November 4, 2003

• So have lots of things I could blog about.  *giggles*  I could blog about ALL of my kids calling the frost outside frosting.  I told them that it was frost, which comes from the ground being cold.  And frosting was what you put on cake.  And then Zeria and I had a lovely pretend game of how cool it would be if the frost *was* frosting.

  
  

  I had a lovely chuckle over Jen's snow snakes.  Kids are great!  And most of the time they keep me laughing, of course except when their cutting up documents with their scissors.  *snort*  Speaking of which their weeks restriction from all craft projects is up.  Do I HAVE to return their stuff?  The house has been so less messy. 

  
  

  BUT, I'd like to go off on a different tangent.  I typed this up for a friend yesterday, and wanted to share it with everybody.

  
  

  When you feel like the stars have stopped shining,

  
  

  and the sun just can't reach where you are, 

  
  

  and when you're feeling afraid and forgotten

  
  

  like you're left all alone in the dark,

  
  

  its so easy to say there's a God up in heaven,

  
  

  but sometimes He's so hard to see.

  
  

  But yet I have found if we just learn to trust Him.

  
  

  He's got everything we could need.

  
  

   

  
  

  chorus;

  
  

  If we had God's eyes and could see to forever,

  
  

  we'd never have to struggle to believe.

  
  

  We'd understand why and in all of our questions,

  
  

  we'd know what the answers would be.

  
  

  But we have faith enough to know God is always in control

  
  

  when we can't see the forest for the trees. 

  
  

   

  
  

  There are times when we wait and we wonder

  
  

  and we question the sound of His call.

  
  

  In the silence we learn how to listen,

  
  

  and we find He's been there through it all.

  
  

  He's longing to lead us from where we are waiting.

  
  

  He wants us to reach out our hands.

  
  

  And with every step we're a little bit closer

  
  

  to all that the Father has planned. 

  
  

   

  
  

  chorus

  
  

  
  

  If we had God's eyes and could see to forever,

  
  

  we'd never have to struggle to believe.

  
  

  We'd understand why and in all of our questions,

  
  

  we'd know what the answers would be.

  
  

  But we have faith enough to know God is always in control

  
  

  when we can't see the forest for the trees. 

  
  

   

  
  

  I think only one person got What was the happiest day in my life question right.    Which suprised me.  I'm gonna have to go back in my archives and find a special blog about meeting my husband and our courtship.  LOL  But anyhow digressing again.  This song is one of the songs my children are singing in their childrens musical.  But the words are incredibly powerful.  So many times when we're buried in the depths of a struggle we can't see.  We can't see more then a step beyond us, and we're terrified of just taking that one step.

  
  

   

  
  

  In 1989 I left college.  I *thought* I was going home for two years of work, and then on to the mission field.  I had a friend I loved.  I *thought* God had told me someday we would marry.  It was rather hard to believe, as we lived 800 miles apart, and all we had was a rather plutonic letter writing friendship.  Life went on.  I made choices.  A lot of them were very lonely choices.  But I chose to honor God, not persue other men, and stay close to my family.  A lot of that period sucked.  BIG TIME.   My sanity during that time was my five new brothers and sisters.  I loved them, and we played together a lot.  I pretended I was their mom entirely too often.  And for many practical reasons I basically was.   I bought a house, I hated it, and moved back home.  I bought a second house closer to home, and in the community I loved.   (the house I still own)  I moved in, got my kids.  But life was so desperately lonely.  I had no soul mate, nobody to confide my joys, the giggles over the stupid things my kids did, and he smiles my babies made.   And nobody to hold me in the dark when I was scared.  No one to pick up the pieces when I was falling apart.   

  
  

   

  
  

  For ten years I was  alone except for God.  And I had to trust him that the direction he had pointed me was the right one.  And trust me I was quite convinced I was crazy to wait for Rob so long.     So were ALL my friends.  *giggles* 

  
  

   

  
  

  Two friends were actually praying that I find a husband.  They didn't know about Rob.  I kept my own community very much in the dark about Rob.  I just couldn't confide in the secret I held so deeply to my heart.  My college friends knew, but not my 'local' friends. 

  
  

   

  
  

  And then one day my friend called.  He'd kept himself pure, he'd waited, he'd even been almost engaged, but nothing had been right.  For ten years his mother had been praying for me.  And we'd only met once for less then 24 hours.    He'd visited my kids and I briefly and a week later he called to say, he'd researched Seattle, had a job interview, and wanted to move closer so he could see if we actually had something.   He got my answering machine.  *snicker*

  
  

   

  
  

  He essentially proposed to it.  ROFL   I called him back when I finally listened to my messages...and said yes.....to HIS answering machine!!!   We played telephone tag for three days before we actually talked in person.  He came up for the interview, found another place two places to interview, and took one of the three jobs.  He's a nurse, theirs a shortage, it's fairly easy to get work.    We talked on the phone 4 hours at a time long distance...our poor poor telephone bills.  And he moved up the first of December.  He proposed in reality a month later, and we were married by May. 

  
  

   

  
  

  He was my happiest moment of my life.  He fulfilled my loneliness.  And is the gentlest, most caring man I've ever met.  I'm constantly amazed at what he's willing to put up with, and how much he loves me.  I so don't deserve Him. 

  
  

   

  
  

  And for ten long lonely years I didn't think I was gonna get him.  But God saw through the trees in the forest, and said hang on your gonna make it.   And we did. 

  
  

   

  
  

  And our life may be hard, and we may be exhausted, but we know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God brought us here, and God can carry us through. 

  
  

   

  • 2:06 pm
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