quiet.  All I can hear is the ceiling fans and the fridge.   Its all rather terrifying......

I woke up this morning to nobody in the house, and the van pulling out of the driveway.  I *think*  Rob went to deal with Apria and Linncare.

We have had a pulse oximeter probe on back order from Apria since September.  We pay (insurance and us together)  over $400 a month for the machine that runs this...and we've had a temperamental probe for months.  Its one of those things you should replace once a week or so.

Rob has called, multiple times and they keep saying its on back order etc.  Well for the last four days its been officially dying.  last night we declared it dead.  And we didn't sleep well as a result.  Both of us were worried about Rainee.....and about dealing with the idiots from Apria.   We've been "talking" for months about switching health care companies....but its always the "emergency" that actually makes you do it.....

I think thats where he is, to fill out transfer paperwork.

With five kids.

I wish he'd told me I would have kept them.  Pats poor hubby on head.   He deserve several medals for this little adventure.

And I find myself with a quiet house.  And after all the muttering about wanting quiet...

I find I hate it.

Its too quiet.