Good afternoon.  Had a midwife appt this morning.  Everything looks fine.  She saved me a extra trip and did my tsh test for me so I don't have to go to my primary care provider. 

Baby is doing just fine heart rate around 140.  And I'm officially at 30 weeks....so gonna stop worrying about the contractions as much.  as I had them from 30 weeks on last pregnancy and my cervix is still NOT changing.  NOt gonna do anything stupid, just gonna relax a bit kwim?

Oh and btw pregnancy has got to be the best diet plan around.  I had this MAJOR chocolate/sugar binge yesterday.  And when I weighed in I'd lost 1/2 a pound

I am officially still 2.5 pounds BELOW my original pre-pregnancy weight.  Now in my mind I'm thinking I lost 30 pounds when Kaylin was born if I do that this pregnancy....HMMMM I could actually start looking a little less heavy now that would just hurt my feelings oh so much

My 11 year old sister had a VERY close call last night.  They were out in the field doing firewood.   And my 14 year old brother was driving the truck.  (This is normal on a farm)  Anyhow he drove them back into the house and was getting ready to park and my sister stood up before she parked.  She fell out of the back of the truck and landed on her head.    They had to take her to the ER and they did xrays and a cat-scan.  She was complaining of tingling in her legs.   She got a clean bill of health, but is VERY sore today.  Don't think she'll be helping me tomorrow.    But VERY glad she's ok.   

Father God, I pray that the kids would not be restless today, and would not be whiney.  I ask that I would have patience with the munchkins and know when to entertain them, and know when they need to entertain themselves In your sons name, Amen

Good morning   Its beautiful outside, and it wasn't a half hour ago LOL  Gotta love February weather.  I have this dream of going hiking with my family today.  We love a nice chilly winter hike.  Bundled up in coats & sweaters & snow suits.  Playing on the beach, or beside a water fall.  I'll hold onto that dream for next winter.  Definitely NOT recomended by the midwife for someone dealing with PTL  

Kaylin is currently "helping" Jamari eat his breakfast.  And playing Boo  Boo Booo with him.  VERY cute

I am thoroughly enjoying my new found hobby of scrapbooking.  Wanta see my latest??  This one is my favorite so far.  I've been waiting to do it...cause I had it in my mind from the beginning. 

I just took this with my camera, as I don't own a scanner, so you can't read the writing at the bottom of the picture.  This is Zeria & Samuel & mommy when they were 15 and 5 months.  And we were on a lovely fall hike with daddy.  He'd come up to interview for jobs so he could move up and get to know us.    It was a GORGEOUS day...and an awesome night.  How many guys do you know who are willing to take 2 kids & a girlfriend out to the most expensive restaurant in town.  bwahaha.  It was fun and a day with the bestest memories. 

I have definitely gotten addicted to this scrapbooking thing LOL, and its nice to have something to look forward to doing that I can actually do right now.    

Zeria is feeling much better this morning.  A headache and NO fever.  So she'll probably be running around by afternoon.  Probably could of had my friend over after all, but we'll try next week.   My friend's dh also works at the prison.  And we *gasp* actually have the same schedule.  Which makes getting together easier, as most people do NOT have Monday & Tuesday as their weekends lol 

Jamari cried again last night.  And we did the tough love thing and let him do so.  Its awful, but its the only way to handle babies having a drug withdrawal.  And his crying lasted a lot shorter then when we fussed with him the night before.  Even if you do feel like the worlds awfulest parents not cuddling/singing, rocking etc. 

Well, I haven't had breaky yet, so I should get off and start this morning.  And continue on doing this day. 

Father God, I thank you for a new day with less stress.  I pray that we will honor you throughout it.  And continue to grow & learn about you, In your sons name, Amen

Have I mentioned lately that I have an awesome husband???  Well I do.

Remember I told you what a LOUSY night sleep we got Saturday.  Well last night was 100x worse.    Jamari was up and screaming for 2 hours in the night.  AFter the first hour & a half he was in bed with us.  And would settle down as long as I held him (a major personality switch)  But the second Rob talked he would jump and scream.      His whole body was twitching.  This is his first BAD drug withdrawl night he's done since we've had him.  It is so hard to watch.  There's nothing that can be done, except hold him tight.  And with some drug babies, that's the worst thing you can do because it scares them more.  Fortunately Jamari tolerated the cuddling, as long as nobody talked.   Eventually he fell asleep between us, and so we shared our queen sized bed with a twitchy 1 year old.   He's been fussy all day long.  And I've been exhausted.  I started contractions which woke me from a sound sleep about 45 minutes BEFORE Jamari started screaming, and they finally stopped about 7:15 tonight.  It was a long haul. 

