i'M still alive.  Just very shaky and very tired.  Rob has off until May 8th.  So I'm sleeping and nursing the baby and thats it. 

I got so bad my midwife offered me the option of a transfusion.  After testing my humatecrant and deciding it was going up (a bit)  I made the very hard choice not to take the "quick" fix.   I still doubt myself as to wether I made the right decision.  But you just cannot guarantee that the blood is 100% safe.  So what seemed like a "quick" fix could have been much worse.  So I keep telling myself.

Rainee is starting to nurse much better.  And is gaining weight.  She's waking herself up just before I would for the most part.  So that is a major relief.  She is a MUCH easier nurser then Kaylin for which I'm greatful.  As I just don't have the mental stamina to deal with much.

My midwife assures me this is normal.  She says my brain is blood deprived and will not function too good.  She thinks I did so well the first couple days because I was working on sheer adrenaline to get Rainee out of Childrens and home.  Now its my turn to collapse.

My husband is once again proving he's a saint.  As he folded 10 loads of laundry and took care of the kids.  While I ummmm slept. 

Our church is bringing evening meals which gives him a *bit* of a break.  Although I have to admit I'm tired of macaroni.  LOL  Every single person has brought it in some form or another.   Beggers can't be choosers right?

I'm hoping to sneak out Monday night with Rob and go for a nice juicy Prime Rib.    It would be that stressful to walk from the house to the car, and from the car to the restaurant right?  And I'm sooo craving red meat.  Which is VERY unusual for me...but its because of how low iron I am.  I'm taking heavy doses of it twice a day.  And still craving it.

I have more pictures of Rainee, but not the mental stamina to upload them.  So some day. 

And so I toddle back to my bed to stay there as long as I can before a little nursling starts asking for me again.

I'm typing with a baby in my arms.  And man is it precious.  She actually has her eyes open this morning   We were beginning to suspect she didn't have any.  LOL  The nursing had a set-back yesterday as we could NOT get her to wake up.  But we survived, and I think things are going much better now.   A lactation consultant came out yesterday and we worked on a couple things.   And when I heard her weight decided I'd get more religious about waking her every two hours.  She's still going down in weight.  Not a MAJOR concern yet, just need to be more concientious about waking her. 

We are adjusting as a family, and extremely greatful that Rob has a good job with benefits.  He will be off work until May 8th.  I'm soooooooooo glad.   Originally he was gonna take off until May 1st, but when everything went south I asked him to take another week off.  He has the vacation time acculumlated just means we probably won't be taking a vacation this summer.  But hey thats ok. 

Where he works is a vacation spot.  Right beside a lovely beach.  Probably we will just borrow my parents motor home and park it at a RV park.  The kids and I can play at the beach during the day, and then play with daddy when he's not working.    And it saves him 2 hours of driving each day. 

Well, I'm feeling very good about what has happened over Rainee's birth.  The blogging has been therapeutic.  And Rob and I worked through all my griefs.   And prayed over each one of them and gave them to God.  And each time a negative comes up...I confess my anger, sadness etc and move on.  Its not a perfect moving on.  Two steps forward one step back.  But I am moving.

I may have more blogs about the past.  But today I want to focus on today.  With one exception.  I need to write out the very specific miracles God worked in regards to the delivery experience.

1st one.  My bedroom got finished BEFORE I went into labor.  I have a clean comfortable place to recover.

2nd one.  Rob was home and not an hour away at work.

3rd one.  We didn't have to wake anybody up in the middle of the night to come get the kids.

4th one.  Midwife listened to me and induced right away rather then waiting hours for nothing to happen.

5th one.  I go to a peds clinic.  There are 5 regular doctors, 1 NP, and several residents there.  You get what you get when an emergency happened.  I have one doctor who I choose to work with if it at all possible.  She's been with me through Zeria's hospitalization, asthma, and is a EN breastfeeding mom.  WE just "happened" to go into labor the day she was on call.  The second I heard them say page Dr. Harrington she's the ped on call.  I breathed much easier God was in control.

