Well...its been a day.  I went to my midwife's this morning, and told her what had been going on over the weekend.  Got the lovely internal exam *sigh* And the fetal fiber nectin test to be good for another two weeks when it comes in.  She said she wanted me to go over to the hospital for a closer look at how the baby was doing (and to see if they could measure my contractions)  I told her last pregnancy that they were NEVER able to measure them not up until about 10 minutes before I had to push.  She said I still want you to go over.  *sigh*

Sooooooo I did.  And got the lovely belt on and monitoring.  Not too big of a deal I guess.  The midwife had said she'd meet me over there as the hospital is next door to the clinic.  She came over and had decided after reading my whole chart (she's new to the clinic, not the one who I dealt with last pregnancy)  that she wanted to do a couple more tests. (oh yeah)  Another internal *YUCK YUCK YUCK*  For a swab of "discharge"  I know grose sorry.  And then I had to have a mini-cath *YUCKY YUCKY YUCKY*    To get a clean check of my urine to see if there's anything there. 

So was at the hospital for almost 2 hours total.  And am home now.  I'm kinda stressed.  And trying to breathe.   Tonight is our date night, and I think we will still go.  She still hasn't said bedrest.  So I guess we'll go.  I guess I'm coping with the after stress of the whole thing now.   And trying to decide now what?  Praying for the results of everything to come back quickly, and hope that a solution is in sight.  Would be nice!

Good morning.  Its clear & beautiful outside.  Rob thinks him and the munchkins are gonna go outside and move the last of the junk wood leftover from the lean-to project.  BWAHAHAHAHAHA  Hopefully he does this when Jamari's napping, or otherwise he's in for a rude shock.  He's forgotten how little Jamari's been outside, and how stinkin' cold it gets out there.  Oh well I have stuff to do in town to day, so its his pwoblem

I am currently working my way through Leviticus having just finished Exodus (using Bible Pathways on the net)  And was once again reminded this morning how many many times the Israel recognized God's holiness and threw themselves on the ground in front of him. 

God's holiness is something I tend to forget exists.  So, I started to ask myself why?  I'm gonna ponder this one for a few days I think.  Part of it (off the top of my head)  is holiness and God are NOT mentioned that often in the NT.  They are in Revelations but the rest of the NT its more about a personal relationship with Christ.  However I don't think that excuses missing God's holiness completely...so I'm gonna be thinking on it.

Have a midwife appointment this morning.  I am SO glad.  It was all I could do not to call her over the last two days as my contractions were so miserable.  They never got "quite" strong enough to make me call her knowing I had my appt today, but if my appt had been next week I would have been calling and whining LOL.

Dalene my due date is the end of April.  I think I'll probably make it to the first of April...but we will see.  I had contractions with Kaylin from week 30...and she was born at 37.5 weeks.  (and dr said she was full term)  My official due date is April 24th...but when I had my early ultrasound they said the baby looked like she/he might be a week older.  Sooooooooo there's a bit of lee-way in this whole thing.  LOL  We shall see what happens.  Quite frankly I'm aiming for 35 weeks~~though I realize 36 would be MUCH MUCH better.  At 35 weeks my hospital would NOT insist on me taking a helicopter ride to Seattle, so that would make all of us happy.

Father God, I pray that this day goes smoothly, and that I focus on you, and your holiness.  I ask that things would go well at the mid-wife, and the test results would come back quickly.  In your sons name, Amen

Updating this for all my fairly new subscribers...and because I've been looking for it off & on for a month LOL as I wanted to send it to a friend and was too lazy to type it out again. 

HI....just sitting here thinking.  And decided its time to blog about my husbands & I's courtship.  I've been meaning to do it for awhile.  And he's been so patient with me this week, and I've  been so miserably pregnant (lol)  that I need to remind myself of the miracles God worked to bring us together.