Today I was *supposed* to go grocery shopping.  We're talking, no milk, no cereal, you know the important things in life.  But the contractions were overwhelming, and the thought of dragging kids around with dh so I didn't have to lift was even more overwhelming.  So instead we got up no breakfast food in the house *ugh*  looked at each other and said RESTAURANT   So we took our 4 squirmy kids out to breaky and they were extremely well behaved.  (And we actually ate at a non-family restaurant too MMMM MMM)   Brought our kids home and all took a nap.  Soooooooo tired.

Rob let me sleep when the kiddos woke up, and I did so until 12:30 this afternoon.  The rest of the afternoon I spent cuddling cranky, screaming babies...dependson the time of day which one I was cuddling.  And finally we decided to call the doctor and make appt for Jamari as we were concerned about his ears. 

Unfortunately tonight was *supposed* to be our date night.  So Jamari got to come along with us to the doctors appointment...they squeezed us in at 7:30 tonight.  His ears are fine.....but he's still cranky.    Sooooooooo who knows whats wrong.

Zeria when she heard the word doctor and that Jamari was going on the date pretty darn instantly got "sicK" herself.  We weren't buying it, and didn't give her a ton of sympathy.  Mom, my head hurts,  etc etc.    Welllllllllllllllllll we got home tonight after Jamari's doctor visit, and baby sitter's holding her saying she has a fever.  Yep, fever of 102.9.  Okay now I'm feeling bad about the lack of sympathy earlier.  *sigh*  She's on a mattress in our room tonight.  Gonna be another long night.

And what exactly did we do on our date night??  We went yes thats right we went grocery shopping.  It seemed easier to do it together WITHOUT kids.  *sigh*  What has life come to????   So this is where the good dh awards comes in.  He was content to go grocery shopping on the one kid free night a week we have, because he KNEW how much stress it was gonna save us in the long run.  And oh it was nice to do it without the munchkins along (well Jamari was there, but oh well)

I was soooooo proud of myself on Sunday.  I actually got the courage/organization to invite somebody over for lunch and to visit.  (She has kids my age of course lol)  Guess what?? tomorrow was supposed to be the day, and well...Zeria's sick.  ROFL  what else could go wrong?  Oh well she took a rain check for next week, and we'll try again.  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Now at 8:30 at night Dh is hauling groceries in the house, load after load.  Do you have any idea how much 2 weeks of groceries is for a household of 6.  Oy are we gonna be in trouble when we hit the teen-age years  I think we're gonna have to take out a second mortgage

Oh and he isn't just hauling them in, he's putting them away.  I LOVE Him   And tomorrow, yes tomorrow has to be a BETTER day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My life....

screaming babies, poopy diapers, and contractions.  I'll be back when I have something real to say.

Good morning  

We had a lovely night last night   Our Youth Group put on a fund raiser Valentines dinner.  (Sound familiar Sandi????)  It was very relaxing and as they seated us rather then seating ourselves we got to visit with a couple we normally wouldn't have...and had a very nice  time.  Rob stayed up late so we could go, and couldn't believe how much he enjoyed himself.  He doesn't normally get to go to functions like this because of his screwy work schedule.  But chose to stay up after his bedtime so he could go.  Unfortunately my kids didn't cooperate in the get daddy sleep after he's already been up too late   Kaylin was up for a long time in the middle of the night, and Samuel woke up with some kind of aches.  (mostly the I'm awake in the middle of the night and bored aches )   And as I'm not manilpulating stairs unless I absolutely have to..poor Rob was the one stuck going up, down, up, down.  We also woke up several times, just because.  (Gotta love a night like that)  Anyhow Rob is supposed to be working "effeciently" this morning.  BWAHAHAHA  I'm so glad Sundays are a dead day at his job.  And pray that he does ok (without too much caffeine lol)

As an added benefit for me my little brother was our babysitter and rather then us having to run him home late he spent the night.  So I don't have to haul babies to the car this morning.  I get contractions every Sunday because of all the lifting I have to do....so this was a nice treat.   And as a second benefit my other little brother will be coming over after church to cut firewood, so he can carry them back in.  Woo HOo I don't have to carry babies this Sunday. 