6th one.  I have a friend and Zeria's SS teacher who works as a Respitory Therapist in the hospital.  We've been through Zeria's hospitalizations together twice.  There are several Respitory Therapists at the hospital.  She just "happened" to be the one on call that night.  I cried when I saw she was the one working on RAinee.  And was extremely grateful to God to see her. 

7th one.  My mom.  She does NOT like being in the delivery room.  But she came and did a excellent job.  She kept quiet, and just let me do what needed to be done.   She has 6 kids at home still and much to do.  But she kept my kids, helped me through labor, and drove to Seattle to be with Rainee because neither of us were able to....

8th one.  The peace I had through that neverending night.  Yes, I was crying/screaming when it was going on.  But I KNEW God was in control.  And afterwards when they told me how serious things were.  I was incredibly intensely calm.  God gave me the ability to SING.  sing????  I'm still trying to figure out how the heck that happened.  It was to ME the biggest miracle of all.  It was because of the Grace of God.

9th one.  We picked the name Grace on a lark.  Not because it had great meaning, just "liked" it and it flowed with Rainee.  Now for the rest of her life it will remind me of the Undeserved favor I have of raising Rainee.  This is so incredible to me.    Because that IS the Biblical meaning of the word Grace.

10th one.  Nothing else went wrong.  So much could have.  WE were in a peds room with parents who much more had gone wrong.  A 34 weeker in a isolation tank, a baby with a cleft palate, and a 3 month old who kept having seizures and nobody knew why.   I got to go home with a healthy baby.  And one whom the doctors weren't quite sure why she got the helicopter ride.   

11th one;  The spots "disappeared"  God healed them.  How amazing can you get?

12th one;  After all the attention to me.  And all the bleeding I did.  I was able to get up 24 hours later and take care of my baby.  I am NOT sore.  Just very weak/shakey.   I couldn't even get up to go to the bathroom for 8 hours after Rainee was born.  I used the lovely chamber pot.   

13th one;  God gave me unbelievable energy while I needed it.  When I hit the ferry on the way home I was completely exhausted.  And in pain.  But it was ok then.  I had the baby.  We were headed home.  He held it off until all was safe.

14th one;  ON the ferry I was in a panic.  i was in so much pain.  Rob offered to take a motel for the night.  We prayed.  And God literally knocked me out (I think)  I slept the whole 3 hour drive without ever waking.  So did RAinee.    Thank you God!

MIRACLES!!!! 

My very first picture of Rainee......I.V and oxygen box. 

A body shot of Rainee before her flying out....

Saying goodbye to Rainee all strapped up....

Nursing Rainee the first time at Childrens

          

Peaking at mommy

     

Daddy and Rainee....

                     

Sunday morning we headed over to Childrens.  I of course getting the wheel chair ride.  Thats ok couldn't hardly walk anyhow.  I'm amazing unsore.  But shaky. 

Bil and sis load me up and off we go.  Stopping for more cash, and pop.  We have to take the ferry.  And my bladder is full.  I HAVE to use a bathroom.  Forget that ferry has elevator.   Climb the stairs.  Oy was that exhausting.  Sis remembers the elevator so we take that on the way down (phew)

Drive is uneventful.  We get to the hospital and get lost in the parking lot.    But eventually find Rainee and Rob.  I immediately sit down to hold her.  Sis takes one picture and then heads out.  There headed to the zoo.  I remember afterwards I didn't share Rainee or let her hold her.  Oh well...I told Rob I wasn't sharing Rainee for a good month.  He said that would be fine. 

I held her and loved her.  She began to fuss, and all my instincts want to nurse her.  But I'm so terrified that after being away so long this won't go well.  I hesitate and finally just do it.  It wasn't the worlds greatest nurse...but she did it.  I relax a bit.  We can do this.  But in some strange way Rainee still doesn't feel like mine.   I touch her brow, her face, kiss her, talk to her, and get the crack in my throat wanting to cry.  But the hospital room we're in is so NOT private.  There are 4 other babies in there in varying stages of recovery/illnesses.  No walls, just curtains and about a 3 foot space that is "ours".   It will be home for the next 24 hours. 

Eventually my exhaustion catches up with me.  There's  a new moms room.  I drag my body there with a walkman of praise music that my sister had brought me at my request.    I sit down realize I have no blanket.  Too tired to care.  Put the walkman on and fall asleep.  Sleep for an hour or more.  NOt really sure how long.  Things are so vague. 