I met Rob about a week into my freshman year of college.  We both went to Prairie Bible College, in Three Hills, Alberta.  I'll find the link for you another day  

We both had arrived VERY early to the dining room line.  And there were few people like that. lol  And were standing there waiting to eat.  And struck up one of those bored conversations.  In the midst of it I admitted I hated Sunday's there--because everything was closed up--and I missed my small local church so much.  The tab congregation was like 800-1,000 people.  GIGANTIC to me who'd come from a church of about 120.  Where I knew everyone, and everybody treated me like a princess   (Oh to go back to those days)

Anyhow, he admitted he too was homesick, and he missed his family etc.  I was amazed because all the guys I'd seen, met would NEVER admit to be lonesome. LOL  

He does NOT remember this conversation---but it left a BIG impression to me.

A day or two later we realized we shared a couple classes together.  And I'm was from the school that did NOT NOT NOT persue the guy. 

So I watched from afar.  And after a week or two of talking (casual conversation) he began to sit with me in my early morning class.  And then another class.  And soon we sat together in ALL classes we shared.  He began to carry my books for me as we went to chapel.  And began to sit with me in chapel. 

And eventually by mid-semester we were eating most meals together.  (Except Breakfast--cause I refused to get up for it lol---I don't think he's forgiven me for this yet--he was lonesome. LOL)

Everybody on campus assumed we were a couple.  But we were essentially just really good friends.  And I'd cast my eyes at other guys on campus.  Though NEVER dated any of them.

I actually NEVER dated.  I was 18 and had not had a date. And I did this by choice.  I knew marriage was a serious thing, and you dated because that person was a potential partner.  and that scared me.

So things proceeded along this way.  And by February or so I KNEW I was in love. LOL  But still nothing from him.  Except he followed me everywhere.  To my student job in the student lounge, to classes, to chapel, to meals, to class functions.  YOu get the picture.

All my acquaintances assumed we were engaged.  All my friends knew Rob was NEVER gonna get to first base. LOL Poor guy.

School got out in April.  By mid March I started to do some serious praying about this relationship.  And I layed out a prayer request to God in regards to Rob.  I said, Father if this is the man meant for me.  This summer he will start the letter writing. 

April came.  My mom & sister came to pick me up.  We were gonna go to Northern Alberta to see my grandparents for 4 days, then 2 days at a Bible Quiz Meet in Eastern Washington then home.  

So the VERY first day home--there was a letter waiting for me in my mailbox.  My hands shook so BADLY I was a basketcase.  Because my fleece had been answered and I HAD gotten a letter from him--what would it say.  I have it somewhere.  it was just a friendly letter.  no Love at the end, nothing.  Just what he was doing to look for work, etc.

We exchanged similar letters all summer.  Returned to college in the fall.  Nothing progressed.  Just really good friends.  We KNEW much about each other.  I began to loose hope--LITTLE did I know how long I really had to wait.

When I was a sophomore in high school I had laid another fleece before God about the man I would marry.  I told God do NOT have someone ask me out on a date until it is the one.  I do NOT trust myself to play this game.  About Novemember of first semester Rob finally got up the courage to ask me out. 

Only he didn't ask me lol--he let a card do it with a carnation & a vase.  The vase broke---awhile back   But I still have pictures.  I was beaming from ear to ear.  Oh for a scanner--you guys would have a MAJOR laugh at me.

Did we date more--no.  LOL  Rob was broke broke broke.  We continued on as usual.  We did do some nice walks.  NO physical contact as that was NOT allowed on our campus.  And we would have been terrified of it anyhow. LOL

Sophomore year quickly slipped by and we parted ways.  And continued to write letters.

Halfway through that summer Rob wrote me to say he could not scrounge the penny's to come back to school--so he'd be staying home at the local university. I was devastated.  But soon moved on.

We cooresponded through our Junior Year.  And towards the end of our Junior Year--I had a VERY VERy vivid dream that Rob would be coming onto campus as a suprise to me.  I KNEW it was real.  I knew so much I told 3 friends that he would be coming.  I have no idea what they thought of that.

That weekend.  I got a phone call from a friend.  Can you meet me at such & so place.  It was a friend I hadn't talked to in awhile....I suppose I said.  I headed down the stairs.  A voice in my head said "Rob is here."

