April 6, 2003

  • Oh, Oh, guess what.  RAinee only woke up 2.5 times last night.  Thats a record for the last 3 months.  Now impossible would be her just plain not waking up all night long.  snicker.  But I'll settle for this much sleep.  the .5 btw is she woke up at 5:30.  But I'm not gonna count that one 'cause that's practically morning right?


    I've sunk to a new low if 2.5 half wake ups is a cool thing.  snicker


    Okay, in regards to my mood.  I have a couple things to share.


    A dear friend who long ago was my youth group leader, but now is just a friend stopped by gave me a hug, and dropped off 2 Papa Murphy's pizzas.    They btw were greatfully appreciated, we will have them for dinner tonight.  Last night we had frozen lasagna from the grocery store.  BTW its a purdy decent meal, and cheaper then eating out.  If people ask today how they can help~~I will tell them food is always appreciated.  Snicker. 


    Oh also btw if you have friends dealing with life imo meals are always a bonus, if you don't need them right now, you can always freeze them and rescue them when you do NEED food. 


    Okay back to my friend.  She only stayed a couple minutes~~perfect amount of time~~gave me a hug, and shared 2 mini-miracles in her life.  She was headed to work this morning, they are currently closing their business (a driving range)  and are doing a garage sell to get rid of extra stuff.  Anyhow as she pulled out of the driveway she saw a little two year old walking down the road.  (OOPS)  She knew who he was and drove him back to his home.  She was a angel in disguise.    Then later in the day somebody had given them a $50 to pay for stuff.  They went to find it and couldn't.  He had put it in his pocket and figured when he took his keys out it fell out and somebody stole it.  They were of course extremely bumbed.  Her dh wanted a phone number, and she said oh, I think thats in the garbage.   Let me go look.  She started rifling through the garbage for the phone number~~and found the $50.


    God IS in control!


    I read this in devotions.  Its the David & Goliath Battle. 


    45 David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. 47 All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you into our hands."


    I am doing a bit better in the denial department.  I'm slowly moving towards the fighting part.  God IS in control.


    I prayed this morning for a life verse for Rainee.  If your not a Christian I don't know how to explain this to you.  But God gave me MY life verse for her.   I wish I could give it to you my friends.


    2 Timothy 1:12  ...."For I KNOW whom I have believed and am persuaded that he IS able to keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day." 


    God IS in control.


    Tracie, I'm still taking my paxil.  So, the doctors are kinda involved.  Mind you I forgot to bring it with me to Seattle, so was off it for 4 days.  *sigh*  But, I'm back on, and life will work.


    I'm not into praising God quite yet, but I am working on it.  I'm almost to acceptance, so this is better then nothing.


    Finding a sickening diagnosis for your child is just like a death of a dream. 

    I've read this a couple times,  I thought I'd share it. 


    WELCOME TO HOLLAND


    by Emily Perl Kingsley.




    c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved



    I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......



    When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.



    After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."



    "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."



    But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.



    The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.



    So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.



    It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.



    But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."



    And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.



    But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.





    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    And that sums up things right now.



     

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