Head back over to Rainee in the afternoon.  We nurse again this is a fairly good nurse.  I'm relaxing a bit with her.  Rob goes and finds me Ibuprofen.  Was supposed to bring some from hospital but they got us out in such a hurry we forgot

My back is starting to kill me.  The "bed/cot/chair" thingy is AWFUL!!   But no other options.  I lay down on my side and snuggle Rainee we fall asleep for awhile.  The nurses here are awesome. 

Her hand has a iv in it.  It bugs her because she wants the thumb that is wrapped up in it.  She has a callous on her lip from sucking in utero.  I strip her naked to see what she looks like.  Flip her upside down she has a birthmark on her neck like Kaylin.  Tickle her toes, impress myself on her.  She's mine, but I know so little of her. 

Eventually we eat dinner.  Hospital food.  BLUCHKY.  Different hospital same bluchky food.  But I'm ravenous and craving meat so I eat it anyhow.  LOL   

Remember what my midwife said Saturday night about hospital food in her attempts to distract me when I was very down.  She said there's a secret base somewhere in Idaho or Utah with convicts working.  They make this very special spice that is sold to all hospitals/college campuses/public school cafeterias.  It is designed to make the food taste all alike.    This apparently is her husbands pet theory.  I think Rob and I agree.

Rainee is doing extremely well.  The nurse keeps saying you can suppliment if you want to.  #4a@#*$(@&#($*@#&(8  i KNOW how wrong she is.  And just keep my mouth shut.  I will not mess with the supply.  Its bad enough she had to have a bottle the first 24 hours of her life.  Was it only 24 hours seemed like a year or 10.

New nurse comes on.  She is MUCH more knowledgable about nursing moms.  And is fairly helpful.  She suggests I continue to pump as well as sometimes babies like this have weak suck.  I pump and get 2 ounces.  Very excited as I hadn't had much before this.  She suggests we give this in a supplimental.  I try it...but not really impressed.  I feel she is nursing/sucking enough on her own not to mess with it.  I had asked for a LC consult.  They paged, called her 3x but she never shows.  Today (at home)  I have one coming .

I'm still nervous about the nursing, because she's not nursing very long at all.

Then the bad news comes.  Only one parent can spend the night.  *sigh*  Rob and I will be seperated again.  I'm the one nursing.  So I stay.  Rob heads off to find a hotel.   About 11 Rainee is very awake for the first time.  I latch her on and she truely latches on for the first time.  And sucked and sucked and sucked.  We nursed for an hour.  I was ecstatic.  I could hear her swallowing the whole time.   

The night is a long one.  Alarms constantly going off.  Everytime I nurse Rainee her iv goes off & off & off.  We keep getting it accluded.  As she doesn't really nead it...just saline to keep it going the second time I just tell the nurse I am not unlatching this baby.  She doesn't argue.  LOL

The other alarms for the babies go off.  beep, beep, beep.  I finally get a couple hours of sleep, nurse and then a couple more hours.  Rob shows up at 7 am.  I am in PAIN (back)  and exhausted.  But holding on because the doctor has said if the lung exray is clear we can go home. 

Intern shows up says we're waiting for xray, but you can go home as we don't anticipate it showing up too much.  Rob and I have already decided we ARE going home with/without dr consent. Baby is fine.  Which is a MAJOR miracle.

Eventually they do xray the spot is COMPLETELY gone.  The doctor says maybe the previous xrays were flukes.  We believe in miracles.  Should have said so...but we were just glad it was over.

She mentions that Rainee's heart is slightly enlarged...but it may be a xray fluke.  She will pass this onto the ped.  I stuff this and choose not to here it.  I know that the multiple US I had never showed anything.  And will cross that bridge if/when we ever have to.

Car is already loaded.  We wait for the discharge papers.  say goodbye to our nurses who were sooooooo nice.  And wheelchair me out.  As their is NO way I could walk that far anyhow. 

We are on our way HOME!!!!!!

To be continued................

