For those of you confused about my due date...I'm due April 24th. (give or take a week~~early ultrasound said the 16th) Contractions are NOT a good thing right now.
Mine have stopped (finally) And I will NOT be lifting anything if at all possible. Or doing anything, except walking around my house. No housework, nothing. 10 week vacation here I come.
I'm not on bedrest yet. But it is coming unless I'm VERY VERY VERY good! And my cervix stays VERY CLOSED.
Contractions on and off since 11:30. Strong enough that they woke me from my nap. Not as strong right now. (its 3:30)
I overdid it. I carried Kaylin & Jamari down the stairs together. (40+ pounds) I let Kaylin nurse. (We both enjoyed it) Feeling guilty for both.
WAs asked to join a Contemporary Worship Team tonight. I want to do it so so so so badly. I haven't done anything challenging with my music in eons. *sigh* I don't think Rob's gonna be saying yes. (he doesn't know about the contractions yet)
My midwife gave me great lee-way as to when I call in. (Call before I'm wanting to push or can't breathe through them) Use your judgment. If they go on forever call. If their getting super strong. etc etc. I'm not gonna call. Unless they get stronger and longer. But we are rearranging our house, so I don't have to deal with cranky babies and getting them up in the morning.
I think tomorrow Rob will be putting the wall up in our bedroom (unless I'm in the hospital--please God No!). And then we will put Kaylin's crib in the room next to ours. She sleeps soundly, so shouldn't keep us awake too badly.
Zeria & Samuel helped me rearrange the entryway, and Jamari's portable crib is now in it. (No I did NOT lift anything). He's currently sleeping there for his afternoon nap. This means one gentle lift out of the crib. No carrying them down the stairs, or the disaster that I had yesterday of listening to Kaylin scream. If Rob doesn't get the wall up...Kaylin will be moving to our LIving room....something I'd rather not do. *sigh*
Well, I was seriously hoping that Monday was a fluke. And not gonna repeat itself. Guess I was wrong.
*sigh*
Good morning. Well last night was exciting. Okay in a parenting kinda way. LOL Samuel decided sleep was highly overrated, and was thumping around in his room until 9:30 last night at which point he woke Jamari & Kaylin BOTH up. Kaylin was soothed pretty quickly with a tippy cup. Jamari was NOT. Rob and I were each up and down the stairs about 4x a piece. And did NOT get the kids settled down until 10:30. We finally put Samuel in the girls room so he could "sleep". INstead they had a party. *sigh*
So he came downstairs to sleep on a mat in our room. Zeria then proceeded to start crying because she "missed" Samuel. Really she was just trying to convince us she should get to come downstairs too. Two trips up & down the stairs (one for me one for Rob) We'd convinced her it was bedtime. Jamari was convinced shortly thereafter. We were both exhausted, frustrated etc. And poor Rob had to get up at 2:30 am...and was wide awake. So we finally get ourselves sleepy. Just fading off...........................and a nice LOUD wind storm picks up. Our room has not got the sheet rock up yet...so the wind storm joined us in our bedroom. We have a big tree outside our house that makes us nervous etc, etc. It was a LONG LONG night. LOL
Good news the kiddos slept in if 7:30 counts as sleeping in 
. So go upstairs to get them. Kaylin is used to being carried down in the morning, and I'm NOT supposed to be doing that anymore. So she's a bit fussy in that regard. Go to pick up Jamari, and he's got poop all down his legs & of course I get it on my hand. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! So balancing Jamari on one hip, and trying to convince kaylin she can walk down the stairs. Each step takes about 5 seconds to negotiate. And the big kids are talking 5 miles a minute. About half way down Kaylin decides she aint'a movin' NO MORE NO HOW NO WAY. So I swing her down the last few steps. Put her on the floor holding her hand, and proceed to step on her toe. She starts screaming in earnest. Jamari has to be cleaned NOW! and Kaylin wants to be held YESTERDAY. Poopy mess gets the attention. *sigh*
Kaylin follows us to where I'm changing screaming and looking very put out that I "hurt" her and didn't cuddle. Jamari starts squirming everywhere spreading poop as he goes. I tell him no. He goes hysterical. (he almost looks like he's having a seizure he freaks so bad some times) So he's flipping out, and I'm trying to clean up poop...and Kaylin's screaming. Can I PLEASE go back to bed now?
