June 1, 2002

  • Good morning


    Rob's at work so I actually got outa bed before 9 am.   


    I took 3 steps backwards this week in my recovery process.  And have been sleeping as much as I possibly can.  Man am I greatful for a patient husband!


    I started bleeding (sorry to grose you out)  on Wednesday...and I just didn't have the blood to loose.  So it wiped me out completely.  I have my 6 week check-up on Monday, and will find out what my humatacrant is then.  I doubt its back where it should be as I went white as a ghost again.  And back to energyless.   My mom kept my 4 oldest Thursday for me which was very nice, and Friday Rob was off.  Today we will watch cartoons, and do as little possible. 


    My kids have been doing very well.  


    Samuel LOVED his birthday.  He is so sweet on his birthday and so greatful for each present etc.   And yes he and Zeria are full siblings, so their birth mom got pregnant VERY quickly.  They are now 4 for the next 2 months. 


    Zeria is very very eager for her birthday.  She thinks that it is just no fair that Samuel has a bike that rides faster then hers.    All she has is a big wheel.  She also informed me that she wants a real princess one that moves and everything.    I told her that real princess's were not available for sale  


    Jamari has turned into the sweetest little boy all of a sudden. Loving, teasing and genuinely happy.  I think he's finally decided he's here to stay and should go easy on us.  Oh and he's learn to dance.   And he's got better rhythm then either Rob or I   He loves jiving music and shakes his little booty, and arms in time to the music.  Too entirely funny!


    I've been trying to convince Kaylin that she can only nurse at home.  So on Wednesday at my mom's house she came up at asked for Mama which is her way of asking for mom-mom milk.  I told her no not right now when we go home.  So she ran to my mom's back door and said, Go! out! Go!  hehehe.  IF she couldn't have it at grandmas house by all means lets go home so she can have it. 


    I get very discouraged by how much Kaylin is talking.  And every time I'm starting to get ready to panic about it and seek more help she learns a couple more words.   This weeks was when I asked her where something was she said "I don't know."   So here's hoping she gets it figured out eventually.   Oh and just for the record when i talked to her doctor at her 2 year check-up she wasn't overly concerned, so I'm trying NOT to be.


    I had another flashback this week.  I had thought maybe they had ended.  They haven't.  So I prayed about it, and moved on.


    I won't deny I am still struggling.  I think a lot of that has to do with the loss of blood though.  As I was doing quite well emotionally until I started loosing again.  And now I'm lethargic and doing the pity party thing a bit.  Trying very hard not to give into it!


    Oh yeah, and we ummm never got around to spaying our kitten.  I had full intentions of doing it, but first she was too little, and then life got hectic after we got Jamari...and well now....ummm its too late.  She had 8 yes EIGHT! kittens under our bed Thursday morning.  *sigh*  Now what the heck am I gonna do with 8 kittens.  Guess I'll be figuring that out in about 6 weeks.   Zeria of course thinks we should keep them all.  (yeah right!)


    Father God, I need the energy for just today.  I ask that you would help me enjoy my children, and deal with today.  In your sons name, Amen