I need a place to vent.  A place to get my jumbled thoughts out.  I've been on move forward don't think, don't feel, do what needs to be done for an eternity.  I thought I could do my jumbled blog.  Get in bed and sleep and cuddle with my baby.  I can't.  I can't cry.  And I KNOW I need to.  So here's another blog right on top of the last one.  I start it out with a Praise Song

Oh God you are my God,

And I will ever praise you,

I will seek you in the morning,

I will learn to walk in your ways,

For step by step you lead me,

I will follow you all of my day.

I will seek you in the morning.

I will learn to walk in your way

For step by step you lead me

I will follow you all of my day.

Thursday night I went to bed knowing my bedroom was painted, and things were ready for the baby.  But not really convinced that it was gonna happen yet. 

Friday morning Kaylin woke up at 6 am.  She came and snuggled in bed with me and nursed for 45 minutes.  The sun was shining, and it was so comforting and so wonderful.  About 6:45 I headed out handed Kaylin to Rob and said I have to go to the bathroom can you hold her?   All of a sudden I looked down and a trickle was running down my leg.   Rob and I looked at each other and at the trickle.  And said...well then again maybe we WON"T be moving into the bedroom. 

But the trickle stopped, and I thought oh maybe I was dreaming it.  We got up and started the day.  Planning on moving into the bedroom etc.  No more wetness, so I'm assuming I just had a over full bladder.  I start getting things ready to move into the bedroom, Rob is getting kids dressed etc.  Then about 8:15 gush.  Well I guess my water has officially broke.  We're excited.  I call the midwife.  While Rob is frantically moving stuff back into our bedroom.  The kids are ecstatic they get to go to grandmas and start emptying their drawers out into a laundry basket.  I quickly stall them on that one.    The midwife and I arrange to meet at 10.  We know there's no hurry as I'm not having any contractions yet.  (go figure of course) 

We rush around pack for the kids.  My mom shows up.  She helps Rob finish moving stuff into the bedroom (still don't have a closet)  CAn't figure out what we did with the closet rod hangers    My 16 year old sister loads the kids in the car.  My mom volunteers to take the puppys too...we had been gonna get a neighbor to watch them. 

At 9:40 we head to the midwifes.  She checks me yep definitely water broke   My pants are sopping wet.  ROFL

Kids btw thought that mommy wetting her pants was HILAARIOUS!  And were in stitches over it.

We check into the hospital about 10:15 after stopping to get cash.  I had asked to be put on the pit drip immediately rather then waiting to see if we could get contractions going.  This was the way my labor had gone last time.   So I knew pretty for certain that I wouldn't get anything going on my own, and all I'd be doing was wearing myself out. 

It takes a couple hours for the contractions to get going. on pit.  I eat lunch.   But am "tied" to the bed as they have to monitor because of the pit.  About 1:30-2:00 I ask for the nurse to get the midwife as I'm having a hard time coping with the contractioons.  This was at the midwifes request...call me when things start "hurting". 

Midwife comes, checks me no progress.  Still at almost 3 centimeters.  Contractions are strong but short.  4 in back 4 in front.  Never staying in front or back.  Very hard to manage because I never knew which part of me was gonna hurt. 

They "let" me into the shower bending rules big time.  It was nice.  But all I really wanted to do was sleep in between them and I just could NOT  relax.  *sigh*  I'd had insomnia the night before and am functioning on precisely 2.5 hours of sleep.  So am already exhausted and the fun has not yet begun.

Eventually about 4 or 5 in the afternoon she gives me some pills for pain.  They make me hyper.  GROWL.  I had told her they would.  *sigh*  Finally she gives me the morphine I'd asked for KNOWING it had worked last time.  She checks me first.  Still at barely 3 centimeters.  UGH!

About 6:30 in the evening Rob is getting green around the gills.  All of a sudden he rushes to the bathroom and pukes.  He says hes drank too much coffee.  He hadn't.  He had got my stomache bug.  He proceeds to puke about every 15 minutes or so....becoming completely useless as my partner.  I want him so badly.  But he's not there for me.  He wants to be....but he's just so sick.  Finally my midwife escorts him down to the ER gets him priority service to get some help.  The phenagran knocks him completely out.  He stays passed out on the recliner chair for most of the rest of the night.