The voice was right.  I firmly believe God intervened.  Cause I would have passed out if I hadn't had that encouragement and warning. LOL

We had a really good 4 days together.  NO physical contact except for a hug as we met and a hug as he left.  Both initiated by me.  No I love you's.  Just good friendship.

We continued to coorespond.  (Do you get the recurring theme)

I graduated in 1993.  We continued to coorespond.  In January of 1996  he wrote me that He wanted to "break" up.  I informed him I'd never known we were dating. LOL  And he told me he had a girlfriend who he wanted to propose to.

The world came crashing down for me.  It was a DARK winter.  I spent a lot of time in tears.  I was pathetic.  I believed God had intervened so clearly.  And yet what was this?  I found the grace to continue to pray for Rob and to even pray for that girl.  I had ended the coorespondance. 

By about April God told me I needed to write again.  It was a HARd letter.  I asked Rob for forgiveness for my anger.  And asked if we could go back to normal.  He did.

That fall I had the opportunity to go visit him.  My sister & I.  I went it was a 48 hour visit.  We did Yellowstone together.  It was just a normal friendship.  And I had no idea where the other girl was fitting into his life and NO desire to find out LOL.

We went back to writing.    New Years Eve Night he called me.  We talked for an hour and a half.  And I HATE the phone.  We wrote all the next year.  And 1997 New Years Eve he called me again.

By this time I had chosen to NOT worry about Rob anymore & was pursuing adopting my kids.  I was working a LOT.  And restoring my schoolhouse.  And living my life in freedom as a single woman.  And waiting for the paperwork to be done so i could get my children.

Fastforward to Fall of 1998.  6 months previously Rob had made arrangements to come up Labor Day Weekend.  I was thrilled, nervous, and desperately trying to hold onto my hard gained sanity as a single woman.  5 days before his visit I get the long awaited call.  I could come get my kids. 13 month old Zeria & 3.5 month old Samuel

Monday of Labour Day Rob came.  My house is in a shambels.  Mommyhood is HARD work.  I have 10 loads of unfolded laundry on the dining room table.  The house looks like a toddler lives there.  And I'm still delivering newspapers in the middle of the night--so there's newspaper crap everywhere. LOL

Zeria bonded with Rob instantly.  He changed diapers, he burped babies, he fed bottles.  We sight saw.  I showed him the Peninsula.  And I fell in LOVE SO bad.  I prayed, and prayed.

And one night I bawled something fierce on my moms shoulder, because he was a wonderful daddy.  And he'd be leaving in 2 days.  And he still showed no intrest in me.

Friday night we sat out under the most gorgeous stars I will ever see in my life.  He asked me what I thought about our relationship--how's that for putting somebody on the spot.  I stuttered around and said something completely incomprehensible.  We enjoyed the stars.  I cuddled the newborn in my arms. 

He said goodbye.  I hugged him.  And made it inside and then bawled, screamed at God.  And bawled some more.

Rob was gone.  WHY? God.  I shouted.  I did NOT understand.

3 weeks went by.  I was learning to be a mommy.  People on my job were giving me grief.  And I turn the answering machine down & the phone off--couldn't take another customer complaint.

Finally just before bedtime I got the courage to deal with the phone.

On the phone was the message.  "I love you, I want to move up, and persue this relationship, I think I will probably want to marry you?  How do you feel about this?" 

More screaming, jumping up & down and pure unadulterated joy.   6 months later we were married. 

Hi...my sister has still NOT had her baby and as of tomorrow will be two weeks over due which is when the pressure really begins to get induced etc.  She had a non-stress today and the baby passed with flying colors   So tonight they are doing everything they possibly can to encourage labor.  sex (ahem)  and some home remedys prescribed by the midwife...primrose oil???? I guess not sure.  Anyhow she'd really really appreciate prayer.  As she desperately wants a homebirth, but unless something happens very soon she's gonna end up having doctors INSIST on she have this baby.  Sooooo prayers please.  For a. the home birth, or my sisters acceptance that she will NOT be able to have one.  She couldn't last time, and she's still mad about that....so this has been really hard.  TIA

Good morning   I just gotta say I LOVE my husband.  Yesterday afternoon my contractions came on with a vengeance.  My kids were fortunately being reasonably well behaved....but I knew that wasn't gonna last.  IT was a half-hour before Rob's shift got off plus the hour 15 minute drive home.  I called and quietly said...if there's anyway you can leave early I'd appreciate it.  He said I'll leave right now. 