Though I have to say my little brother wasn't too impressed how early my kids get up   Oh well, he'll survive.  After all 3 of those kids are his siblings

Father God, I thank you for this morning, I ask that things go smoothly and we get everything done calmly and nobody gets dirty after being dressed.  In your sons name, Amen

Good morning   This is what I woke up to this morning....

It is so gorgeous outside   My babies are still playing with their cheerios.  And my big kids are watching our new tv/vcr combo.  Our old tv was exactly 9 inches wide, and I guessing 15 years old.  It was also a tv/vcr combo...but the vcr was dying.  Probably could of fixed it again...but we splurged and got a 19 inch so we can actually see the picture on the screen  

Yesterday was a busy day, and I was just so tired.  When I finally got to sit down at the computer it took me over an hour to get my computer working long enough to get connected.  (bump, bump, bump, bump)  How I envy all of you with DSL  but by the time we have DSL out in our neck of the woods...there will be something much faster available LOL  So instead of computing I finished my next scrapbook page.  This is the project I decided to under take while on limited movement.  I'm brand new at it.....but thought this one turned out pretty good.  (Although a teensy crooked ) 

   Zeria is now happy.  She finally got to hold/see her new cousin.  She's been bugging all week, and did NOT understand why she couldn't go into the hospital to see her.  After all she got to go there to see "her" baby when kaylin was born.  Oh well she survived   She loved that baby so much and kept petting her hair and giving her kisses.  Very precious.  And oh so gentle.  The outfit Sarah's wearing is very familiar to me LOL  it was Kaylin's.     Oh and yes Zeria has a bruise on her head she fell on the stairs.  But the red sticky stuff well thats the sucker she was eating just before we got to my sister's house.   Gotta love kids.

Kaylin took a look at the baby and I said you want to touch her...and she ran for cover in daddy's lap.  She LOVES her baby dolls.......but apparently not real live dollys.

Had contractions yesterday after a nice 3 day break.  But because Rob was home was able to take it easy, and they never amounted to much.   

Jamari was such a sweet child last night and woke up screaming bloody murder at 10:15 pm.  It took us over an hour to get him calmed back down.  *sigh*  He had a VERY poopy/grose nasty EWWWWWWW diapy.  But normally if we change him we can lay him back down and he's fine...not last night.  AFraid he's getting sicked as he was slightly congested etc last night too.  But fortunately once he fell back asleep he stayed asleep (woo hoo)   Poor Rob though he had to go to work at 2:30 and didn't exactly get the sleep necessary for it.  Jamari does NOT whimper.  He thinks whimpering is a waste of time.  HE SCREAMS LOUDLY  there is no ignoring it, avoiding it, or ear plugging it...because it is LOUD!   Gotta love a kid who knows what he wants.

Kaylin has learned to love the out of doors.  Its gotten warm enough we've been able to sneak them outside for a little bit each day.  So everytime she see's anybody getting ready to go outside.  I.E. to get firewood, go get the mail etc.  She grabs her coat & her boots and comes running.  And is extremely ticked when we tell her its just a 30 second errand and she should stay inside.  Oh well at least she's gonna have a lot of fun this spring and summer. 

Next month our number one priority will be to get up a fence outside that encompases the swing set & pea gravel pile (my kids sand pile LOL)  As much of our Adoption respite fund that is needed will go into the necessary wood.  And I will be able to be up & around enough that I can watch the babies so Rob can build it.  It will be SO nice to be able to kick the big kids out and know they are safe.  The county road just runs so close I can't have them outside without watching them like a hawk.  Though they are very very good about NOT touching the road, I just do NOT want to risk it kwim?    Looking anxiously forward to that fence.   

I'll live with the air holes in my bedroom and the lovely insulation wall-paper if I can have my fence. 

