April 13, 2003

  • Sleep is highly over rated and I don't need it to live right?   Cause if I do need it, I'm in serious doo-doo.


    Rainee woke up about every 40 minutes last night, for reasons unknown to me.  I got two whole hours of interrupted sleep somewhere in the night~~is that good enough?


    How long can a body go without sleep before they go insane?


    I know nobody has the answer to that.  I wish I did.


    And WHINE!


    I'm struggling with greatful spirit.  I have little to be thankful for right now.  Okay thats not true, I have lots to be thankful for, but finding it in the midst of sleep exhaustion and worry, and alarms.  UGH.


    I HATE alarms.  Friday night was semi-funny, but it is getting old.  It takes us over an hour to get the alarms, oxygen and Rainee all asleep at the same time.  Usually with a couple false-alarms.  *sigh* 


    I was a bad mommy last night.  I had everything the way it should *I thought*  Rainee was asleep.  I laid her down in her crib, and both machines started alarming.  I bent down to adjust probes leaned on the crib and the crib leg broke.  The baby woke up, and mommy reached the nearest thing and threw it across the room.  It was tupperware fortunately, and didn't do any damage. 


    Oh, and then I cried.


    I'm human.  And I'm feeling quite breakable.  I deal with Rainee all night, and then have to get up and pretend like I have the energy to be a good mommy.  I don't anymore.


    For the next 2.5 weeks (after today)  Rob is off on "vacation"  maybe we'll get things into a routine in that time.  I so hope so, because I'm ready to throw those boxes of alarms out and do I don't know what. 


    Okay moving on off the vent.


    Swimming was fun last night.  Rainee LOVED it, and giggled and floated the whole hour.  She was a hoot.  Mari was scared of it, but he had fun in spite of his fear.  We will have a pool for 5 days of our vacation, so hopefully we can convince him water is fun.  He hasn't had near the time in the water as the other kiddos due to Rainee being born right after he came.


    I need prayer.  And wisdom.  I'd appreciate any I can get.  Thanks

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