Okay this still gives me a good hour fifteen minutes of dealing with pain and kids.  I put the two big kids in front of the tv...and had the babies follow me to the bathroom.  I crawled into the tub and let the babies play with my tub water.   My big kids soon thought that looked more intresting then tv and joined me there.  So there we all sat for then next hour and a half.  Rob had to stop and do an errand *sigh*. 

The kids were not in the tub with me...they just thought it was really fun to float tub toys in the water with me LOL

The tub made the pain bearable....and my kids didn't trash the house (much)

Rob came home and said how are you..."I said I'm in the tub in the middle of the afternoon and the kids are wandering around the house trashing it...how do you think I am "  He said...that's what I was afraid of.  Sooooo he then took over the house for the rest of the day.

He realized we were low on milk.  Bundled 4 cranky kids up in the van took them to get milk and out to dinner.  Brought me home a nice meal while I enjoyed a quiet house for a bit.  As long as I layed flat the contractions were reasonable. 

He came home about 5.  Did the bath thing for the babies.  Brought firewood in in the dark.  Cleaned up the house.  And made his breakfast/lunch for tomorrow.  All while I just laid there feeling guilty.  Tucked the kids into bed, and he continued to function doing, doing doing all the things that should have been my job.  *sigh*

He was finally able to come over and ask me how I was doing.  Wellllll after this many hours of contractions my immediate response was to not say anything because I knew I was gonna cry.  Eventually I just did.  I sobbed.  And he just held me and let me cry.  And cry and cry.  I've bottled up the whiney tears from him all week....so there was a whole bunch trying to come out.  He finally drug me to bed at 7:30 in the evening, cause he could tell I was a basket case.  I cried some more there and ended up falling asleep with my arms wrapped around him. 

He told me to quit bottling up the tears, to NOT feel guilty about the work I wasn't doing and if I needed to cry to do so...it was better then being hysterical for an hour LOL.  (my words not his)

This blog is personal...and probably should make it private.  But it honors my husband so much.  Everywhere I go on the web people are badmouthing there hubbys...but mine is a saint.  And I can't believe that God allowed me to have him.   Thank you God!

Father God, show me how to handle this day, and give me the strength to honor you.  IN your sons name, Amen

Breathing in & out in & out in & out.  Well I guess the good news is that I'm NOT mad at my kids.  The bad news is I temporarily saw red at my BB that I visit so much LOL    Thought I'd out grown getting mad at them...guess I was wrong

Good morning.  Its beautiful & clear outside.  And my babies woke up reasonablly happy YEAH!

Zeria is ALREADY bugging about the craft project.  HEHE she LOVES to do stuff.  So I guess I'll have to do it fairly soon.  Kaylin is bugging about sharing my breakfast.  She already had hers and I am NOT sharing.  I can't eat for an hour after I get up because of my thyroid med, so she thinks she should get two meals hers & the one mom eats shortly after shes done.  LOL  I call her the MOOCH

Her and Jamari played peek-a-boo while eating breaky this morning.  It was VERY cute.  Mostly Kaylin was doing the BOOing and Jamari was doing the giggling.  AWWWWWWW  I'm constantly amazed how quickly Kaylin took to loving Jamari.  She has been the spoiled baby, and I figured she was gonna hate him, but nope she thinks he is SO cool!

I woke up having lost my poubt from yesterday so that makes me VERY happy.    I also woke up feeling kind of ornrey so actually started a I disagree with you thread at bf.com.  LOL  The ladies there take themselves VERY seriously and can be offended by pretty much anything.  snicker.  So yesterday it was a slam rednecks for shopping at Walmart and *gasp* spanking their kids in public.    I didn't touch the spanking issue that could get me flamed for life LOL, but I did stand up and defend my fellow rednecks.