We call my mom about 7:00 or so and ask her to come in and be my partner.  In the meantime I "bond" with the nurse and she is my partner.  I for whatever reason just couldn't relax with my midwife.  I did NOT have my "favorite" midwife...but still like her.  But I just couldn't get a rhythm going with her. 

My mom comes in.  She HATES being in the l & D room.  But she does it because nobody else can.  She did a good job.  Just let me hold her hand and was EXTREMELY quiet. 

I eventually get a second dose of morphine.  I am just not coping well with the pain this time.  I kept calling myself a failure for needing it.  Everybody tells me no your not.  etc, etc.  I don't really believe them.

Before the second dose of morphine she checks me.  I'm at 4 centimeters.  *sigh*  I'm gonna be here forever.

About 10:45 I feel finally the urge to push.  They give me the go ahead.  And turn the pit off.  I push.  Its going well.  But slowly.  They warn me baby will be sleepy because of the morphine not to worry.    Their prodding me on a bit, but not too much.  All of a sudden their saying you have to push NOW!  They put oxygen on me.  I hear them saying baby's heart beat is dropping, 50's 60s.  Page Dr H (my ped) 

I tell myself this baby is coming out NOW!  She did in 1 push from head to toe.  Just like Kaylin did.  ONLY the cord is wrapped around her neck twice.    

The baby is wisked to the warming room across the way.  Mary says you barely tore.  And then all of a sudden gush I'm bleeding everywhere.    Mary is panicking.  Get the ER Dr here now, call the OB dr.  I need help she says. 

My mom is praying quietly.  I am crying RAinee wake up, wake up.  Come on cry, cry you got to we need you.  WE all need you.  I'm continuing to bleed It gets worse.  I start crying and praying loudly.  God  my family needs me don't do this.  My mom continues to pray.  I shout God! wake up people to pray for me.  Then I say mom go calll the prayer chain.  Go Go.  So she goes to find a phone.  Rob staggers out of the recliner chair for a second.  Aware that he's very possible of loosing both of us.  But can't do anything about it.  Goes and lays back down.  may he never take phenagran again.  They give me 3 different kinds of shots to stop the bleeding.  My hips are hurting bad being spread out this long.  And I know I have no choice. 

They get Rainee stabalized..but on oxygen.  Bring her over to me to touch her..but NOT hold her.  And take her to the nursery.  Get my bleeders stopped.  Ob doctor gives me stadol without  asking me.  He is NOT my doctor...just the one on call.  .  I think I HATE him for this part of me is greatful as it numbs me for what came next. .  As the rest of the night is a haze of conversations.  I had to make major decisions trying to push the drug away.

The next thing I remember is DR H and my mom coming back in.  Rainee has had a seizure.  Her lungs are very wet.  They have her stabalized.  But if anything else goes wrong this hospital is NOT equipped to help her.  They want to helicopter her to SEattle.   I scream, no its a nightmare.  And start crying.  They say no its not a nightmare.  and it needs to be done.  I continue to cry softly.  I cry Rob I need you.  He just lays there staring blankly.   I pray. 

I start to sing Praise songs.  And I continued to sing Praise songs for several hours.  The one I typed at the top I sang OVER and OVER adn OVER.  

My bleeding had been from my cervix.  3 bleeders.  They had to clamp them off and stitch them.  I am told I will have a LONG recovery time.  I don't care..I just want my baby...and their flying her away shortly.

They arrange for me to see her in the nursery.  By rolling a guerny with me on it into the nursery.  I stroke her with my hand.  A box with oxygen going on it is over her head.  I have pictures of her...I had the sense to take them even in my drugged haze.  I ask if I can send the blanket I brought for her.   They say yes.   I sob as I hold onto the blanket.  I wanted to hold her in it.  And I don't want to give up the blanket.  I'm so terrified that this is the only thing I will ever have of hers....and I'm giving it up.  I'm almost keep it to hold onto.   I wanted this baby so badly....and she's so quiet, and not crying.  She lets out a little waa.  And I say thats a good girl cry again.    The time passed in hours, but was only minutes.  They wheel me to my room.  I don't know where Rob is.  I want him so badly.

