Good morning

YAWN  STRETCH YAWN

Rob’s home today as is usual.  We have to do a bunch of borring old errands.

I finished ordering my kids Christmas presents last night.  So that is all done.  They are getting a much simpler Christmas this year.  Each of them is getting a backpack which is full of craft supplies~~came that way from Toys R US.  And a package of Adventures in Oddessey Tapes.  Thats it.  Except for some stocking stuffers which I will try to keep under $10 for each child.   Oh and Rainee’s getting a stuffy instead of a backpack.

Their favorite toys are bags anyhow…so the backpacks should be winners.  And the theory is that way I’ll have something to pack their clothes in when they go to grandmas house. 

Rob has a very bad habit of not perusing the mail before throwing it in the bill pile.  I always sort it, make sure theirs nothing urgent throw the junk mail away etc.  Anyhoo….ummm as a result  he is driving with an expired drivers license.  He thought I was too.  Because he did NOT even open the mail.  GROWL.  Okay I think I better go sort the mail, and see what other things he missed.  It is suppposed to be his job.  But I just function better doing it.

Tonight we are having a ladies night out at my house.  I so hope lots of people show. 

Father God, in all we do let me honor you.  In all we say let me think of you first before it comes bubbling out of my mouth.  In your sons name, Amen

Which Barbie are YOU?

You know I think the unschooling philosophy might work for us.  Even if that wasn’t what I was planning on doing. 

Zeria is writing letters today.  She wanted to know how to write Kaylin’s name.  And has written her name a whole bunch.  This from a girl who 2 days ago just plain didn’t like doing it.  LOL  Who knows when somethings gonna hit her fancy.

She’s young anyhoo and there’s plenty of time to do disciplined school.    Thanks Kayte for the lecture yesterday

Another Doctors appointment for Rainee bug today.  *sigh*  But with a REAL doctor this time.  The appointment I had Tuesday with the REsident was a complete and total waste of my time.  He kept asking me so what do you want to do.  I finally told him…YOUR the doctor I’m hear because I was TOLD to come back YOU tell ME what to do.  And for this I paid money. 

So today its with one of my 2 favorites Dr. W.  The doctor I cried all over on Saturday.  LOL  He was so gentle with me.    And we both have babies almost the same age (his is like a week younger).  Also I’ve heard via the receptionist that the results from Rainee’s tests have made it back to my clinic rather then my word-of-mouth, so that should help too. 

Other then that I have absolutely GOT to do laundry today.  UGH.   Trust me its way way way over due!!!!

The good news is however.  You can see the bedroom floors in my kids bedroom again.     It was my BIG goal for the week, and its accomplished.  The toys have been sorted, all the broken unused ones have gone bye-bye and its CLEAN.   

Father God, I pray for wisdom in the doctor today.  And ask that he would give me a good plan to go with.  And that Rainee bug would continue to improve.  In your sons name, Amen

Woo Hoo Woo Hoo Woo Hoo   Ok the above image probably doesn’t look like much to you.  But its the first time Zeria has successfully written her name multiple times with minimal backwards letters.  I’m so proud of her. 

And life begins today. 

Well okay vacation is over, and I have to get my rear-end in gear. 

I have a husband who pitches in and works HARD.  its been nice to not have to do everything all day.  Plus the added stress of Rainee’s long-extended cold.  So now I take it all back on myself.

The good news.  Soccer is over, so I don’t have to drag them to that. 

The bad news.  Well life just gets hectic some days.  It takes an average of 10 minutes to give Rainee her meds, and she’s needing those meds every 2 hours.  Add that to the time spent in changing diapers on 2 sets of bums (James isn’t anywhere potty trained)  Making sure the kids aren’t destroying the house, etc etc. 

I have NO idea when the laundry is gonna get done.  And because we relaxed the last 2 days.  All 3 clothes hampers are running over, running over. 

I was gonna take it all to the laundromat, but it kinda seems overwhelming.  May change my mind and do it anyhoo.  We will see.

Baby steps. 

Father God, give me wisdom in how to do this day.  So that I enjoy and train my kids, but also get the practical stuff that needs to be done too.  In your sons name, Amen

Good morning

Well what did we do yesterday?  Oh it was a heavenly one day vacation.  I decided what we really needed was a break for our bigger kids.  So we hired my sister last minute to come.  And as she hasn’t worked for me in a couple weeks she was over 15 minutes later  

Anyhow as soon as she came we headed out destination unknown.  LOL  We dropped a check off at the bank for my mom and headed east.  We eventually ended up in the closest “big” shopping town.  We went to onlly 2 stores there.  and spent a LOT of money ROFL.  Toys R US where we bought the kids main Christmas present for each.  (Backpacks loaded with craft supplies)  And something for my Awana tree I’m decorating. 

Then we went for lunch (Chinese buffet)  our favorite restaurant in this town.  And afterwards we went to Barnes and Nobles and spent over an hour there.  It was like a candy store   And we spent a LOT of money there too.   On new reading material for mommy and daddy.  And one book for the kiddos. 

Anyhow after that we headed most of the way home, and rented a motel.  We knew we weren’t spending the night there, but we wanted some place we could give Rainee a treatment and some place we could read.  So we took LONG showers (our well is running low so this is a luxury right now)  And then read our books and entertained Rainee baby.    

It was just sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo relaxing. 

We headed home about 8 pm and just felt like new human beings.    I’m so greatful for that day.  Haven’t had one like it since before Rainee was born. 

Today is our last day of vacation.  Tonight we are gonna have my mom baby-sit Rainee.  My mom is good with the nebulizer, etc.  And I have a bottle of breast-milk pumped.  We are gonna then take the big kids to the Veggie Tales movie.  We all want to see it, and they have gotten the short-end of mommy and daddy’s attention.  So they will like that a LOT.     