I carry Jamari to a crib in my bedroom kept for his screaming fits. Lay him in it with his bottle and close the door. He stops crying the second the door is closed. I go pick up crying Kaylin and she instantly stops. We snuggle for about 5 minutes. I go get Jamari snuggle with him. Breakfast is served. And its all of 8:00. I think I just did three days work. 
So far the rest of the day has gone much smoother, and I'm sooooooooooo glad! Because.....I think I would have had a couple kids for sell cheap otherwise 
Father God, I ask today that the kids would be well behaved. And that I would handle the pressure's of demands well. I ask for Rob to NOT make mistakes in his very sleepy state at work. And that things would go well today. In your sons name, Amen.
Good morning. As soon as I get off here I will do my hair, and the head out. Its grocery shopping day. I haven't done a real one since December 24th. Its been a LONG haul. I typically go on the 10th and 25th (paydays) but for some reason this one just seemed to drag. We're out of everything. Cereal, cheeze, any form of snack, toilet paper (1/2 a roll left )
Last night when I was bored, I tri-chemed these. The top one says 100% Breastfed.
And this one says Mommys Milk the ONLY choice. Their not professional, but I think my newborn will look cute in them don't you 
I'm almost done my baby-quilt. Will take pictures when its finished.
I'm gonna sneak out early and go for breakfast. (MMM MMM) And then Rob is gonna come and go shopping with me, so I don't have to lift any thing. This oughta be fun. 4 kids & a hubby grocery shopping~~NOT! Oh well, it was either that, or send him shopping. And we all know how well men love to shop.
Watched Survivor finale last night. It was a much cleaner season this year. No super "enemies" and no people you absolutely could NOT stand. My favorite (Big Tom) didn't make it, but my second favorite (Ethan) did...so I'm happy. Rob is so greatful he works Survivor night as he thinks its the stupidest show on earth
I'm running a blank as to what to say today. So I'll leave you with the thought I woke up with.
I had a battle with myself last night when Rob got home. Here I am limited to doing essentially nothing. And he's starting to talk about continuing our building project. Yes, I agree its probably time. But I so resent the fact that he thinks he can do all "my" chores, "his chores" plus the construction. And I got very very angry. God however gave me the self-control to NOT say a word about it when I was angry. (a miracle) And was praying hard.
I was finally able to share quietly with Rob how much I was struggling. HE understood (sort of) and we went to sleep. Anyhoo the thought I woke up with was one my SS teacher has talked about a lot in the last few months. Her & her hubby went to a Marriage Enrichment weekend (or something similar) And all through the weekend they were told to look at their husbands and say.....
You are NOT my enemy!
So often I start thinking that my husband is my enemy. He's not he's my partner. He'd do pretty much anything for me that he possibly could. HE encourages me. Pretends he's interested in my latest hobby on the computer. Encourages my crafts. Provides me with a LOT of time to myself. Takes over chores when I'm tired without EVER complaining. He LOVES me. HE told me that again last night.
When I told him how useless I felt. He said...
I did NOT marry you to do laundry, I married you because I love you!
I think I might have to bump this blog up a LOT over the next few weeks.....as the less a person does, the more introspective one becomes, and the more the thoughts lead to depression.
I asked myself a LOT last night Why, am I almost on bedrest again. What's the lesson I'm supposed to be learning. And I think its to live with joy in WHATEVER circumstances I'm in. So working on that.
Father God, I ask for the energy to do the shopping today. And to NOT over due it. I thank you for your help and strength. I love you. In your sons name, Amen
Good morning. I feel much more rested this morning. The house is cold today. BRRR but it will be remedied as soon as Rob gets the fire going. Kaylin is gonna be her not-so-cheerful self today. (Which she was yesterday) I'm suspecting a new tooth. And she does NOT teeth well.
I did a LOT of liquid embroidery on my baby quilt yesterday. Usually in the evenings I clean the house while Rob is at work. As that was out...I just sat and colored the quilt LOL.
Had a few stray contractions but nothing that became a pattern. So those are just fine. Running a tinge scared of course, but this too shall pass.
My kids were all dressed up Sunday in matching orange. And I thought oh they look so cute I just have to take a picture. But wasn't in the mood to try to get 4 to sit still. So thought well Zeria & Jamari are sitting so cute & cuddly together I'll take a picture. So we have try one. Okay well we look like we're sleeping. HMMMM
Then we have try two where Jamari says UN UNH I AINT sitting still FORGET YOU!