Father God, I ask for the energy needed for this day.  And for the self-control in dealing with my kids when they make messes.  I thank you for your love, and for your goodness.  You are a great God.  I ask that sis would continue to heal, and to NOT overdue it.  In your sons name, amen

This is my youngest son poubting.  He was mad cause mommy told him no.  So he buried his head on the floor and lay there for FIFTEEN MINUTES.  Mommy was laughing too hard to feel sorry for him

And TA DA............. my niece

Bil is wearing the clothes he's had on for the last 4 days (EWW)  fortunately he was headed out to finally get a shower.     I know you can barely see the baby, but trust me she's cute

Good morning.  Well its a day.  LOL 

Yes, I got to hold the baby yesterday.  For TWO hours, when I got there her dh was desperate to get out and do some bank errands etc.  (mostly I think he just wanted out LOL)  So i stayed with my sister who was not allowed to lift anything yesterday and let him run away.  So I got to snuggle the baby, and felt guilty getting to hold her that long LOL  But it was definitely nice!

Her name is Sarah Alexis she was 8 lbs 14 ounces, 22 inches long.  Born just before midnight Tuesday night.  My sister has come to understand that the c-section was necessary.  She was dialated at 7 centimeters for 19 hours.  And when they put the pit drip in the baby was distressed.  Heart beat dropped to a 100.  That scared her big time, and she realized the c-section was necessary.

When they did the c-section they said that Sarah was STUCK and would not have come out.  So it was a very necessary surgery.  And sis is just very thankful her baby was born.  And that its a girl.  She's still in shock over that.  She wanted a girl VERY badly, but wouldn't allow herself to think it was gonna happen.  She has ZERO girl clothes...except what I brought her in the hospital yesterday.  So this baby is gonna be wearing her brothers blues until her mommy can get out shopping.....or maybe auntie will have to go shopping tomorrow HEHEHEHEHEHE.

Well gonna make this a short blog, as hoping to go see baby before dh goes to work.  Have a great day!

Father God, thank you for Sarah's safe delivery and sis' health.  I ask that you would allow them both to recover quickly, and things to go well.  In your sons name, Amen

My sister had her baby.  After 30 plus hours of labor, the homebirth did not happen she went into the hospital.  And after several hours on the pit drip where nothing happened she ended up having a c-section just before midnight last night.

Its gonna be a LONG road to recovery for her, as she is VERY anti-doctor. 

But

Its a Girl!!!! Which I know she'll be thrilled by.  As she already has a son, and desperately wanted a daughter.  I just continue to pray for her that she will realize she tried her hardest.

Last night when they told her the homebirth wasn't going to work, and she needed to go into the hospital.  She started crying and said she was a failure.  The midwife said..."NO, a failure would be to refuse to listen to us because of your stubborness and have the baby hurt or dead." 

I'm ecstatic about the birth of her daughter, but terrified over how much pp depression she's gonna cope with AS she was SO determined that she was gonna do it the "right" way and do it drug free & at home.  Praying for her.

Hoping to see my niece today, but need to see when it will be ok.  I know she's gonna be tired etc.  Plus Rob has to go to work at 10:30 and I don't really have anybody to do kid care.  But something work itself up.  I will probably call the girl who cleans my house (today) and see if she would like an extra hour of work bbysitting my kids tonight.    I'd love to see baby this morning, but I do NOT know how exhausted sis is gonna be.  Anybody know what to say to somebody who had a C-section when they were so adamently opposed to them????

Father God, I thank you for this new life, and that you kept both sis & baby safe.  I just ask that she would accept that she did her best, but for whatever reason you wanted her to go through this.  I ask that she would heal quickly, and that her hubby would be able to get some extra money/time off to help her.  In your sons name, Amen

Well my heart hasn't been into blogging today.  Had a lot of stuff mulling through my head. 

I came home yesterday from my tests kinda stressed.  And the evening went down hill from there. 

I didn't sleep most of the night because my head was whirling a mile a minute and dh was mad at me.  (long story spare you the details) 

At 4:30 or some awful time of the morning I apparently fell asleep because I had a stinkin' nightmare.  And could NOT wake up from it.  And in my nightmare I kept crying and trying to scream Rob help me I need you to help me...and he just kept snoring next to me.  Finally when I stopped hollering for Rob and said God help me...I woke up from my dream.  And was able to wake Rob up and ask him to pray.  We then proceeded to talk for a good 45 minutes. 

It was good conversation, and we have gotten along remarkably well since then as a result.