Of course we have a breathing check for Rainee today.  She still sounds TERRIBLE!  And a couple boring errand kinda things.  But I can do those I feel so refreshed.

He leads me beside still waters. 

Good morning beautiful how are you today?

Okay got that song out of my head.

Daddy’s doing the morning med routine.  (phew)  Rainee doesn’t like him doing it normally.  But he persisted and now she likes him doing it too.  Yeah   I hated being the only bad guy.

I’m dreaming of a vacation.  Oh thats right this is our last two days of vacation.    Some vacation huh!

Okay I’m dreaming of a REAL vacation you know sun, sand surf, some place hot.    I’ve dreamed every night literally of swimming some place warm. 

HMMMMMM Princess just came dressed in shorts.  There’s frost on the ground outside.  And wanted to know WHY?  she couldn’t wear them.  UGH.   I’m sending her outside to discover why all on her own.  Aren’t I mean???????  Its called creative parenting.  HMMM HD thinks it sounds like fun.  So their both standing outside barefoot.  BWAHAHAHAHA

What are we gonna do today? 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and he shall direct your paths.

What are we gonna do today?

I have absolutely NO idea.  But God does.  How powerful is that?

I’m so thankful for everybody’s comments yesterday.  The blog I did was very healing.  I’m dealing with ACCEPTING Rainee’s “new” future. 

You know what is coool though?  It is ONLY new to me.  It is not new to God.  He knew from the beginning what her life held.  He is IN charge.  He is the King and Lord of all.  And that will never change.

I especially want to thank craktpot for her verses.  They were so good~~and the 3rd time I’d heard them in less then 24 hours.  God was trying to tell me something   I think I’m slowly getting it!

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

Psalm 139:13-17

I’m learning to tell Rainee’s story.  This is the first step.  And a step I will have to deal with for the rest of my life.

I read the book Chronic Kids Constant Hope.  It is a MUST read for anybody with a child with a chronic condition.  I should say I devoured it.  I read it in less then 24 hours.  It was powerful.

It deals with things like…When friends say stupid things, and they will.   Its for moms with kids with asthma, or moms with kids who have much bigger problems.  It was SO good.  If you have a friend with a child who has something “big” wrong with him/her I can’t promote this book enough!!!

They talk a lot about your childs story, and how you will tell it, and who will WANT to listen, and who will walk off with glazed eyes.  Its the reality, and it is a hard part of my “new” reality.

Yesterday I walked into a mom & pop store.  I “know” the man.  I’ve talked to him periodically over the last few years.  He said so how’s your day.  “I said its been a day” (giving him the option to ignore)  He said,  “OH whats wrong” (Does he really want to know????)  I said I have a chronically sick kid who I’ve learned is always gonna be sick, and we almost had to admit her today.”    He said, Oh I’m sorry.   And then he said in a very quiet and kind voice.  At least you learned she’s gonna live to be sick.”  That brought me up short.  And made me take a moment to be thankful. 

And now you know what~~I want to know HIS story!!  I want to know why he knew those words of wisdom, and was able to encourage me so greatly!   Someday I will get the courage to ask him.

So today is my first day of having to tell my story to my church family.  My church family is extremely important to me.  The ladies in my SS class are my life-line.  And I’m scared to tell the story.  And I will probably cry.  But it will be healing.  And it will be a “first” that I don’t have to do again. 

Hug your family!  They are so awesome.

Oh and you know what.  I love my big kids.  They may keep walking off with “my” stuff.  And relocating it to some hidey-hole that only they know about.  But they are soooooooo gentle and caring with their baby sister.  And so good about participating in her care.  Shaking toys while she does albuterol, singing to her, holding her, and pushing her around the room in the walker to give their mommy and daddy a few minutes of non-Rainee time.  It is precious

This is my Rainee Bug~~~

My pride,

My joy,

And the source of many, many worries and fears…

She looks like this 4-6 times a day.

This is her reality.

It is not gonna get better

Rainee bug has a special joy about her that everyone notices her.  To the point that when Pastor Mel did her baby dedication last week he attributed it to her.  Its like she always sees the angels. 

She talks and giggles, and tells stories, that nobody can understand.

God has worked miracles in her life many times.  From when she was in my womb.   And I had contractions when our house tried to burn down.  God stopped those contractions,  God woke up mommy and warned her BEFORE the fire got out of control. 

God saved Rainee by letting her be full-term.  She tried for months to come up premmie.  

God saved Rainee by opening her airways just enough to breathe and get her to Childrens hospital by airplane.

God saved Rainee by allowing her mommy to stop hemoraghing after her mommy pushed Rainee out to save Rainee’s life due to her heart rate dropping to 70.

Rainee’s middle name is GRACE it means a gift from God.  She IS my gift.

This picture is part of Rainee’s story.  It will never completely disappear from my mind.

Rainee’s story is long, and complicated and not something easy to explain to  a passer by.

Everybody loves Rainee, and wants to kiss her cheeks.  Her siblings all spoil her, and fight over who gets to entertain her.

Rainee IS a special gift of God. 

Rainee is sick again.  The doctor wanted to admit her last night.  Mommy and daddy probably should have let them.  But mommy was too tired to make a good decision.  She will probably get admitted today. 

Mommy and daddy have finally realized that things are not getting better.  And are going through a grieving process.  Can you pray for them? 

Rainee is my gift.  And I love her!

Update~~the steroids worked just enough, so that Rainee got to stay home.  Mommy and daddy are taking turns napping today, because they were up ALL night with baby Rae. 

Mommy and Daddy kisses are Grosey!!!! 

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha