February 16, 2002

  • I found myself struggling with my children this week.  They've had headaches & a teensy bit of flu bug.  Not enough to make them sick, just enough to make them meltdown everytime their told no, they think they might be told no, and any time anybody else crosses them in the slightest. 


    Many times this week it has resulted in 3 kiddos (at the least) sobbing heartbroken tears at the same time.  Has made for an extremely long week.  To top it off of course I've reached the part of my pregnancy where you get up to go to the bathroom like every hour and a half, so I'm running on empty.


    Last night I actually only woke up twice, which still kinda amazes me, but this morning I feel dehydrated which means the REASON I didn't wake up, is I didn't drink enough yesterday.  Guess that not drinking is not an option lol.


    Anyhow all this to say....I'm struggling to see anything in any of my kids that I like hehehe.....including the fact that I'm currently typing this blog with Kaylin on my lap.  She whines to get down...I lift her up to put her down, and she screams until I pick her back up.  Guess what its only 7:58 in the morning......gonna be a LONG day especially as Rob isn't home until almost 4:00 tonight.   So...this blog is FOR ME.  And I need to remind myself of the things I love about each of my children.  If you want to read go ahead....otherwise move along I won't be offended


    Zeria;  Zeria is my helper.  She's always willing to pitch in and excited to find ways to be a part.  She gets very peeved when I tell her a job is too hard for her.  She loves all of her baby brothers & sisters, and is 98% of the time very gentle with them.  I love making her smile it melts my heart.  And she is definitely my snuggle baby. 


    Samuel;  His enthusiasm for life.  He is constantly enthusiastic about something.  And telling it to all of us at the top of his lungs. hehehe.   He loves to give quick hugs, and say I love you mom...or his latest in all seriousnes....MOM, I like you   He is my finder in the house.  If its missing he knows where it is...shoot he's probably the one who made it go missing~~but we won't go there k   Under all of his boyish ways he has the most gentle spirit that can be crushed very quickly.


    Kaylin;  Kaylin is "my" baby.  Yes, Jamari is younger, but Kaylin is my first child from my womb.  So this has a special signifigance.  And as she is still nursing we have a bond that way, that is unique and different from my other kids.  She is my curious George.  She has explored things none of my other kids have even considering exploring. hehehe.  And is always so excited when she finds a new treasure.  She at 23 months is also my neat nick.  She doesn't like things where they don't belong.  If she finds the wet wipes on the floor she likes to return them to the table they "live" on. 


    Jamari.  Jamari is harder for me to write about.  He's still new.  I've only had him since December 8th.  And the bonding process with him has been so difficult.  I think the biggest moment for me right now his true joy in playing peek-a-boo.  If nothing else will distract him that will, and it might even bring a smile.   He can be very snuggly when he decides, and it is so precious to hold him when he is like that. 


    I love my children, and I'm so greatful to God for them.  Especially now that Kaylin is semi-happy playing on the floor   I have to admit however that the thought of adding number 5 in a couple months is beyond over whelming.  So I constantly am turning to God for wisdom, patience etc.  My theme verse right now is..."If any of you lack wisdom let him ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault."  Every time I'm completely exasperated with Jamari or others, and the tried and true methods that worked to calm him down last time don't work....and I'm ready to completely loose it God reminds me ask me for help.  And he gives me a small victory to help me hold on a little longer. 


    I think, hope, and pray...that because the two of us have struggled so hard in learning the ropes that this will bring a stronger bond in the long run.  Sure know that its brought me closer to God.  LOL


    Father God, thank you for my children in who I am so proud, and can get so exasperated with.  I ask that you give me the strength for today.  Do not let me panic and look to tomorrow, but focus on today.  I ask that you will help me to endure in spite of the cramps I'm feeling today, and the exhaustion.  I ask for wisdom in dealing with each of my cranky kids, and the wisdom to know what is best for the munchkins who are not necessarly feeling good.  I pray for Rob too who is starting to drag as well, that you will give him an easy day at work today, and the encouragement to keep struggling on.  In your sons name, Amen

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