My midwife LOST my glucose test, so I had to go in this morning and take the #$@*&#$@( thing over again.  Part of yesterday's stress was I was so blonde when I was driving yesterday that I turned from a left turn lane and ALMOST hit somebody.  I was shaken so badly and that was before the stupid tests I had to take.  I just could not concentrate yesterday to save my neck  

I didn't tell Rob that yesterday however as things were just not flowing very good between us yesterday.  We weren't fighting...it was just off some how.  Anyhow in the middle of the night/morning conversation I shared how badly I'd scared myself and he offered to drive me in this morning.  Which made me VERY greatful.  I passed the glucose test, and we went to McD's to get me some breakfast to break my fast, and the kids a hashbrown each (cause they insisted )  And then we let them play in the playland which they ALL enjoyed. 

Got home to find out my sister is finally in labor.  Unfortunately she's been in labor since last night and nothing is happening   The midwife desperately wanted her to go into the hospital at noon time, but sis somehow conned her way out of that...not sure where things stand yet, but think she's gonna have to go in soon.  The baby is very overdue, and 24 hours of labor is NOT good for anybody. 

We've had a gorgeous day today, and I went and sat outside and watched babies while Rob puttered in our yard.  We still have a bunch of wood to cut up from the never-ending lean-to project.  So he did that for a while.   I wanted to be helping him SOOOOOOOOOO badly...but I was a very good girl.

All the stupid tests I took yesterday I passed with flying colors.  Except the fetal fibernectin test....still waiting on the results for that one.  Until I hear about them, I can't focus or function very well.

I'm struggling a lot right now.  I feel very alone in my house.  I went to Sunday School desperate to talk to somebody, and it just didn't happen.  At my husbands request I'm going to be taking a leave of absence from the class.  I am not enjoying it.  For reasons I've mentioned before, and other longstanding reasons.  The teacher is consistently 10 minutes late which means class which was supposed to start at 10 doesn't start until 10:15 (if we're lucky)  And class which is supposed to get over at 10:50 never gets over until at least 5 minutes AFTER the service starts.  As I have kids to pick up in order to go to service I always have to walk out.  And as the class is held in the nursery...I can't leave my kids in the nursery until after the class if over.  Which means I have to disturb the service to get up & walk out with my babies, or just keep them with me as long as there reasonably quiet.  It's been a long standing discussion with the teacher.  I'm in charge of the nursery room, and can't even get my attendants in there.  For MONTHS Rob has asked me to make the ladies move the class.  *sigh*  I asked the teacher and she said she "promised" to start and end on time. She hasn't kept that promise.  I'm not sure where to go with it anymore.  I deeply respect this lady, and she has a lot of good to say.  BUT  if I can get to church on time (usually 10 minutes early) with 4 little kids and no hubby to help....why the heck can't she get her & her hubby (no kids) on time.  Okay...enough said or I'm gonna get frustrated again.  Gotta love church politics.  Suppose I should just call her and ask her to move to a new room huh? 

*sigh*

Anyhow as I started to say...my spiritual needs are NOT being met in the class.  I've been going because its the "good" Christian thing to do.  I was feeling much more refreshed when I was visiting with a friend out in the main sanctuary during SS.  Rob has asked me to go back to that.  I think I will FINALLY respect him on this....even if it will make him pass out in shock   I went back to the class because I felt guilty...but I'm still not learning or growing there...am I asking too much??? I don't know. 

All I know is I'm incredibly lonesome.  And this class was my only mom time, and its not meeting my needs.  *sigh*  The women's Bible Study I was going to has been cancelled permanently, and there's really nothing else available for a mom with 4 babies to drag out.  I could go into a church in town for MOPS or something, and may do that this Fall...but for now I'm feeling extremely lonesome.

Of course it doesn't help, that my net time has been cut to a minimum so I'm not even getting my chat time there.  (GROWL)  So poor Rob is getting all my venting.  And as dear as my husband is that's just not fair.  Women need somebody they can talk to and rehash the same thing 6 ways until the "real" solution is given at.  Rob's pretty patient for me to rehash it Maybe once...then he's ready to be exasperated.  LOL  Can't blame him poor guy.

I of course realize that my hormones are coming into play as well....and all this energy inside me that can't go anywhere is not helping.  In other words I just want to

WHHHHINE!!

Sorry, my blogs seem to be that way so often, life is just kinda overwhelming right now.

Father God, I need your strength and your encouragement.  I ask for you to lift me up, and give me the courage to continue on.  I ask for a relaxing evening tonight and a GOOD nights sleep.  I ask that sis would dialate the rest of the way immediately, and the baby and her would both be healthy and safe.  In your sons name, Amen