At one point when I was waiting in the L&D before seeing Rainee he was just laying there and I say in my drugged haze "How come your so stupid just laying there."  Part of me still wonders that.  And I've distanced myself from Rob since then.  I know I shouldn't.  And I'm desperately hoping I can cry tonight with him....I NEED to I have to.

They bring Rainee into my room.  All boxed up.  The paramedics who are flying her are AWESOME.  WE take more pictures... I stroke her and cry.  My pastor and his wife are there.  They have showed up earlier.  They pray with me and Rainee.  Pastor follows down to take pictures of the helicopter taking off for me.   his wife stays and talks.  I'll be eternally grateful for the distraction.

I lay in my room.  My mom comes to say goodbye.  She's headed to Seattle to be with Rainee.  Rob is laying in recliner chair out in hall way.  I want him so badly.  I call him...but he won't come.  He won't come.  I have no baby.  I remember I have a second baby blanket.  I ask for it.  After what seems like hours someone brings it I hug it and continue to sing praise songs.  Step by step he leads me, Step by step he leads me, STep by step he leads me.  I know that Rainee's middle name Grace means God's undeserved favor.  I pray so hard for one last favor.   His strength is perfect when our stregnth is gone.  I sing this song many times too.  

Finally Rob comes in.  He wants to lay on the cot.  I beg him please touch me I need to touch you.  He comes over.  I cry and cry.  I apologize so many times for Rainee not being healthy.  He tells me to shut up it was NOT my fault.  But if I hadn't taken the morhphine...he says it is NOT the morphine.   Then goes and lays down and goes to sleep.  I follow him shortly.

Have to go to the bathroom several times through the night.  Too tired to get out of bed.  Nurse helps me use the bed pan.  Towards morning I realize if I'm gonna get to see Rainee I'm gonna have to get better FAST!  Pray for a miracle from God.  at 6 am I decide to use bathroom by myself (nurse there to make sure I can)  I stand up am not shaky and do NOT hurt.  I am amazed.  

I do my thing and get into bed go to sleep for another hour.  Rob wakes up.  Finally shook the stupid #$@*#(&#*@$&#@(* drug.  He's gonna head to Seattle.  We talk for less then 5 minutes because we both want him over there with the baby.   He heads out.  I'm alone. 

VERy, very, very alone.

But God.  That was all I had.

Crucified, rejected and alone,

He lived to die

trampeled like a rose. 

God was there.

Rob comes back from the house bringing me a couple things I needed and heads out.  My sister arrives shortly thereafter and stays til 1 in the afternoon.  She'd decided I shouldd not be alone she was right.  I slept quite a bit but we also talked.

Always avoiding the subject that I have a baby.  We get repeated calls from Seattle.  Rainee's doing fine.  Rainee's off oxygen.  They need to do head scans,  Head scans are ok.  Rainee's screaming.  They gave Rainee pacifier.  (I swore she'd never have one)  But nobody's there to suck on....so she has to suck on anything.  They can't let her eat.   She has to prove her organs are ok.  She's crying they say. 

I stuff it all. 

My sister leaves I sleep all afternoon to praise music which my sister had brought me at my request.  My sil comes in the evening to distract me.  She does a good job.  Rob calls about 8:00 I finally cry again.  He just lets me cry.  He tells me about Rainee.  I cry.  Its not fair I want my baby.  

My midwife comes in just as the conversation is finished.  She says I'm doing great.  My humatecrant is about 7 so tomorrow morning I can go see my baby.  If I promise to be very very very good.  I'd promise pretty much anything at this stage.   My midwife gives me something to sleep with..another answer to prayer as I was just wishing I had asked for something.  She does all the discharge papers that night, so we can get a early start.

The next morning bil & sis come and we drive & get to see Rainee.  I hold her I love her, I touch her.  And never let her go.  WE struggle with nursing.  Mostly we're doing ok.

I have a Lactation consultant coming tomorrow to help with the bugs.  My milk has come in.

I'm home.

I still need to cry.  And well...I need prayer.