I grew up in a family of loggers.  And I have to say rednecks are purdy darn cool.  And as I said in my thread I'd much rather meet a redneck when I break down then somebody in a business suit.  The redneck will help...the business suit guy well he's afraid of getting dirty, and will probably just keep on going.  Sooooooooooo there. 

I know earth shattering topics.  LOL  But hey gotta get riled about something once and awhile   And better a BB then my hubby

I'm really enjoying the new location of my computer.  Instead of staring at a wall I can look outside my windows and see the foothills & trees.  And my kids are so NOT enjoying the new location.  Cause well I can see EVERYTHING they are doing.  snicker.  And as a result things are much saner. 

Still praying about hiring somebody.  I sure would like someone to come at least once a week...but not sure who or how....thinking, thinking, thinking.

Father God, I thank you for this day and for your love.  I ask today that the kids would be well behaved and I would be patient with them.  I ask for Rob that you would help him to have a clear mind at work.   And I ask that Karla would have her baby ASAP.  In your sons name, Amen

' Afternoon.  Just got back from my sister's celebrating her sons bday.  She is now like 9 days overdue.  And getting VERY impatient about the birth of that there baby.  Party went quite well, especially considering how many people were inside her little tiny house.

Zeria has been whiney ALL day.  She has also had asthma (which I realize is a lot of the why behind the whiney)  Its getting very old however.   Bedtime is in a half hour.  And I'm ECSTATIC about that.

I spent this morning (4am-5am)  wide awake and praying for a solution to the next 7 weeks of low activity before the baby is born.  My kids are getting so restless, and I haven't got the ability to take them for our weekly McD run etc.    And there starting to resent it.  *sigh*

So went to town this morning (my run-away morning)  and went to a Discount Store and bought a bunch of craft stuff that I can do with them while I'm sitting on the couch.  Hopefully this is a success   I'm hiding the craft stuff so it is a ONLY when mommy is helping.  Zeria got a bunch of stuff in her stocking and its already gone, as she was just so careless with it.   

I btw HATE doing craft projects LOL, but my kids are getting so restless.    Sooooooooo here goes nothing   

I also found a really cute magazine about paper dolls.  Gonna puruse that and see if I can't get inspired.  I used to love paper dolls when I was little.  These are more fancy ones and way cool. 

Rob did me a big favor and moved the computer for me, so instead of hiding in a corner (which was more astetically pleasing)  moved it so its up against the back of the couch.  This way I can see 98% of our downstairs and the 2% I can't see is OFF-limits (bathroom & kitchen garbage LOL)  This will hopefully avoid some of my mess pictures.  Which though they are very entertaining for you are getting VERY VERY VERY old to me.

I'm down today.  I flunked parenting big time yesterday.  So hoping my new measures will keep things flowing a little better.  I really really would like to hire somebody to come into play with the kids.  Have the money, but can't really find anybody.  *sigh*  I may talk to our Monday night baby sitter and see if she's willing to come one day a week, but not sure yet.  Part of me feels guilty in hiring somebody to "play" with them, but I'm so NOT able to play with them right now, so I don't know what to do.  *sigh*

Jamari has been an angel this week for the most part.  And I would say this has been the least stress free week in regards to him.  He has gone from screaming every time I touch him, to loving to be cuddled.  Like he would cuddle all day if he could get away with it.   I introduced him to a binky this week and he LOVES it!  It has been so nice to have several ways to soothe him.      I realized in looking at his life story book that when Jamari lived with his birth mom he had one.  But he did NOT have one with his foster mom.  Some people really really hate them, so that may be why, not sure.  That foster mom was definitely not my favorite.  Anyhow I thought I'd see if he still wanted one and he DOES!  And as I can't nurse him to satisfy his sucking instinct the binky will have to do. 

Father God, please do NOT let me cry on Rob tonight.  Its not fair for him to half to listen to my vents so often.  Let me find the joy of your salvation once again.  I ask that tomorrow would go much more smoothly then Thursday did, and that I would be able to maintain a sense of humor all day long.  I thank you for my big kids being SO helpful, and my babies being so cuddly.  I ask that there would be NO major disasters tomorrow, and that my contractions would stay away.  In your sons name Amen