Okay I'm stubborn lets try again. Well Jamari's finally sitting still & smiling and looking at the camera. But what is that LOOK Zeria's giving me? This is getting OLD. My kids are starting to agree btw.
So mommy tries one last time. Gets them sitting nice, grabs the camera pushes the button and......................
Okay...Its official I am NOT gonna get a night job as a professional photographer.
YEAH my mom just called.....and my 12 year old sister is gonna be able to come over today. So my kids can have somebody who can play with them for awhile. I was wondering how I was gonna survive this long day without being able to go to town or "entertain" them. (Thank you Lord)
Father God, I ask for Kaylin today that she wouldn't be too fussy. I pray for my calm attitude in dealing with doing nothing. And I pray that you would keep the baby in my womb safe. I thank you for all the work Rob is doing in your sons name Amen
Good morning. I woke up exhausted this morning. After having done nothing all day yesterday Go figure. So, Rob sent me back to bed like an errant school child. Never should have told him about Monday's contractions lol. He worked like a feind yesterday. Our house looks so good. I try not to think about it, haven't had the energy to get it that clean in a long time. Besides the fact that he did two dump runs. (LONG overdue) Split firewood, etc. PBBBBBBBBBBT to his energy level. But at least he's a little bit tired today. I know I'm terrible.
Went and bought a baby quilt last night with Kaylin after my midwife appointment. My mom gave me all of her tri-chem (liquid embroidery) So that will be my sitting on my rear doing nothing project. I haven't tri-chemed in years, but its a no-brainer easily interrupted project.
Talked to my mom a long time this morning on the phone. Hadn't told her about Monday yet either. Four of her kids are performing in a Misoula Childrens Theater this week. So the big kids & I will go see it. They are VERY well done. 250 kids audition for them each year, and ALL 4 of hers made it. That's gotta say something. Starting next week when Misoula is done, my 11 year old sister is gonna come over & play with my kids one day a week for a couple hours in the afternoon. She loves my kids, (3 of them being her sibs) and is very patient with them. It will give them a little bit of a break from the boring mommy.
Kaylin and I had fun last night. She went with me to my midwife's appointment. And was VERY VERY serious about that. She NEVER smiled the whole time we were there. LOL She just stood & watched the midwife measure me and do the internal . And after the midwife was done I was sitting up talking to her (draped of course) And Kaylin apparently wasn't impressed with that, so she brought me my pants I'm sitting there holding my pants and we continue to talk and lo-and behold...we had a small earthquake. snicker. I got dressed quickly I haven't read the news to see what it was but probably less then a 4.0. It makes for a good story.
After midwifes, I took Kaylin shopping at Walmart. And she got to pick out her VERY own toy as a weaning prize. I knew how much she loves her sisters Pretty Pretty Princess game. (Gee thanks Alicia) So I took her to the kids jewelry aisle. I said so which one do you want? She pointed. I said well how about this one...she said no! and pointed back at the pretty hot pink set. So that's what she got necklace, bracelets, earrings, rings, and high heeled shoes. My daughter btw at less then two years of age has a shoe-fetish And she thinks those plastic hot pink high heeled shoes are the greatest thing in the world! I'll post a picture later. Too lazy to do it right now.
Its nap time for the kids...so I think I'll go lay down with them. Not that I've hardly been awake yet today. LOL Wow I'm lazy.
Father God, I ask that things would go smoothly today. That Kaylin would understand why I can't carry her. And that Jamari would be cheerful, and not super clingy. I thank you for my big kids being so helpful, and pray that this pattern would continue. I ask for you to continue to help the contractions to stay gone, and for me to be careful. Keep Rob energized and not overdoing it. In your sons name, Amen
Tonia breathes big sigh of relief.
In
Out
Cervix is still completely closed. So NO big bad bedrest. She gave me big stars for the lifestyle changes, and said we'd go from here. Will update more tomorrow. Oh and she didn't say no sex. But I don't think we'll ahem be doing it three nights in a row any time soon. (I know I know Too MUCH INFORMATION )
Sleep tight all
Good morning. Life looks much better this morning. Rob & I had a good conversation last night. And thoroughly enjoyed our date night. Even if he was being goofy last night. LOL
Kaylin has officially had her last nurse. I told her before she nursed it was her last. (like she cared) And she proceeded to nurse less then 30 seconds. (Like she has been for the last week or two)
I KNOW when I go to my midwife tonight she will tell me NO MORE nursies....we already discussed this at the first ever appointment for this pregnancy. So I cherished it (she didn't lol) And I now sniff sniff sniff have a big girl. I think I'm gonna ask Rob if I can take Kaylin out and "celebrate" tonight.