I will be trusting God.  He has worked many miracles.  The "spot" they saw is not there.  God removed it.  I believe that.  I'm home, my baby's home.  2 days ago Rob thought he was loosing both of us.   

God is good.  All the time.  All the time God is good. 

I believe it.  I'm holding onto it. 

Please pray for me.  AS pp stuff is here.  And I'm tired.

The next thing I remember after him giving

God worked many miracles this weekend.  And we are now both home safe and sound.  I bled a LOT.  And am pretty much on bedrest for the next couple of weeks.  I'm amazed Rob let me sit at the computer.  But I guess he figured after my post partum blues crying I was just doing he shouldn't cross me. 

Rainee is healthy and fine.  She scared the ever loving crap out of both of us.  And had a helicopter ride to Seattle after having the cord wrapped around her twice.  Failure to get her breathing very well.  Apgar' at 2&3.  And a seizure. 

Their were spots on her lungs when they got her over to Seattle.  But they have "disappeared"  We believe in MIRACLES!   After two complete days of observation and a heavy dose of antibiotics.  She got to come home.  The midwife let me escape the hospital early so I could get over to Seattle to be with Rainee. 

God gave me this incredible dose of energy in order to deal with all that went on.  Now I'm just exhausted, wiped out beyond belief.  So we are nursing, sleeping, sleeping and nursing.

Rainee btw Was 9 pounds 9 ounces.  And 22 inches long.   Her head was 14.5 inches around and her chest 15.  Can we say BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG!!!!   She was delivered vaginally.  And came out in one big mongo.  Kind of shocking the midwife.  As all my other pushes didn't seem like they were accomplishing much.

I have much healing to do emotionally as well as physically.  As on top of everything else that could go wrong.  Rob got my stomache bug while I was in labor and was passed out in a corner of the room with a MAJOR dose of phenagran in his system.   And was unable to be my labor coach.  The only time he arose was when he thought I was bleeding out.  (We all did)  And when we thought we were loosing  Rainee.   I had to rely on a nurse until my mother was able to get there.   And as my mother HATES being in the the labor room this was a major deal for her. 

I will be blogging in great detail about this all to the point of boring everybody to tears.  As I have some major stuff I have to deal with.  And I'm sorry for the disfunctional account right now.  But I've only been home a couple hours, and my head is still spinning.  Just wanted everybody to know we are alive and healthy.  And praising God for MANY miracles.

My water broke!  Next news.  Baby coming

                  

A gorgeous day yesterday   And I was healthy enough to enjoy it.  And so were my kids.  We just hung around outside and enjoyed it ALL day from 11-4 pm LOL  

My laundry room is situated so I can watch the kids on the swing set and do laundry.  So I would quickly fold a load change laundry around and go back to reading my new Anne McCaffre book.  Ahhhhhhhhh that was SO nice

The kids were extremely well behaved until the end of the day.  And we just had one of those golden days you will look back and wish you could repeat. 

               

Mommy was a sucker for the beautiful blue sky and yellow sunshine.  And we even picnicked outside for lunch.  Which my big kids though was VERY cool.  Jamari had a nice long nap so he missed the "picnic"  and just wandered around sharing his food with the ants later on when he woke up.   

                

The kids were so good and I was so in shock about their "goodness"  But don't worry it didn't last    My bil was over finishing up the drywall.   And they thoroughly enjoyed playing with their cousin who is just 2.    And their cousin learned a new word!  Shtick  (stick)  Him and Samuel had great fun "sword" fighting with sticks.  hehehe

Jamari however suffered from their "love"  and had to be rescued a couple times.  Next summer he will have a RIOT with them, but this summer...mommy has to watch out for big brother and cousin LOL.  At one point I caught them shoving him (mommy tiger came out when that happened)  And another time physically removing him from a toy they wanted.  OOPS.  Finally Samuel has somebody to play with.  Now we just have to continue on in the gentleness factor. 

