and today Rainee's increasing her lung capacity, and learning all about a thing called lets see.....
The temper tantrum.
waaaaaaaa
Okay, who did what with my sweet baby over night. She's gotta stop screaming. And yep its temper. Cause as long as she's in my arms she's happy. I put her down on the ground and she SCCCCCCCCCCREAMS!
Gonna be a long, long, long, long day.
and she's nursin' again.
Okay I can do this.
Good afternoon 
Its been a day.
I went to breakfast at my favorite breaky place and had a delicious breakfast all by myself. And was oh so relaxing.
And I got up to pay the bill.
And well my debit card was missing and no check book.
NONE.
So I ran out to the van and looked, and looked, and looked.
I dumped the van garbage out, and looked in the glove compartment 500x.
And it wasn't there.
The last time I'd seen it was to get cash to go to McD's for lunch with the kids the day before.
So I had to go inside and apologize profusely and promise to be right back.
I eat there fairly frequently so the hostess was sweet, and said no worrys.
And then I had to run 20 minutes to home and 20 minutes back to pay for my oh so relaxing breaky.
GROWL GROWL GROWL
Life is never dull around here I guess.
Okay, so I c/p until my wrists hurt and my eyes were crossed. I very very carefully saved every 50 posts and e-mailed it to myself as well, so as I couldn't possibly loose anything. And I did. And I'm sorry. I'm officially 100% a idiot. Somehow the last 50 posts went bye-bye into some kinda never-never land. And of course by the time I discovered that I'd lost them off my computer, how I'm still not sure, they'd already been deleted off the board.
I'm sorry. I guess I'm inept. 
And now I'm tired and have the desire to cry.
Hey all. I'm still alive. In case anybody noticed I was missing.....
My internet provider booted me off saying I didn't pay. But I DID, and well we're in the process of changing providers 'cause this is the 4th time we've gone through this. *sigh*
I've had my e-mail addy from the provider so long it is gonna be one MAJOR pain in the patooty changing. I'm gonna change to a "bigger" e-mail one that doesn't matter who my provider is. Any suggestions as to who is better. Yahoo, msn, etc.
Kiddos have been quite delightful. And HD turned 5 yesterday while I was off line. 
He is having his party on Thursday, and was quite delightful yesterday. Well okay, he was a little boy totally excited about his birthday and barely sat still all day long ROFL. And bad me didn't take a single picture. I'll take them tomorrow at the squirt gun fight. 
I was trying to figure out how he went from being 3.5 months old and placed in my arms for the very first time to 5. I couldn't. LOL
I had a sad moment or two missing his babyhood, and then made myself remember ALL the terrible toddler things that he took me through and decided I wasn't that sad after all. 
Lets see, fires, finger painting in butter,cocoa, formula, flour. Emptying macaroni noodles everywhere. finger painting in poop. (EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWw) Lighting the house on fire, Every single birthday cake that's gone through this house has been "tested" by him before we actually got to eat it. The list is endless. ROFL and well we just don't need to go there. May he mature quickly. ROFL
Our Sweetie dog that we got to replace the dog we replaced. Anyhow is doing quite well, and seems to be a keeper. She heals off-leash without ever having been trained, and kept up with DH on his 6 mile masocistic jog. So he's in love.
I'm having a hard time catching up on the story boards, so be patient you guys posted way way too much while I was gone. ROFL.
And well my kiddos are back, and I can't concentrate so later dudes.
Oh and here's one from the archives to giggle over. My Handsome dude.
Good morning
Its 5:40 am. (EWWWWWWW) On a Saturday. (EWWWWW) What has the world come to.
Well I held Rainee Grace most of the night. And she woke up every 45 minutes or so all night long and then sucked on me for a good 15 each time, or flailed me with her arms. And this time when she *FINALLY* let me put her down and I could see sun, I decided I'd fought the war with the bed and the bed won. I couldn't take it any longer.
So a few minutes to myself, and my Dew.
The kiddos are upstairs singing, and its kinda purdy. But they are NOT coming down and disturbing my "quiet". I NEED a bit of quiet. LOL
So yesterday the kids came into the bedroom when I was getting ready to take a nap. And daddy started shoing them out. "Your mother needs a kid break." He said quite firmly. The two oldest started giggling. And HD said. "Mommy's a mother????" (picture incredulous voice here. DH of course gave him a strange look and said yes. So then the two oldest began to sing. "Mommy's a mother, mommy's a mother, mommy's a mother." HMMMM wondering where they've been for the last five years ROFL. OR scarier yet. Wondering what they think a *mother* is. *giggles*
I've been chatting online again. I'd forgotten how to turn AIM on. I'm enjoying it and enjoying getting to know new people.
But its also reminded me how hard it is to see the tone of voice that goes with the words. And the struggle to not be offended by something that would normally not offend you. I love the internet as a media voice, but it has such potential for hurt feelings as well. And that grieves me.