She can come with me to mommys midwife appointment and maybe we'll buy something to honor the weaning. Unless Fleur gets mad at me LOL I'm gonna say Kaylin self-weaned. hehehe (she'll understand the joke) Because I've been offering this nurse for weeks...and Kaylin has just so not been intrested. Sooooooooo we're done.
Though if after the baby was born she was intrested I would not hesitate to reinitiate it at all.
I was not gonna tell my midwife about yesterday. But Rob has asked me to......so I will. He KNOWS what he's asking...because I can ALMOST guarantee its gonna mean celibacy for him for the next 10 weeks. Oh by its gonna be a LONG 10 weeks...and I finally found my sex drive. *sigh*
Rob is officially doing all the household stuff. I will continue to grocery shop, unless that wears me out, we will see. Fortunately I have hired a very reliable effecient girl to do the deep clean once a week. So he doesn't have to face that. If I start having more contractions then this. February 1st I will hire my 16 year old sister to come in a couple days of week to entertain kids help me out as well. We've already discussed this with her. She is dropping out of PS and going back to homeschooling January 28th thats why we're waiting until then. Hopefully by that time the stinker will have her drivers license (she still can't parallel park ).
Rob & I are transititioning Kaylin into no longer being carried down the stairs etc. This is also gonna be a no-no. But I'd already started that a little bit. I will no longer be picking her up unless to put her in the van. If she has a boo-boo...I will walk her to a chair and then comfort her. Had to do this with Samuel at the same age...the first couple days is hard, but then they just get used to the new way of doing things.
Jamari of course has to be carried up & down stairs...but I don't have to do that much, because 98% of the time Rob is home during that time. The rest of the time I think we'll be putting him to sleep in a crib in our bedroom and Rob will carry him up afterwards.
Okay does all this sound like overkill? Well I'm doing absolutely EVERYTHING I can think of to make the midwife happy, and keep her from saying the VERY VERY BAD word~~~ bedrest
Father God, I thank you for the baby kicking in my tummy. And that it kicks so frequently to remind me how healthy he/she is. I ask that you would continue to keep he/she inside until at least 36 weeks. I pray that I would learn to let go of the way things "should be" done while Rob takes over too many of "my" responsibilities. I thank you for the lighthearted fun we had last night. In your sons name, Amen
I just had a light bulb come on in my head, one that isn't making me too happy.
I've NOT been feeling good today. Part of this is due to no thyroid med in my system for the last two days. (I know, I know...you can all spank me later) Part of this is due to the fact that I'm still sore from the #$@*(#&$*@(# ultrasound that I had on Friday. And please don't tell my husband...but I just came off of 1 hour of contractions 30 seconds long in duration about every 5 minutes. *sigh* I had ptl last time, and I'm desperately hoping this isn't coming back.
I will tell him tonight on our date night. The babies fine...cause she/he just started kicking me again. And I think *sigh* I'm gonna relinquish my last household chore. The laundry.
I'm in tears as I type this. I don't expect you to understand. But doing housework is a thing of pride to me. And I'm not doing any. I've desperately held onto doing the laundry because "I" do a better job. And it means something that isn't kid related that "I" can still do.
But the baby in my stomache means more to me then that. And I do NOT want a premie.
So here comes the revelation. I'm incredibly envious/jealous of my husband and his energy. HE got owly this afternoon because he had to sit inside with the kids for a whole hour because I was too tired to give him my blessing to go outside and work.
I sit so much of the time. Its why I'm in front of this darn computer so much. Because every single time "I" get proud and start doing too much...my body quits. And my Father God tells me, slow down your job is loving your kids & husband.
I guess I haven't learned the lesson yet. So I swallow my pride and ask my husband tonight to take over the laundry. He's volunteered 6x. But I bawled at the thought of it each time.
Getting my thyroid med in a little bit. Going out on a date with my husband. And relaxing. I need prayers folks. Now that I've realized the sin I have in my life. *again* I need to confess it, and learn how to live WITHOUT jealousy.
Tonia