                                      

Ok now for the "bad" kid moment.  Only really it wasn't that they were bad...just well umm misunderstood.  I was fairly weak yesterday, but so proud of myself because I finished ALL the laundry.  And there was a LOT of it thanks to both me and Kaylin having stomache bugs.    And it was all sitting nicely folded on the laundry table.  I just was TOO tired to deal with putting it away...and didn't see a great need to.  So the picnic was over, and it was time to go in get baths, dinner, bed time etc.   So we had a ton of clothes, junk etc spread all over the yard and I had the kids bring it in and set it on the dining room table.  They did.    And I wandered around collecting tippy cups etc.   Well after we got inside I asked the kids to take the dirty clothes that we'd dumped on the table and put them in the dirty clothes hamper.  They grabbed them and headed to the laundry room.  And kinda disappeared.  What are you doing?  I asked 3 or 4x.  They kept saying.  Putting the clothes away.  But it was like a 30 second job.  I however was quite content sitting where I was so didn't go investigate.  DUMB< DUMB< DUMB< DUMB< DUMB!!!!!   Finally I figured something is really wrong so I pulled my pregnant body off the chair to go investigate.  My laundry table with all those nice clean folded clothes is EMPTY......very empty.  Except for one lone pile of daddys clothes.  What are you doing?   We put the clothes away.  (big pause from mommy)   Oh?  where did you put them?  In the clothes hamper where you asked us to.      Mommy opens mouth, closes it, opens mouth closes it.  Zeria, Samuel go sit on the couch please.   I say very quietly.  Close the laundry room door.  Lean over on the clothes hamper and cry.  (literally)   Then opens clothes hamper to see yep ALL the laundry is in there.  Moms clothes are still folded, kids are not.  Fortunately towels etc had been up higher so they "missed" those.   *sigh*     Called kids back explained that was NOT what I asked and had them help me put stuff away where it really belonged.  And refolded the kids clothes (sort of)  The pjs and nighties well their gonna be wrinkly this week.  Folding those twice this week I just couldn't face.    Kids realized they'd oopsed.  And mommy didn't get mad.  (Still amazed by that LOL)   And well life goes on.  Right?   Now next time your kids get quiet remember....Quiet kids do NOT equal good kids

Sooooooooooo that was my gorgeous day.  But now the AWESOME news for the last.

My bedroom is FINISHED!!!  YES FINISHED!!!!!

As soon as I get done blogging (dh is getting impatient )  WE're gonna move our stuff back in.  WOO HOO WOO HOO.   I painted it last night after the kids were in bed.  So the bedroom got done before the baby did.   I am so psyched.  It looks sooooooo nice in there.  Of course the trim isn't done.  But hey that may be another 10 years or so    hehehehe  The walls are clean.  WE don't have insulation as "wallpaper"  And oh I live in a "real" room again.   

Baby let us move in (we need a little over a hour...)  And then you may come with my blessingi

Father God, I thank you for the awesome day we had yesterday and for the calmness you gave me when I could have easily blown up.  I thank you for the sunshine and for our room being finished.  I pray that the signs of the baby coming I've seen today would get stronger   And I thank you for your love in your sons name, Amen

And pray tell what is WRONG with this picture?????    What do you think Rynomommy do I have a climber too????

Why my hubby is NOT the photographer in this house........

Is he not aware that heads are supposed to be in pictures too  

Good morning

Its beautiful outside.  Or in Zeria's early morning words.

Mommy can we play outside today?  The sun is so yellow and the sky so blue....its beeeeeeeeautiful. 

Well, no promises even if it is beautiful.  Kaylin was up most of the night puking.  I got to sleep through most of it....and quite frankly don't even feel too guilty.   Rob poor guy did the night duty.  He slept with her on the couch and attempted to aim her when she threw up.   I'm desperately hoping this doesn't mean the rest of them get it.  And its kinda looking like it wasn't food poisoning...but then again who knows. 

On a strange bizarre side of it.  A large part of me is glad that the newborn is in my stomache because quite frankly dealing with a newborn and the stomache bug would have been a LOT of a pain.  Sooooooooo I guess God knows what he's doing in regards to when this baby is born.

Theory is Rob is going to work today.  He's attempting to sleep right now to catch up a bit.  And I'm attempting to pretend I'm capable of taking care of 4 kids.  Kaylin has nursed several times and eaten toast and its all stayed down.  So here's hoping she's better.

she appears to be permanently attatched to my breast today....and just started up again...so guess thisblog is done for now...