I'm watching two different internet relationships from the outside getting hurt badly. And its sad. And I've been there. And I have NO contact with the person I went through something similar with. I wonder so often how she's doing, and yet I burned one too many bridges. And at the time it seemed so right, and now I'm wondering why I did it. Maybe if I'd been more patient or kept my mouth shut more I could have made it work. I wish I had figured out how to make it work. Because the alternative of a severed friendship is really ICKY! I've learned now that very little of my beliefs in life are worth ending a friendship over. And I can agree to disagree much easier as a result. But I also know how quick and easy it is to decide you just can't take it any more, and that is so sad.
Okay moving on to less depressing subjects.
My walk with God has been shaky at best since Rainee's last diagnosis. Too busy, and too angry. But last night I finally TRUELY prayed and things are moving forward. He carried me for the last couple months, I know he did. And now maybe God and I can work on a relationship again, instead of me only bellowing when I was desperate.
My mom is taking my kiddos again today. Its the third weekend in a row. A HUGE part of me feels incredibly guilty as I'm "not able to take care of my own". The other part of me is too tired to argue with her. *sigh* I guess I'll do it this one last week, and then my sister should be available again, and I'll figure out where to go from there.
Father God, I'm sorry I left you out of my blogs for so long. I need to baby step back into a relationship with you. I ask for wisdom for this day, and for my children to enjoy their grandma today and not pick up bad habits from the "big" kids at her house. I lift up my friends pregnancy, and ask that her fears are unfounded. And I pray for me that I would get the sleep I need to function. In your sons name, Amen
Did you know that when you put a kiddy chair on top of a trunk, and then stand in said kiddy chair on top of said trunk that its very wobbly and your gonna get hurt?
Kaylin does now. Oy did she get a boo-boo. 
Mommy thought we were headed to the doctor for a minute. I haven't cleaned up that much messy boo-boo in a very long time.
Did you know when you catch your 13 month old making a big mess with your school supplies. And you ask your "Did you know your making a mess," and she gives you the worlds most gorgeous smile. Its impossible to get mad at her??
Good afternoon.
Kiddos are watching my new purchase. the Care Bear Movie. Its cute, its sappy, and my kiddos are enjoying it.
My laundry is mostly caught up thanks to my sister, and I's hard work. And the house is clean too. WOO HOO.
HD's birthday had to be changed. I set the party for Saturday not cluing in that it was Memorial Day weekend. Soooo had to change it as several kiddos weren't able to come. So got those phone calls taken care of. (I HATE making phone calls!!!!)
I had a good talk with a friend though, and her pregnancy isn't going well. So please pray for her. Her baby's rarely moving, and they've never gotten a good ultrasound of the babies legs. So she's scared. This is pregnancy number 6, so she KNOWS what a pregnancy should go like.
Oh Alicia. I'm sooooooooo ready to go play at the lake! And I'm also really ready for sunshine. Do you think you can order some???
My bird watching project has become great fun. And I'm starting to get the hang of it. I'm not the worlds greatest at observing small details, so this has been a challenge and a learning experience for me.
Go figure when I started doing this we saw a bird that we've never seen before. IT was GORGEOUS. Bright red head and bright yellow body. And I was gonna tell you the name of it, but I've forgotten, and can't find the bird book. Snicker. It apparently walked off on two little brown legs.
I feel like I've come out the depression of Rainee's last diagnosis. And we're starting to deal with this new hitch without the panic. It feels good.
Life moves on.
Update; I re-did Raineepixie. And I'm quite happy with it this time. I shrunk the rose as somebody suggested, and did some more alterations. Come see. This time I LIKE it!
All done. Its cute, and extremely different from my normal decorating, and well I hope you enjoy it. And that it doesn't take too long to load up for you. Speaking of loading up.
AnThaya, and PhotoQuilter, I'm not entirely rude, I've tried to visit your sites several times, but it takes about 15 minutes for me to upload your site. My slow dial-up does NOT like your music. I haven't had time or patience to upload as a result. I'm sorry.
So here's my pixie picture of Rainee, I'm not completely satisfied with it. Could you tell me whats not quite right? I'd appreciate some critiquing.
Was totally lazy today, we just hung around the house and changed laundry around.
Last night DH and I went on a drive on our date night. And went on a logging road that we'd been told had a good trail. Well the trail was okay. Extremely steep, and I finally petered out and we headed back to the van. Well the bumps we'd slogged over on the way down the hill were just fine. But on the way back up the hill OOPS we couldn't get over it. We started sliding backwards. We finally ended up in the bushes. (How romantic huh?) Soooooo us 30 somethings had to call my 57 year old logging father to bring his 4 wheel drive pick-up and pull us out.
I asked him when we were in our 50's if we were gonna still be rescuing our kids he just got a twinkle in his eye and said YES!
Rainee is sleeping a teensy bit better. And is pulling herself to a stand frequently.
Okay gotta go watch the Smallville season finale. I'm hooked on it!
